(My roommate disagreed.)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)

related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

Just so you Noe Valley-ites don’t feel like you’ve cornered the self-righteous yuppie market…I spotted this last week on my very own block in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

related: The thoughts that count

extra credit: “A different sort of neighborhood watch” [brownstoner.com]
“Brooklyn neighbors & passive-aggressive notes” [daftcrafts.com]

5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.

4. What, can’t you read?

3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?

2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?

And last but not least…

1. The Internet (probably)

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster

Daniel in New York spotted this note (and the follow-ups) on the door of his SoHo office building’s restroom — “a nice single seater with a window.”

Adds Daniel: “I understand the sentiment — my sphincter locks up like a vise with any distraction. But I do hope that the large white area on the thoughtfully typed response will illicit a petition of like-minded others.”

related: Or at least pass the sports section under the door

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

related: Why-fi

Which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

Is it exhibit a, from New York’s West Village?

(Think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. Why the sunglasses? And not just any shades…but electric blue? Ditto, the sunflower.)

Exhibit b, From a casino in Cambodia?

(Does no crossed out mean…yes?)

Or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in Berlin?

(Trust me: speaking German is no help here.)

If you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

Writes an anonymous student at Binghamton University: “Some grad students are mad about the teaching load for TAs, so they have been putting up these posters in order to raise awareness.”

Adds our submitter (with a yawn): “I am now more aware of how douche-y they are.”

related: Or take a cab!!!

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”

“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!