Entries Tagged as 'United States'

The not-so-friendly skies

June 6th, 2013 · 138 Comments

Writes our submitter in Phoenix: “Apparently, the baggage handlers at Southwest did not appreciate my ‘love note’ baggage tag and felt the need to respond — in permanent marker.”

Quit making your bag so heavy

Adds our submitter: “In my defense, I would like to point out that my bag was 46 lb., which is still under the airline’s weight limit, and I, at 5’2″, had no trouble lifting it.”

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

Tags: airport · most popular notes of 2013 · Phoenix

Wake up, Mixer. You’re in the Matrix.

June 4th, 2013 · 34 Comments

Oh look, another sentient kitchen appliance. This time, with allergies.

Please clean me when you get me dirty! I'm allergic to crusty waffle batter/potatoes...it makes me itchy and irritable...I don't like it. Ahh! A talking Mixer!! There is mixer; there is only Zuul! Silence! I kill you! <3 The Mixer Wake up, Mixer. You're in the Matrix.

(As spotted by Julie in her Provo, Utah college cafeteria.)

related: The very needy dishwasher

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · Provo · smartass

Drink my Coca-Cola…and the terrorists win

June 1st, 2013 · 71 Comments

Ana in Kentucky spotted this epic on the faculty fridge at the school where she works.

Dear Coke-I-leave-on-the-door-thief, As a child who grew up in the depression era, I come from humble beginnings. I have learned to take pleasures in the simple things in life; the river, the trees in spring, the wonderment in children's eyes...As I move forward through another morning, my caffeine deprived brain and I ponder silently the consequences of your actions. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? As a part time Aid and Para Professional, my compensation for said duties is not as lucrative or rewarding as the joy my heart feels when a student finally reaches their potential academically, spiritually, and emotionally. I beg you, kind sir or ma'am, to consider the effects your actions have on my ability to produce God-fearing citizens of this democracy. May I suggest that you help yourself to any of the half-empty Sprite bottles or outdated rotten apples that I tend to leave in the same general vicinity as my valued Coke product? May you never feel the pain of eating peanut butter at 10am and having nothing to drink except something called

related: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.

Tags: Coke · Kentucky · Louisville · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · schools & teachers · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?

Sincerely, Plastic Bag

May 29th, 2013 · 86 Comments

I know this note has like, a lot of words in it, but seriously, all I see is wah wah wah.

An open letter to refrigerate-ers: Okay....YOU. The one who has a thermally-efficient backpack of a lunch bag. Really? Really? I bet's it's totally convenient, because no matter what you are bringing for lunch, you've got enough room in that thing, amiright? Plus it probably keeps your stuff nice and cool; yeah, specially designed for that. Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that you are going through airport security. If TSA size regulations require that your put that thing through the baggage scanner by itself, it probably doesn't belong in a refrigerator. I promise you there is enough empty space in there to hold an ice pack, which will get your leftovers through the lean hours between home and lunch quite nicely. I know this, because every time I have to extract it and plan an impromptu solo game of countertop Jenga, just so I can see into the refrigerator to find my super thin grocery store plastic bag with only my cold items it in, I can tell you've maybe used half the space you are taking up. Friendly suggestion...go on using that thing to keep your tasty morsels cold on the way to work, maybe even at your desk, but consider adding a more reasonably-sized extra layer of container around the guts inside of the monster, and putting that smaller package in the community refrigerator. (There are Sharpies in the supply closet if you need visual cues which lunch bundle is yours.) Bonus - less material in here makes it colder for everyone. That can of Coke you've got tastes better when it's had room to breathe.

related: Dear “Desperate for Salad”

Tags: Chicago · office fridge · TL;DR

Over the (top) rainbow

May 27th, 2013 · 65 Comments

Writes Tom in Cleveland: “In the parking garage of my apartment building, some B parked in assigned spot 144, which belonged to another B, who then covered B1′s Jeep in harshly-worded notes on multi-colored construction paper.”

DISLIKE This person parked in my spot. Inconsiderate much? I had to park 3 blocks away just so a person could park in a spot I paid for. I'm posting pics of your car info on social media. I have 20,000+ followers. Don't worry...I called management. Leopard print? Try the Jersey Shore!!!

related: It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Cleveland · parking · public shaming

Happily ever after

May 22nd, 2013 · 51 Comments

Loree in Texas found this crumpled Post-it note in her front yard. “Why the husband threw this gem away boggles the mind, but I am so glad it ended up where it did.”

Passed out twice in one week. Wow. At least you're not in underwear and socks this time —Your Proud Wife

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: drizzunk · love & marriage · Texas

Tacky, you say?

May 15th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “Colleague A left the following note — an attempt to enforce an ambigious personal space decoration policy via shame — on Colleague B’s Eiffel Tower clip. (Note: Colleague A has no official authority over Colleague B.) I find the phrasing both poetic and hilarious.”

THIS EIFFEL TOWER IS TACKY. DON'T PUT IT ON TOP.

related: Do not lean on my pod!!!

Tags: a matter of taste · Chicago · office · office cop

Keeping Portland Weird

May 14th, 2013 · 52 Comments

Our submitter has been couchsurfing his way through the living rooms of strangers across the country, and recently made a stop in Portland, Oregon. One morning, after leaving his dirty clothes in a pile near the rest of his stuff, he returned later to find…a surprise.

Adds our submitter: “Everyone in Portland seems to do things like this. All. The. Time.”

I wasn't sure if it would be weird of me to wash your underwear, so I folded them too — just to make sure.

related: Put a bird on it! 

Tags: laundry · most popular notes of 2013 · not so much passive-aggressive · Portland · questionable logic · WTF?

Trading up

May 8th, 2013 · 62 Comments

This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.

Justin, Would you be willing to move out? My friend Mark is looking to move to Berkeley & it would be awesome if he could live here. He's planning on coming June 20th ish. -Lenny

related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.

Tags: Berkeley · moving/not moving · roommates

The crap we put up with for marriage…

May 6th, 2013 · 24 Comments

Our submitter spotted this twist on a well-worn trope in the Potrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.

My wife is not allowing me to release the video to you tube featuring your dog POOPING in front of our house and you neglecting to pick it up!!!! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR POOP or you may cause problems with my marriage. Thank You!!!

related: Do you know these dogs???

Tags: dogs · love & marriage · San Francisco · shit