Amy in Seattle says her favorite part of the note is the children (Please, think of the children!) but I was most impressed by the use of both “being effected” and “being impacted” in a single sentence. Those loud, “vulgar-related” noises might, in fact, be the sound of English teachers around the world crying out in agony.

Then there’s this one, from William over at lowercase l. It was slipped into his mailbox in Brooklyn by a neighbor several years (and girlfriends) ago. considering the awkwardness of the situation, I find it’s actually quite civil. It’s interesting, though, how people feel the need to give elaborate, vaguely scientific justifications (the acoustical properties of the windows, REM sleep) for why they don’t want to hear you getting it on.

“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”

Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)

Thanks to Elliette for passing this along for her friend in Manhattan.

And as a bonus, a classic passive-aggressive noise complaint from the fantastic Found magazine:

An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.

related: No money, no trophy

Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Explains Desi in New York: “I work in a dungeon, (a “we- do-S&M-here” place) and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak English all that well.” Now that’s a formula for comic gold.

Although the circuitous first sentence here is pretty great, I think the thing I love most about this sign is how terribly average it is. (No clip art of whips and chains, say.) Except for the use of the word “girls,” this wouldn’t be terribly out of place at any other office. (It’s also a nice companion piece to this.)

“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”

(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)