Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?

August 15th, 2007 · 106 Comments

Brandy in York Haven, Pennsylvania forgot to put water back in the fridge, she says, “and my boyfriend likes his cold water.” Yikes.

Brandy! Put some fucking water back in Fridge so there is cold water for other that are in the house that might want cold water Thanks Management :)

Also note the list of tasks for Brandy and her boyfriend at upper right. Um, so much for challenging gender stereotypes at home, huh?

Tags: battle of the sexes · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · Pennsylvania · sig o · smiley · water · whiteboard

Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)

August 14th, 2007 · 202 Comments

Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.

movin' out (anthony's song)

Anthony left a note on the door…

left a note on the door

Saving his pennies for someday…

savin' his pennies for someday

You oughta know by now

You oughta know by now

Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

working too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

And it seems such a waste of time

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

And it seems such a waste of time

But she’s not movin’ out.

You can pay Uncle Sam with the overtime

Tags: landlords and property managers · money · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · most popular notes of 2007 · moving/not moving · Queens · questionable logic · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

Kitchen wish list

August 13th, 2007 · 86 Comments

An anonymous submitter brings us this note from the kitchen of Vermont Theater’s group housing, “where all the techies live.” Unlike other notes we’ve seen attributed to management/the apartment/the cat, etc., our submitter says the bit at the bottom was, in fact, written by the house’s cleaning lady. “Granted,” he says, “the kitchen was messy, but this is from the CLEANING LADY!”

(I’m wondering though, if “messy” might be a bit of an understatement…)

That peaple [sic] do there [sic] own dishes when finished with them! Thanks Housekeeping

Tags: cleaning · dishes · kitchen · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really) · Vermont

Don’t hate the playa

August 12th, 2007 · 115 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.

Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Did you ever consider the possibility that…oh, never mind.

August 9th, 2007 · 71 Comments

did you consider the possibility that...oh, never mind.

Tags: California · e-mail · food · mold · office · questionable logic · San Francisco · sarcasm

Containing as much or as many as is possible or normal

August 8th, 2007 · 50 Comments

In all fairness, says Brandi in Austin, “This note was written after our dishes became so caked with fungus that we had to buy new stuff. The smell was also REALLY bad.”

NOTICE!!! *Please Commence Immediately* To anyone who Lives, Naps, Shits, Farts, Eats, Sleeps, Fucks, Rests, OR DOES ANYTHING in this house: This is including but not limited to: Brandi, Summer, Keiran, Jason, Peter, Jonathan, Mary, ANYONE!! (Guests are not excluded) PLEASE DO NOT leave dirty dishes, old beer bottles, half eaten shit, or any trash strewn about the apt. If the trash can is full, PLEASE empty it and replace the bag. (If there any other questions about the definition of full, see m-w.com) Try to clean off any plates and dirty cups for placement in the dishwasher. The WHOLE COLLECTIVE would appreciate it greatly. Thank you, owners/operators

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: Austin · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · internet citation · lOWERCASE l · obnoxious definition · roommates · shit · Texas

Some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

August 8th, 2007 · 108 Comments

Jenn in San Francisco received this little from a then-roommate who she lived with for a year but barely ever saw or spoke to. Says Jenn, “She was rarely seen outside the confines of her own room and seemed to prefer communicating electronically and then, only when absolutely necessary. So you can imagine, she probably stewed on the issue for a very long time. ” (Click the image to enlarge.)

some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

Adds Jenn: Guess how this flexible-thinking roommate paid her bills? “By conducting CULTURAL SENSITIVITY TRAINING COURSES TO CORPORATE EMPLOYEES.”

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · energy usage · lighting · money · roommates · San Francisco · smiley · temperature

Extremely loud and incredibly close quarters

August 6th, 2007 · 70 Comments

Amy in Seattle says her favorite part of the note is the children (Please, think of the children!) but I was most impressed by the use of both “being effected” and “being impacted” in a single sentence. Those loud, “vulgar-related” noises might, in fact, be the sound of English teachers around the world crying out in agony.

Vulgar related?

Then there’s this one, from William over at lowercase l. It was slipped into his mailbox in Brooklyn by a neighbor several years (and girlfriends) ago. considering the awkwardness of the situation, I find it’s actually quite civil. It’s interesting, though, how people feel the need to give elaborate, vaguely scientific justifications (the acoustical properties of the windows, REM sleep) for why they don’t want to hear you getting it on.

Tags: Brooklyn · neighbors · Seattle · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Like a rotten sponge

August 5th, 2007 · 22 Comments

By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

Please stop using the towels to clean stations. I got on a treadmill and the towel smelled like a rotten sponge. Having them used again and again all day must be unhealthy. How about disinfectant wipes or just paper towels. THANK YOU!

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Tags: excessive underlining · gym · Massachusetts · odor

Tantamount to storage

August 3rd, 2007 · 123 Comments

I’m just gonna let Ben from D.C. set this one up:

Last October, I moved from one apartment to another on fairly short notice. The kid I found on Craigslist to take my spot really wanted to move in a few days early, which was incredibly inconvenient for me. However, I agreed, so I spent most of Halloween weekend moving my stuff out. The one thing I couldn’t move was my futon, because it wouldn’t fit on top of my car. I figured he’d give me a little leeway though, since I’d done him a favor, and I came back to pick it up November 10. A week later I came home to find this amazing passive-aggressive e-mail from him:

I have a concern about the removal of your futon.

Tags: a little uptight · Craigslist · D.C. · e-mail · money · moving/not moving · spelling and grammar police