Entries Tagged as 'Ohio'
“Smooth move, Ferguson!” he said with a snort, his laughter echoing down the empty hallway. He started to walk on, then stopped short. That tuna-salad sandwich can wait, he thought. This was the English Department, after all — someone should be keeping up appearances! With that, the graduate student made an abrupt about-face, scurrying back to the tiny office he had just left to compose a suitable caps-locked rejoinder.
This, he could already tell, would be the highlight of his week.
Author’s note: The chair above was spotted by Ben in a hallway of the English Building (oh, the shame!) at the University of Cincinnati. Adds Ben: “I don’t know how you write a note with only a few words on it, all of them huge, and mess one up so badly.”
related: Childrens can learn!
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Cincinnati · college life · rebuttals · smartass · warning
“First off,” writes submitter, who we’ll call Lorelai, “my parents and I have never, ever, ever had any kind of discussion regarding ANYTHING having to do with sex. Mostly because, well, they are my 60-something-year-old parents. And my father is my preacher.”
Today, Lorelai is a 33-year-old “volleyball-coaching, home-owning, full-time working, Girl-Scout-Troop-leading” mother of a “well-behaved, smart, friendly, athletic, violin-playing” daughter, who happens to be the product of unplanned pregnancy 11 years ago.
“Although it took my parents some time to accept the decision I made to raise her (successfully, so far!) on my own, I thought we had moved on,” our submitter says. “Apparently not. My long-distance, very serious, boyfriend will be visiting in a few days, and I guess they wanted to make their stance clear on the matter, eleven years later.”
Lorelai says the follow-up letter from her Mom clarifying to meaning of the card was even more awkward. Sample excerpt:
I guess our gesture was our way of saying ‘We love you and want you to have a healthy sex life, but be careful, because we don’t want you to be hurt like you were before.’
Adds Lorelai: “Maybe some people have this kind of relationship with their parents, but, well, I definitely don’t.”
related: Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.
Tags: holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · Ohio · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day
I kinda love the snottiness of this bar’s dress code, mostly because of how perfectly it allows me to envision the nightlife scene in Tampa, Florida, where Kim spotted this notice. (Essentially, a whole lotta Jon Gosselin-type-wannabes?)
Meanwhile, Holly’s friend Jess snapped this picture of the new dress code at a college-town bar in Ohio. “I’m guessing the boss is not a fan of the frat kids,” says Holly.
related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a
Tags: attire · bar · most popular notes of 2011 · Ohio · Tampa
Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”
At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.
As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”
Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.
related: The Jake Issues
Tags: Cleveland · hygiene · questionable logic · that's unsanitary · TMI · to/too · WTF?
While perusing the merchandise at the local dollar store, Josh in Columbus, Ohio spotted this signage near the shelf of the world’s skeeviest-looking condoms…which are apparently attracting the skeeviest of the Columbus area’s “stupid and sexually active” population.
As one Dooce commenter wrote, “Perhaps if you buy the dollar store condoms, you should just go ahead and grab a couple of pregnancy tests to save yourself a later trip.”
related: Don’t keep yourself warm with pre-marital sex or you’ll have plenty of heat IN HELL!
Tags: actually totally reasonable · Columbus · sex sex sex · stealing
In Ohio, one household tries the proactive approach to preventing Halloween thuggery:
(We’ll have to wait to hear back from our submitter Darcy to see if it worked.)
Tags: Halloween · most popular notes of 2010 · Ohio · stealing · vandalism
Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”
Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)
Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”
related: It’s fall! Here are a few updates and several complaints.
Tags: blame it on the crackhead · Columbus · D.C. · drugs · landlords and property managers · shit · WTF?
September 23rd, 2010 · 94 Comments
“Perhaps I was a bit too particular about what I wanted when I ordered my salad at lunch,” admits Daniel in Seattle. “I found this when I pulled it out of my bag back at the office.”
And from the Athens, Ohio Dept. of Disgruntled Baristas…
related: Have it your way, jerk
Tags: cranky barista · most popular notes of 2010 · Ohio · restaurant · Seattle
Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”
“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”
Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”
related: I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.
Tags: Columbus · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · irregular capitalization · motorcycles · neighbors · parking · spelling and grammar police
For the folks who found yesterday’s “do not come in” post a bit too “kids say the darndest things” precious, I figured I’d better even things out with a look at what happens when those neglected jealous siblings grow up…and get armed.
Exhibit A, spotted by Heather at a gas station in Gastonia, North Carolina
Exhibit B, which Steve found pinned to a tree in Athens, Ohio (where, while visiting friends, he stumbled upon the property of the local necrophiliac farmer)
And lastly, Exhibit C, spotted by Dex outside a “fairly dilapidated” house in Raleigh, North Carolina
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: crazypants · die bitch die · gas station · more aggressive than passive · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · Ohio · signed with love · xoxo