Entries Tagged as 'New York'

Some legionnaire’s idea of epigrammatic wit

May 21st, 2007 · 10 Comments

I realize this example (from outside the American Legion HQ in Park Slope, Brooklyn) is not so much “passive-aggressive” as it is “crazy,” but it tickles me too much not to post. The little species/feces couplet has been painted over and re-written at least twice, so obviously I’m not the only one who appreciated it.

CONDEMNED NO LITTERING. Dump no garbage here. Join the human species - don't dump - even feces!

DO NOT LITTER. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You can’t tell from these photos, but this little storefront stands as one of the few bastions on Fifth Avenue that the armies of invading gentrifiers couldn’t take down with their industrial-size nozzles of mrs. meyer’s and turn into a precious little bakery selling organic dog cupcakes. While I was taking these photos a man in a lawn chair was either yelling at me to stop or trying to sell me a ratty old suitcase.

Tags: Brooklyn · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · more aggressive than passive · Park Slope · shit

I spit in mine

May 20th, 2007 · 3 Comments

Spotted on the office fridge by Sam, who also brings us this little gem — the most precise vending-machine operating instructions ever written.

PLEASE STOP STEALING MY FOOD! (I spit in mine! Enjoy!) And I want my nice Tupperware back!!!

related: Spit & Vinegar

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · New York · office fridge · spitting · stealing

When you get down to it

May 20th, 2007 · 24 Comments

Thanks to Rachel for bringing to light another key battleground for office passive-aggressives: the thermostat.

Folks, as you know, we have control over the office thermostat above, but please, let's never turn it down to 55 degrees. Turning it to this temperature does not make the office cool down more quickly; it simply makes the air conditioning never stop pushing cold air. This thermostat is located too far from the A/C to reach such an extremely cold temperature (which is what would turn the system off and on to regulate the temperature). And when you get down to it, 55 degrees outdoors is coat weather anyway. In the large room at the end of the office, this endless blast of cold air can make it almost unbearable to work — things on our desks even turn cold to the touch! Come and stand near the windows and the A/C vents and you'll see. If there's an area of the office or a private office that isn't cooling properly, please have Nina help out by calling building maintenance and getting it fixed. But the general thermostat should not go below 70. Those of us sitting next to the A/C vents thank you very much!

related: This is your friend the thermostat

Tags: "helpful" advice · New York · office · temperature

Now you’re just bringing it on yourself, don’t you think?

May 20th, 2007 · 8 Comments

The latest in a well-documented series.

Things to do this summer: 1. Watch baseball 2. Enjoy Prospect Park 3. Swim in the Ocean. Things NOT to do this summer: 1. Do not let your dog shit here 2. Do not leave your trash/unwanted items here 3. Do not tag my door - please :)

related: Have a nice day

 

Tags: Brooklyn · dogs · garbage · neighbors · Park Slope · shit · smiley

Only one or two

May 19th, 2007 · 4 Comments

Spotted by Eric at Uncle Moe’s in Manhattan.

Take a Penny Give a Penny ONLY ONE OR TWO

related: The penny is the most passive-aggressive coin

Tags: "customer service" · New York

How about never? Does never work for you?

May 18th, 2007 · 10 Comments

From Emily: another example of Brooklyn’s seemingly unparalleled commitment to exasperated signage (as previously documented here.)

NO PARKING: Not 5 minutes, not 30 seconds, NOT AT ALL!

Tags: Brooklyn · more aggressive than passive · parking

What is it about dog shit that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?

May 18th, 2007 · 25 Comments

Wesh snapped this a few years back in Red Hook, Brooklyn, while walking from his brother’s rehearsal dinner to the after-party bar.

Says Wesh: “What gets me are the flags. Why flags?”

CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOGS MOTHERFUCKERS KICK YOUR ASS

(How bougie does Park Slope’s version look in comparison?)

Tags: Brooklyn · dogs · more aggressive than passive · shit

Have a nice day

May 13th, 2007 · 6 Comments

The latest in a series previously documented here and here…right across the street from my Park Slope apartment.

Have a nice day. Please don't let your dog shit here and please don't TAG on my door! Thanks :)

Update: Another one!

related: The Pooper Stooper

Tags: dogs · neighbors · Park Slope · shit · smiley

Please, please, please

May 13th, 2007 · 8 Comments

There’s something so wildly theatrical about this sign, spotted in Gowanus, Brooklyn. I wouldn’t be surprised if it burst into song.

Please, please, please...GARBAGE FOR TENANTS ONLY!

Tags: Brooklyn · garbage · landlords and property managers · neighbors

It was an ironic dance party, okay?

May 12th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Slipped under our door by the downstairs neighbors.

Ya'll: This is the 3rd time Michael Jackson, Amy Grant, and the cast of Disney have invaded my apartment against my will. I tried knocking + was unheard or ignored. I don't want to have to rat you out, but if it doesn't stop ASAP I'm calling the policy. SORRY, Apt. 1

(Guilty as charged.)

related: Seriously…Sugar Ray?

Tags: Brooklyn · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Park Slope · the po-po

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