Entries Tagged as 'United States'

“Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day.”

June 15th, 2007 · 30 Comments

From the Bay-area offices of Yahoo! HotJobs

Those programmers…so literal-minded, sometimes.

can u not uz hand lotion in toilet plz? work-wanks r creepy, thnx

(thiz onez fer u, slackferno.)

Tags: bathroom · double-entendre alert · kinda creepy · office · San Francisco · sex sex sex · shameless meme-mongering · toilet · Yahoo

May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

June 14th, 2007 · 93 Comments

My esteemed housemates, I have some unfortunate news to report. It appears that our ongoing experiment to see if the dishes would indeed wash themselves has ended and ultimately failed.

(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)

related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

Tags: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin

Et tu, Dora?

June 13th, 2007 · 20 Comments

Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…

You shouldn't learned this when you were my age, but...Please Be Neat and Wipe the Seat. And please flush!

Tags: a little patronizing · New York · office · toilet

Try a bite.

June 13th, 2007 · 23 Comments

A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?

STOP eating my soup! I know who you are. I'm watching you. I mixed a little OxyPowder in my soup today. Care to find out what that is?? Try a bite.

If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.

Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing

Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 Comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences

There’s a bedroom behind this wall

June 11th, 2007 · 15 Comments

Robert in Sacramento found this one on the wall of his apartment building’s laundry room. Says Robert: “On the surface, I don’t think this sign is too bad. The underlining of “time” and the “thanks a lot!!” at the end push it over the top for me.”

Please Be Considerate of the TIME you do laundry. There's a bedroom behind this door. Thanks a lot!!

Tags: California · laundry · neighbors · Sacramento

$10 each

June 11th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Says Tyler in Boston: “My roommate stopped talking to me after the first month of living together and only communicated via whiteboard.” Or, has his roommate might say, via “whiteboard thing.”

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Tags: Boston · cleaning · excessive underlining · money · roommates · whiteboard

Some suggestions for using the urinal

June 11th, 2007 · 17 Comments

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(from an anonymous urinal-user in Boulder, Colorado.)

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · CAPS LOCK · Colorado · excessive underlining · office · toilet

I guess that’s why

June 10th, 2007 · 7 Comments

This note of course left by “the messiest roommate of them all,” says Kate in Boston.

Dear Apartment — Our old sponge was gross so I guess that why no one likes to do dishes. But we have a new one now! Try it out! <3 Apartment

Tags: Boston · dishes · heart · roommates · sponges

My sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick

June 8th, 2007 · 27 Comments

Explains Desi in New York: “I work in a dungeon —  a “we-do-S&M-here” place — and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak English all that well.” Now that’s a formula for comic gold.

Although the circuitous first sentence here is pretty great, I think the thing I love most about this sign is how terribly average it is. (No clip art of whips and chains, say.) Except for the use of the word “girls,” this wouldn’t be terribly out of place at any other office. (It’s also a nice companion piece to this.)

Calling Out Sick: Unfortunately because so many girls have been calling out sick we have to enforce a new rule of not being able to call out sick. If you are sick you need to find someone to cover your shift (without taking them from another shift). The shifts are already very empty because of planned vacations. You also need to provide us with a valid doctor's note with a telephone number so we can call and confirm. Otherwise, sick or not, you are expected to show up for work on time.

related: Suck on this!

 

Tags: crazy boss · illness · New York · sex sex sex