Entries Tagged as 'Brooklyn'

Oh, shit!

November 11th, 2007 · 170 Comments

My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people over the past few months, with good reason.


I think the dogged persistence of the note-writer is pretty incredible in its own right, but even better is what the note doesn’t quite explain: these bags weren’t just being stolen — some “juvenile/adult delinquent” was also cutting the bottom of the bags, then putting them back for the next unsuspecting dog-walking victim. Oh, shit!

go find another thrill

juvenile/adult delinquent

(Thanks to William, Kathleen, Elaine, Sarah, T-1-11, and JM for submitting!)

related: What is it about dog crap that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · dogs · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · Park Slope · saga · shit · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Extremely loud and incredibly close quarters

August 6th, 2007 · 70 Comments

Amy in Seattle says her favorite part of the note is the children (Please, think of the children!) but I was most impressed by the use of both “being effected” and “being impacted” in a single sentence. Those loud, “vulgar-related” noises might, in fact, be the sound of English teachers around the world crying out in agony.

Vulgar related?

Then there’s this one, from William over at lowercase l. It was slipped into his mailbox in Brooklyn by a neighbor several years (and girlfriends) ago. considering the awkwardness of the situation, I find it’s actually quite civil. It’s interesting, though, how people feel the need to give elaborate, vaguely scientific justifications (the acoustical properties of the windows, REM sleep) for why they don’t want to hear you getting it on.

Tags: Brooklyn · neighbors · Seattle · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

The thoughts that count

June 25th, 2007 · 87 Comments

An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.

We really do appreciate you handling the end of year gift collection and we know it can be a thankless task. I must say, however, that  I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the emphasis on how much money was collected and from whom. I thought the whole idea of giving a gift was that we gave from the heart, no matter the amount. Isn't that what we teach our children? Suddenly it feels like you are trying to shame those of us who may not have given the most for whatever out personal reasons not the less of which could be financial. Please let's not continue this embarrassment any longer. We should rethink the process for future gift-giving.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: "helpful" advice · Brooklyn · e-mail · Moms & Dads · money · Park Slope · public shaming · rebuttals

Some legionnaire’s idea of epigrammatic wit

May 21st, 2007 · 10 Comments

I realize this example (from outside the American Legion HQ in Park Slope, Brooklyn) is not so much “passive-aggressive” as it is “crazy,” but it tickles me too much not to post. The little species/feces couplet has been painted over and re-written at least twice, so obviously I’m not the only one who appreciated it.

CONDEMNED NO LITTERING. Dump no garbage here. Join the human species - don't dump - even feces!


You can’t tell from these photos, but this little storefront stands as one of the few bastions on Fifth Avenue that the armies of invading gentrifiers couldn’t take down with their industrial-size nozzles of mrs. meyer’s and turn into a precious little bakery selling organic dog cupcakes. While I was taking these photos a man in a lawn chair was either yelling at me to stop or trying to sell me a ratty old suitcase.

Tags: Brooklyn · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · more aggressive than passive · Park Slope · shit

Now you’re just bringing it on yourself, don’t you think?

May 20th, 2007 · 8 Comments

The latest in a well-documented series.

Things to do this summer: 1. Watch baseball 2. Enjoy Prospect Park 3. Swim in the Ocean. Things NOT to do this summer: 1. Do not let your dog shit here 2. Do not leave your trash/unwanted items here 3. Do not tag my door - please :)

related: Have a nice day


Tags: Brooklyn · dogs · garbage · neighbors · Park Slope · shit · smiley

How about never? Does never work for you?

May 18th, 2007 · 10 Comments

From Emily: another example of Brooklyn’s seemingly unparalleled commitment to exasperated signage (as previously documented here.)

NO PARKING: Not 5 minutes, not 30 seconds, NOT AT ALL!

Tags: Brooklyn · more aggressive than passive · parking

What is it about dog shit that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?

May 18th, 2007 · 25 Comments

Wesh snapped this a few years back in Red Hook, Brooklyn, while walking from his brother’s rehearsal dinner to the after-party bar.

Says Wesh: “What gets me are the flags. Why flags?”


(How bougie does Park Slope’s version look in comparison?)

Tags: Brooklyn · dogs · more aggressive than passive · shit

Have a nice day

May 13th, 2007 · 6 Comments

The latest in a series previously documented here and here…right across the street from my Park Slope apartment.

Have a nice day. Please don't let your dog shit here and please don't TAG on my door! Thanks :)

Update: Another one!

related: The Pooper Stooper

Tags: dogs · neighbors · Park Slope · shit · smiley

Please, please, please

May 13th, 2007 · 8 Comments

There’s something so wildly theatrical about this sign, spotted in Gowanus, Brooklyn. I wouldn’t be surprised if it burst into song.

Please, please, please...GARBAGE FOR TENANTS ONLY!

Tags: Brooklyn · garbage · landlords and property managers · neighbors

It was an ironic dance party, okay?

May 12th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Slipped under our door by the downstairs neighbors.

Ya'll: This is the 3rd time Michael Jackson, Amy Grant, and the cast of Disney have invaded my apartment against my will. I tried knocking + was unheard or ignored. I don't want to have to rat you out, but if it doesn't stop ASAP I'm calling the policy. SORRY, Apt. 1

(Guilty as charged.)

related: Seriously…Sugar Ray?

Tags: Brooklyn · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Park Slope · the po-po