There’s the typical New York City note…

And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Instead of letting the Facilities Dept. know that the toaster was broken, the folks in Catherine’s office opted to collaboratively solve the problem Apollo-13 style, using only the paper products found in the office supply cabinet.

The major difference? This time, failure was an option.

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

Hollie in Portland, Oregon spotted this note on the second-floor landing as she was walking up to her apartment.

While I’m usually not in favor of note-leaving when a direct confrontation would do, I give this one a pass — creative spelling and all — because, really, have you ever met a middle schooler without an an attitude? I’d say forcing a kid to make it through eighth grade is enough of an ass-kicking already.

related: Another Portland teen takes on her noisy neighbors

“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)

related: Unattended children will be shot.

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

related: Cat fight!

…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)

But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)

Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart,  created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

“We are normally a 24-hour store,” writes our submitter in Portland, Oregon, “but we close early for Christmas.” At least one customer found this policy to be most unsatisfactory — as evidenced by the holiday greeting she left behind.

related: In case you’re wondering why we’re closed

For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…

related: You turned me on and left me.

These two notes — both from Oregon — give me the urge to grab a gigantic fistful of napkins…and then noisily blow my nose with them. I mean, really. Wouldn’t a simple “Al Gore Knows” have sufficed?

(Thanks to Anonymous in Wilsonville and Brad in Albany for submitting!)

related: Your light switch has blue balls.