Entries Tagged as 'United States'

A pre-emptive strike

May 2nd, 2013 · 44 Comments

Eddy shares a house in Providence, Rhode Island with his sister. “We’re both busy with school and work,” Eddy says, “so we take turns cleaning the bathroom.” Well, sort of. “I usually put it off for weeks,” Eddy admits.

Dear Eddy, Thank you for taking the time out of your busy week to clean the bathroom. I have bought cleaning supplies for your endeavor. ? Carissa

Adds Eddy: “By the way, the heart translates loosely to ‘I’ll f’ing kill you.’”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · family · Providence · thanks (but not really)

Just to watch him die

May 1st, 2013 · 72 Comments

Nicole used to live in Reno, Nevada. Unless you’ve lived there, Nicole says, “then you can’t fully understand what a straaaange place it is, but this note might help.” She found it about four years ago in personals section of the Pennysaver. Four years later, Nicole says, “I still feel a joyous bewilderment upon reading it. I can’t wait to show it to my grandkids some day.”

ATTENTION: ALL CASINO WORKERS AND SHOW PEOPLE! Message from Teddy Williams. What kind of a

related: You’re toast, Melba.

Tags: crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2013 · Nevada · newspaper · TL;DR · WTF?

The Paper Towel Apocalypse

April 29th, 2013 · 50 Comments

It you want people to actually pay attention to your bathroom signage, it’s go big or go home. This one certainly made Jennifer in Tennessee take notice.

Ladies, Please do not put any paper/plastic products in the toilet paper other than toilet paper (ie paper towels, feminine hygiene products, etc). This is hugely important as these toilets are directly connected to the epicenter of the planet earth and the world will end is a cataclysmic explosion of apocalyptic proportions if anything, other than toilet paper, is placed inside. We have provided these cute, little silver trash cans for your convenience...and to help you save the world from certain destruction. Thank you.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: all clogged up · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · Tennessee · toilet

The don of donut discipline

April 28th, 2013 · 144 Comments

Don is the organizer of a doughnut co-op in his Chicago office, in which each co-worker takes a turn bringing in doughnuts every Friday to share with the rest of the group. “One of my co-workers is notorious for cutting doughnuts in half and leaving the other half behind in the box,” Don says, “which annoys some of the other members of the co-op. Apparently a co-worker felt that I was failing to maintain doughnut discipline and took it upon himself to post this warning.”

Adds Don: “Half-doughnuts are no longer showing up.”

Bad: Thinking of cutting a donut. Worse: Actually cutting a donut. Worst: Cutting a donut and leaving the other half behind. Better: Cutting a donut and throwing the other half away. Best: Eat the whole damn donut!

related: The Office Breakroom Nibbler

Tags: Chicago · etiquette · food · most popular notes of 2013 · office

Break the wrist, walk away

April 22nd, 2013 · 27 Comments

Rob in Dallas says this note appeared “after the martial arts ‘gym’ closed down unexpectedly.” (Full disclosure: I have no idea what “gym” is supposed to imply.)

Warning to the few good people here. A lying phoney bastard called Hawkins was teaching martial arts upstairs. If you meet this scumbag don't sign any papers the asswhole [sic] teaches nothing but shit

P.S. I’m sure I’m not alone in picturing Hawkins like this:

Rex Kwon Do

related: Peter, professional tattoo artist and assistant instructor of Japanese swordsmanship

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · spelling and grammar police · warning · WTF?

Hellfire & arthritis

April 21st, 2013 · 45 Comments

An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?

You stole my sunflowers? God punished you with ARTHRITIS! Cheers!

(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · God · Los Angeles · stealing

The naked truth

April 18th, 2013 · 56 Comments

Writes Nick in New York: “Those of you who have ever lived alone will remember the feeling of liberation and wild abandon that comes with getting your first solo space after a lifetime of family and crazy roommates.”

He continues: ”Unfortunately, I’ve got neighbors across a very narrow alley (about 6 feet across) and all our windows face each other. When I first moved in I noticed their shades were always down so I carried on with the kinds of things mid-20s guys do when they live alone. I have no idea what they had an opportunity to see, but it was enough to inspire them to post this note on all three windows. Whoops?”

To The New Neighbor Dear Neighbor: Welcome to the building. Given the close proximity of our windows and out of respect for each others' privacy, we would ask that you please pull your shade down to a reasonable height. Thank you.

related: Buy curtains. Please.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · New York

Are you a jerk turkey?

April 8th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Emptying the lint trap at the laundromat has never really bothered me, personally. At least one person in Denver, however, seems to mind a whole lot.

Casting Call! Audition! Are you a jerk turkey? An ass hat, and an all around D-bag? We're looking for YOU. Maybe you don't put the seat down after you use the bathroom.  Maybe you eat other people's food, or stiff people on their tip.  Or, MAYBE YOU DON'T EMPTY YOUR NASTY LINT TRAP AFTER DOING YOUR NASTY LAUNDRY.  Are you proud of being a dick? Celebrate! Rejoice in your complete idiocy, and lack of general consideration! We'll all be looking on in admiration as we scrape your disgusting dead skin cells and your stupid dogs hair out of your f***ing lint trap. It's lovely. Thank you for that.  CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF, PIGS.

related: There’s no spitting in laundry.

Tags: Denver · laundry · neighbors

Paranoid much?

April 3rd, 2013 · 89 Comments

Our submitter in Texas said she found the first note “while trying to rearrange a kitchen cabinet that is completely dominated by my roommate’s freakishly large collection of stale old teas.” (A coffee person herself, she’s never “borrowed” any.) But the best part, she says? “This lead me to poke around the apartment and uncover several similar notes. Cheers, roomie!”

Like LITERALLY ALL OF MY FOOD, this, too is not for sharing. Ask first!

Buy your own rice, for f-ck's sake!

You have no reason to be in this drawer. buy your own eye serum; we talked about this.

related: My duh-runk roommate

Tags: roommates · stealing · Texas

Holy hydrangeas, Batman!

April 2nd, 2013 · 96 Comments

Stephen in Eugene, Oregon rode by this house on his bike and was a block away before he realized he had to go back and take a photo for posterity. “I question who is the good neighbor here,” Stephan says. “I suspect this is about more than just the hydrangeas. But maybe they just really want room to park another car on the lawn.”

BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! :) Remove the OVERGROWN TREE!

related: And bad fences make bad neighbors?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · Oregon · public shaming