Chris in Cincinnati says this came in the mail with no return address.

The butterfly sticker is a nice touch, no?

related: Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

Scott in Cincinnati says this is merely the latest notice he’s seen posted at his father-in-law’s cab company.

related: I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.

Writes Claire in Cincinnati: “This individual moved in a month ago and is already getting into a note war with the neighbors!”

related: An eyesore for an eyesore

“Frankly, I find this a little bit ridiculous,” says our submitter in Ohio, “but then again, I’m not a man.”

related: Urinal Games

Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.

(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

“Smooth move, Ferguson!” he said with a snort, his laughter echoing down the empty hallway. He started to walk on, then stopped short. That tuna-salad sandwich can wait, he thought. This was the English Department, after all — someone should be keeping up appearances! With that, the graduate student made an abrupt about-face, scurrying back to the tiny office he had just left to compose a suitable caps-locked rejoinder.

This, he could already tell, would be the highlight of his week.

Author’s note: The chair above was spotted by Ben in a hallway of the English Building (oh, the shame!) at the University of Cincinnati. Adds Ben: “I don’t know how you write a note with only a few words on it, all of them huge, and mess one up so badly.”

related: Childrens can learn!

J.Star says he found this passive-aggressive twist on the old RSPCA campaign/Scottish band in a Cincinnati parking lot. (Pet-lovers: just to let you know, it was crumpled up on the ground, not on his windshield.)

related: I can has guilt trip?

Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again