Entries Tagged as 'New York'

Refrain/stop/discontinue

July 18th, 2007 · 41 Comments

“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”

Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

ONCE AGAIN PLEASE REFRAIN (STOP) FROM OPENING COFFEE BOXES THAT ARE IN THE CABINET. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT WHEN IT COMES TO ORDERING COFFEE. IF THIS CONTINUES THE COFFEE SERVICE IN THIS PANTRY WILL HAVE TO BE DISCONTINUED. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)

Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office

We hear you, man

July 7th, 2007 · 80 Comments

Nothing personal, OK?

Thanks to Elliette for passing this along for her friend in Manhattan.

And as a bonus, a classic passive-aggressive noise complaint from the fantastic Found magazine:

imthebossbitch.jpg

Tags: music · neighbors · New York · noise · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · thanks (but not really)

The thoughts that count

June 25th, 2007 · 87 Comments

An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.

prekdramajpeg.jpg

Tags: "helpful" advice · Brooklyn · e-mail · Moms & Dads · money · rebuttals

Et tu, Dora?

June 13th, 2007 · 20 Comments

Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…

You shouldn't learned this when you were my age, but...Please Be Neat and Wipe the Seat. And please flush!

Tags: a little patronizing · New York · office · toilet

Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 Comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences

My sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick

June 8th, 2007 · 22 Comments

Explains Desi in New York: “I work in a dungeon, (a “we- do-S&M-here” place) and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak English all that well.” Now that’s a formula for comic gold.

Although the circuitous first sentence here is pretty great, I think the thing I love most about this sign is how terribly average it is. (No clip art of whips and chains, say.) Except for the use of the word “girls,” this wouldn’t be terribly out of place at any other office. (It’s also a nice companion piece to this.)

Calling Out Sick: Unfortunately because so many girls have been calling out sick we have to enforce a new rule of not being able to call out sick. If you are sick you need to find someone to cover your shift (without taking them from another shift). The shifts are already very empty because of planned vacations. You also need to provide us with a valid doctor's note with a telephone number so we can call and confirm. Otherwise, sick or not, you are expected to show up for work on time.

Tags: crazy boss · illness · New York · sex sex sex

Yo, could I get a cold beverage?

June 8th, 2007 · 32 Comments

“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”

(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)

This refrigerator is not self replenishing. It would be nice if when you take a drink, please replace. Everyone deserves a cold drink. Don't be selfish.

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · New York · office · office fridge

If you sprinkle ellipses when you tinkle…

June 3rd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Says submitter Erica in New York City, “As bad as it can get in the ladies’, I’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”

PLEASE LADIES........PLEASE

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet

 
<