Entries Tagged as 'New York'

Lean Cuisine

October 23rd, 2008 · 83 Comments

From Sasha in New York: evidence that the financial crisis has begun to trickle down to Joe Six-Pack.

I know the DOW just dropped 600 pts. But PLEASE don't eat that are NOT YOURS.

related: Desperate Times

Tags: college life · money · New York · office · stealing · thx

Communication needed

September 17th, 2008 · 147 Comments

Writes Harry in New York: “My roomie sent me this e-mail two weeks after telling me I need to move out.  I guess it’s a case of retroactive passive-aggression on my part.”

communication needed

In his own defense, Harry adds, “the ‘light’ is a nightlight and the ‘AC’ is a window fan.”

related: Some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

Tags: e-mail · energy usage · money · New York · roommates

“I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

September 12th, 2008 · 115 Comments

(My roommate disagreed.)

Fuck you! I made a cake anyway :)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)

related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

Tags: birthday · Brooklyn · cake · Park Slope · roommates · smiley

Especially religion

August 21st, 2008 · 228 Comments

Just so you Noe Valley-ites don’t feel like you’ve cornered the self-righteous yuppie market…I spotted this last week on my very own block in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

For Apt #3: If you are UPS/USPS/DHL/FedEx/Ed MacMahon with a check for millions of dollars, you only need to BUZZ ONCE. If I'm here, I'll let you in. If I'm not (or I can't come to the door) I won't. If you are NOT any of the above - DO NOT BUZZ. I don't want what you have, especially if it's religion! There may be a SLEEPING BABY in here and you will be cursed if you wake her for no reason!

related: The thoughts that count

extra credit: “A different sort of neighborhood watch” [brownstoner.com]
Brooklyn neighbors & passive-aggressive notes” [daftcrafts.com]

Tags: Brooklyn · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · Moms & Dads · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Park Slope

Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

June 26th, 2008 · 178 Comments

5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.

If you are physically or mentally incapable or putting these back in their correct spots, then please just leave them there. DO NOT just stick it anywhere just because you are in a hurry. People that do that PISS me off and make it hard for everyone else who knows the alphabet and is looking for a CD that is supposed to be there but isn't. If you are a JERK who is stashing the CD with the intention of coming back for it, you are LYING to yourself. We'd be happy to hold it until the end of the next day if you would just let us know. DON'T BE STOOPID!!!

4. What, can’t you read?

'Scuze us a sec...If you don't know the alphabet very well or you haven't been fully trained on how to put records back where they belong, please leave and come back with someone who can accompany you through this confusing process. For our good customers, please enjoy our current selection!

3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?

 EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY!!! Do NOT use this door as an exit unless there is an emergency. If you use this door, you'll be met by us at the top of the stars and possibly held for the police as a shoplifter. At the very least, you'll be 86'd from both Recycled Records, never to return. Neither of us would like to see that happen, now would we? After all, the stuff's only a buck...

2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?

No more than two questions per customer

And last but not least…

1. The Internet (probably)

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster

Tags: "customer service" · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Ithaca · most popular notes of 2008 · music · retail hell

TMI all around

June 23rd, 2008 · 119 Comments

Daniel in New York spotted this note (and the follow-ups) on the door of his SoHo office building’s restroom — “a nice single seater with a window.”

Adds Daniel: “I understand the sentiment — my sphincter locks up like a vise with any distraction. But I do hope that the large white area on the thoughtfully typed response will illicit a petition of like-minded others.”

It's really annoying when I go to use this bathroom to (privately) number two, if you will, only to hear someone yapping on the phone! Seriously, if you want to have a phone convo (privately) take it to the stairwell or outside next time, buddy. Thank you. --Sorry, I have a habit of pooping & talking! UNLESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY HANDICAPPED, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS BEING RUDE. AND THANKS FOR GIVING US ALL WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. TALK ABOUT BAD MANNERS...

related: Or at least pass the sports section under the door

Tags: bathroom · cell phone · New York · noise · office · TMI · toilet

The art of the passive-aggressive note

May 23rd, 2008 · 77 Comments

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

CAT ACCIDENT ->

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

NOT A TRASH CAN

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

WTF? "What the fuck?"

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

WTF?

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

the Jeff Koons approach

related: Why-fi

Tags: actions speak louder · art · Berkeley · cleaning · Houston · New York · Oakland · obnoxious definition · office · roommates · San Francisco · WTF?

Perverse and often baffling

May 6th, 2008 · 120 Comments

Which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

Is it exhibit a, from New York’s West Village?

Please please please...no dogs

(Think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. Why the sunglasses? And not just any shades…but electric blue? Ditto, the sunflower.)

Exhibit b, From a casino in Cambodia?

(Does no crossed out mean…yes?)

Or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in Berlin?
Vitamine sind jetzt wichtig!

(Trust me: speaking German is no help here.)

If you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

Tags: Berlin · Cambodia · clip art catastrophe · Deutsche · dogs · New York · you be the judge

The finest, most literary vagrants

April 29th, 2008 · 81 Comments

Writes an anonymous student at Binghamton University: “Some grad students are mad about the teaching load for TAs, so they have been putting up these posters in order to raise awareness.”

Adds our submitter (with a yawn): “I am now more aware of how douche-y they are.”

Disgruntled Graduate Students 2

Disgruntled Graduate Students Disgruntled Graduate Students 3

Disgruntled Graduate Students 4

related: Or take a cab!!!

Tags: Binghamton · blitzkrieg approach · college life · New York · raging against the machine

And please don’t step on any cracks, either

April 16th, 2008 · 126 Comments

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”

PLEASE DO NOT EAT IN THE HOUSE THANKS MOM

“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

Tags: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought