Entries Tagged as 'Ohio'

Flowcharts for a positive apartment-sharing experience

June 5th, 2012 · 56 Comments

Four roommates, a half-gallon of stolen ice cream, and 9 months worth of unflushed toilets went into the making of these two flowcharts.

Refrigerator flowchart

Bathroom Flow Chart: for a positive lavatory experience!

related: Hover & Flow(chart)

Tags: battle of the sexes · flow chart · food · fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · Ohio · roommates · toilet

Garage sales are serious business.

May 29th, 2012 · 94 Comments

Amy in Ohio found this delightful diatribe while browsing through area garage sale listings on Craigslist. “Fortunately I snapped a screenshot, because this gem was soon flagged for removal,” she says. “My favorite part: ‘…nothing but ignorance!’”

To ALL individuals having garage sales and the like. IF you are having a garage sale, PLEASE DO NOT close up at 1:00 p.m. You know you are having a garage sale and to close up so early is nothing but ignorance! Like the flea market vendors. Many people must work (thank God) until 3:00 p.m. or later BEFORE they can make it to any of these functions, and to close up early tells me you are not interested in selling at all, just to have the function to feel you need to be part of a group of people to sit around and gossip and eat. In that case, why not just have hot dogs and pop and not have the garage sale. Also, if you are going to let your nit wit children handle it, well,  you just lost money as well. So please, when having your supposed garage sale, please stay open later or just give it all to the your local charities and get a write off. Gas is very expensive to go running from door to door, let alone to do nothing but close up at 1:00 p.m. and talk with nit wit kids!!!!

related: Some advice on holding a garage sale

Tags: Craigslist · garage sale · most popular notes of 2012 · Ohio · unsolicited feedback

Well, it’s not a horse’s head in your bed…

April 25th, 2012 · 43 Comments

Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.

(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)

This is what will happen to you if you take people's clothes.

related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…

Tags: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning

Very unfortunate, indeed.

February 22nd, 2012 · 55 Comments

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

Hey, Guess What!!  If someone's shitting on the floor, they probably aren't going to stop if you shame them with a stall memo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · Cleveland · office · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?

I did the dishes! Where’s my cookie?

December 14th, 2011 · 53 Comments

Explains our submitter in Ohio: “Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.

You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…

Guess What?? I cleaned the dishes — even the ones that were NOT mine... and guess what again? It did NOT kill me and I did NOT magically transform into your MOTHER. You want to know what it felt like? It felt like a person that lives in this house understanding that her ROOMMATES have been extremely busy recently and she had some extra time to be able to help out. You want to know how much time it took out of my day? About ten minutes!!

related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!

Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...

The very delicate elevator

October 24th, 2011 · 52 Comments

Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.

(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)

DO NOT HOLD DOOR!!! THIS WILL DAMAGE ELEVATOR! DO NOT HOLD LIGHT SWITCH!!!

DO NOT HOLD WATER FOUNTAIN LEVER!!! THIS WILL DAMAGE ELEVATOR!

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Cincinnati · elevator · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · smartass

Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

October 3rd, 2011 · 155 Comments

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

Hi All! If you

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Cleveland · heart · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love · smoking · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Closed due to impending anarchy

August 10th, 2011 · 44 Comments

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Due to the imminent collapse of society we regret to announce we are closing at 6pm tonight.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Temporarily out of order. (We live in a fallen world) We will restore order here as soon as possible.

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Tags: Cincinnati · don't blame us · U.K. · WTF?

Love, the Landlord

July 13th, 2011 · 112 Comments

Jon’s assessment after a night of partying: “Totally worth it.”

No smoking  Jon Please clear the porch -Spilled beer -Ash on the kids table -Cigarettes on porch/stairs -Matches  <3 Will

related: Late night beer parties!

Tags: drizzunk · landlords and property managers · Ohio · smoking

Your guardian angel just wants you to get ‘bikini ready’

May 26th, 2011 · 56 Comments

In this episode of targeted advertising gone awry, Jill in Nashville went the grocery store and bought a bag of chocolate chips (“to make cookies for work”) and one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (“just one, mind you!”)

If Jill sounds a little defensive, that’s probably because  — thanks to some disarmingly deadpan algorithms — she received this perky little coupon along with her receipt.

Slim-Fast! Kick start your diet!

Meanwhile, a submitter in Ohio was about to reach for the Cherry Garcia — but stopped short when she spotted this “sign from above.”

I think we both know you don't need this, brochacho.

related: Are you calling me fat?

Tags: bad sales pitch · food · hey fatty · ice cream · Nashville · Ohio