Entries Tagged as 'Portland'
Heidi says what started off as a simple request turned into a whiteboard snark-off at the natural foods store where she works in (where else?) Portland.
related: Your punishment for forgetting your reusable bags
extra credit: Day in the Life of a Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocery Store Clerk [mcsweeneys.net]
Tags: food · Oregon · Portland · unsolicited feedback
Hollie in Portland, Oregon spotted this note on the second-floor landing as she was walking up to her apartment.
While I’m usually not in favor of note-leaving when a direct confrontation would do, I give this one a pass — creative spelling and all — because, really, have you ever met a middle schooler without an an attitude? I’d say forcing a kid to make it through eighth grade is enough of an ass-kicking already.
related: Another Portland teen takes on her noisy neighbors
Tags: kids · neighbors · noise · Portland
“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)
related: Unattended children will be shot.
Tags: car · kids · neighbors · parking · Portland
…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)
But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)
Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart, created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”
related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts
Tags: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2011 · Portland
“We are normally a 24-hour store,” writes our submitter in Portland, Oregon, “but we close early for Christmas.” At least one customer found this policy to be most unsatisfactory — as evidenced by the holiday greeting she left behind.
related: In case you’re wondering why we’re closed
Tags: Christmas · Portland · retail hell · smiley
For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…
related: You turned me on and left me.
Tags: bathroom · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Freudian shit · Portland
Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.
In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”
Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”
related: Your to lazy
Tags: dogs · kids · neighbors · nice stationery · noise · Portland
CT and his friends were driving home from the beach when they stopped at a gas station in Luverne, Alabama and found this posted next to the men’s bathroom.
“The ‘Danger!’ sign below was apparently the first attempt to keep people from opening this door,” says CT. “God only knows what’s behind it. I’m assuming this door of unspeakable power continued to get opened, prompting the posting of the second sign.”
Hey, I feel your pain, gas station attendant, having to deal with so much stupidity all day long. But — with the help of Rachael in Portland — I think I’ve found someone else who can relate.
Allow me to introduce Lily. She’s 8.
related: An anonymous rant against anonymity
Tags: Alabama · gas station · kids · Portland · spelling and grammar police · your/you're
Writes Tim: “I work at one of the better specialty coffee shops in Portland, Oregon. Some people come in knowing that we can prepare a fantastic drink, but don’t actually know what they like or how to order it. And sometimes these people decide to write a note expressing their displeasure instead of simply asking us to remake their drink.”
Adds Tim: “For the record, these two women ordered a 16 oz. caramel latte and a 16 oz. mocha, which are certainly going to be sweeter and less espresso-forward drinks than our more traditional, non-flavored drinks. And if these two actually visited regularly, they would also know that we don’t have 16 oz. ceramic mugs, which means all 16 oz. drinks are served in paper cups.”
related: An extra bold request
Tags: coffee · cranky barista · Portland
As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm clock.”
What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”
Creepy…but kind of genius, right?
related: Recipe for roommate discord
Tags: cell phone · neighbors · noise · Portland · text message