Entries Tagged as 'United States'

A Warning Chime

February 6th, 2013 · 118 Comments

Adriana in Playa Del Rey, California said her husband found this note from a non-wind chime enthusiast taped to their outside of their condo building. “I personally love all the exclamation points,” Adriana says — “especially the cheery ‘thanks!’ at the bottom.”

CHIMES. Third Floor Front Over the Garage. People have lived here 10-20 years but now have to hear your chimes all day and night! Take them down or we will get a class action lawsuit against you and the Homeowners association! We can't stand it anymore! Have consideration or we will see you in court and get a court order! Thanks!

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats

The Message on the Milk Carton

February 4th, 2013 · 71 Comments

Explains Johnny in Alabama: “My friend Lauren left this for my brother Jared when she let him stay at her house for a few weeks. Every day she would come home and have a glass of milk and iced coffee. One day, she discovered that Jared had emptied the milk once already and had replaced it with milk from the gas station. It wasn’t the ‘weird expensive milk that she buys,’ and to make matters worse, he hadn’t checked the expiration date. The second time it happened he accidentally put the empty carton back in the fridge and came home later to find this note” — complete with a ‘hidden’ message.

Friday I walked into the house after a long day at work. It had been a great day  until I entered the kitchen, at which point I found that the milk was gone. Who  could have done this? I had just bought that milk yesterday! When I left it in the  kitchen I'd even written my name on it. You were the only person in the house, sir. I know it was you that left me to drink  orange juice. I am not mad, just disappointed. Fortunately for you, I am a kind and  understanding friend, and I only ask that you replace what you've taken.  BUY MORE MILK AND IT BETTER BE ORGANIC NOT THAT SHIT YOU GOT AT THE GAS STATION LAST TIME.

related: The Boy Who Drank All The Milk

Tags: Alabama · milk · most popular notes of 2013

Please, no, anything but emo!

January 31st, 2013 · 21 Comments

Emmet in Phoenix says that at his office, “people donate magazines for others to peruse, but sometimes they grow legs and disappear.” Emmet recently found this (totally metal) back-and-forth about the issue…on the issues themselves.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

related: The Hot Topic at this Year’s Warped Tour

extra credit: These Babies Are Totally Metal [youtube]

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · band · music · not-so-veiled threats · office · Phoenix

A formal declaration of the “Man Rules”

January 30th, 2013 · 136 Comments

“Frankly, I find this a little bit ridiculous,” says our submitter in Ohio, “but then again, I’m not a man.”

I feel the need to post this note due to the continuous breeching of what I call common sense of

related: Urinal Games

Tags: Cincinnati · etiquette · most popular notes of 2013 · spelling and grammar police · toilet

A call for ceasefire in the Post-it Note Wars

January 29th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Could one final Sticky-Note Bomb be enough to put an end to months of guerilla-style passive-aggression?

Next time you have a problem with me skip the Post-it and fucking ask. Thank you. We will not have this prob again.

related: The Post-It Wars

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · North Carolina · roommates

How’s that for a group effort?

January 25th, 2013 · 57 Comments

Erin in Los Angeles says it all started with a simple “No staples, please.” Then the whole office got involved.

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned No Papals Please (pictures of popes) No Staples Please (picture of the Staples Center) No Strapless Plese (picture of a strapless bra) No Naples Please (picture of Italy) No Staples Please (picture of food staples) Yes, PayPal Please.

No Marla Maples Please No Stables Please (picture of the nativity) No Capers Please (picture of the Great Muppet Caper)

No Gay Bulls Please (picture of bull in high heels with a boa) Yes, Draper Please! (Don Draper) No Biebers Please (Justin) No Stray Pills Please (Pills)

No Stray Pills Please. No Stay Pulls Please. No Scalpels Please

No Caples Please (faucet variety) No Steeples please No Pastels Please (Pastels is an anagram of Staples) No Pleats Please (same as pastels) Go Maple Leafs! No Staple Singers Please No Solid Gold Dancers Please

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · office · smartass

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

The Office LOL Police

January 18th, 2013 · 35 Comments

As it turns out, at least one study has shown that laughter in the workplace can actually improve productivity.

Of course, that didn’t help our submitter in St. Louis from totally freaking out when she found this anonymous note on her desk at her “conservative” office, where she says that although silence pretty much reigns, “I giggle and talk loudly all the time.”

I'm worried that you are laughing too much and not getting enough work completed. Sincerely, A Concerned Neighbor

Our submitter later found out that the note was a “prank” from a friendly coworker. (But — paranoia alert — was it completely in jest, or a p-a power play?)

related: To my coworker, the thundering cow

Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · noise · office · St. Louis

The Craft Services DTs

January 16th, 2013 · 47 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.

To the hilarious slob who left the mess in the kitchen, good one! Ha ha! LOL! However, I ask you, are you bored with your job? Do you not have enough to do? You must have some spare time as you seemed to have gone out of your way to make such a mess. Or, maybe you have too much to do, so much that you don't have the time to clean up. From either scenario, I can deduce that you likely have a time management problem. You need to dig deep down inside and determine the root of the problem.

related: Dear Desperate for Salad

Tags: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR

So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 Comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Tags: cheese · don't blame us · New York