Entries Tagged as 'Ohio'

Dear Grandma: Thanks, I guess.

July 8th, 2009 · 253 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”

(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

Thanks, I guess.

Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.

Ever-gracious Grandma

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo

Soyf*ckers Anonymous

June 22nd, 2009 · 358 Comments

Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).

Vegan? Vegan, vegetarian or vegan-curious?  Casual, non-judgemental support & opportunities to connect!  Monthly meetups within the community.  JOIN NOW! The Columbus Vegan Meetup Group  Carnivore? Chances are you don't need some wimpy support group. Keep being AWESOME!

related: P.S. bacon is life

extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McSweeneys]

P.S. Like this post? See more like this by following @panotes on Twitter, on Facebook, or via RSS!

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Columbus · food · most popular notes of 2009 · office · smartass

Sigh-ned

January 11th, 2009 · 89 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police

The Man™: now available in convenient mini-me size!

October 16th, 2008 · 95 Comments

Our submitter, B., was shopping at a shoe store in San Francisco when she realized she really needed to use the facilities. Although there was no public restroom in sight, she did spy the familiar infographic just beyond a doorway marked “employees only.” When she ducked inside, B. was greeted by this sublimely creepy warning from management[!].

If you are in the bathroom longer than 15 minutes, It will be considered your break. Don't make us get a timer! Thank You, Management!

Meanwhile, Chelsea’s boss at the La Quinta in Perrysburg, Ohio managed to dial up the creepy just a smidge more.

Apparently disatisfied with the staff’s response to her frequent written notes, the hotel manager brought in this doll — which chelsea says “looked exactly like her” — to do the job instead. (Er, so to speak.)

I'm watching YOU

related: So many questions

Tags: big brother-ish · crazy boss · now that's management · Ohio · retail hell · San Francisco

What $48,000 a year gets you

October 1st, 2008 · 94 Comments

Jenny says these notes have started showing up in several of the bathroom stalls in her freshman dorm at Oberlin College. As far she knows, none of her fellow frosh have taken the custodians up on their suggestion…but who knows what’ll happen once Parents’ Weekend rolls around?

THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. CUSTODIANS ARE TIRED OF BEGGING FOR SUPPLIES INCLUDING TOILET PAPER. E-MAIL OR CALL THE PRESIDENT OF OBERLIN COLLEGE @OBERLIN.EDU OR 58400

So, President Krislov… care to comment?

related: You might want to take a hard look at your washcloth first

Tags: college life · disgruntled janitor · Ohio · toilet paper

Some dating advice

May 16th, 2008 · 156 Comments

Here, a break-up note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

If you're going to have naked pics of your ex on your phone, you might not want to make them your background pic + LEAVE YOUR PHONE OPEN WHILE YOU SHOWER! I am going for a walk + you better be the FUCK out of my apt by the time I get back. You're a fucking DOUCHE -- SHE'S FUCKING FAT! WTF?

related: you oughta know

Tags: "helpful" advice · breakup · Cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive

If your Grandma wrote PSAs

May 1st, 2008 · 157 Comments

J.Star says he found this passive-aggressive twist on the old RSPCA campaign/Scottish band in a Cincinnati parking lot. (Pet-lovers: just to let you know, it was crumpled up on the ground, not on his windshield.)

phpoJDUbk

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: Cincinnati · dogs · guilt trip · MYOB · spelling and grammar police

When you can’t blame the dog

March 6th, 2008 · 127 Comments

Spotted by Maureen in Cincinnati, Ohio…

Please excuse the odor in the ladies room. It is being caused by the City of Dayton. We are currently taking action against the City to correct this problem.

(Actually, just kidding — it’s from a conference center in Dayton. But how great would that be?)

related: Blame it on Coke

Tags: bathroom · Dayton · odor · Ohio

Through a glass bowl, darkly

February 9th, 2008 · 53 Comments

Cate in Columbus went out of town for a night, and sadly, her absence was enough to provoke her betta fish (Pope Shaivo the Third) to jump out of his bowl and end it all. Meanwhile,Cate says her roommates, apparently unwise to the suicidal tendencies of bettas, “thought I had placed it on my desk and just left it there!”

Cate (fish killer),  We would really appreciate it if you would get your dead fish off the desk + give it a proper burial. Your roommates!

related: Those hamsters were shivering, not dancing

Tags: Columbus · fish · roommates

But He took the wheel

September 27th, 2007 · 105 Comments

Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Dear fellow Christian, The lawns of homeowners on this street are not public parking. Please

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.

Where Would Jesus Park?

joke_card.png

JESUS MIGHT LOVE YOU BUY YOUR REAR TYRES ARE BALD!!

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

Tags: Cincinnati · Decatur · Galveston · Jesus · parking · Texas · the lawn