Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Talkin’ trash

October 15th, 2012 · 47 Comments

Our submitter, a college student in Texas, says this note appeared just two weeks into the fall semester. “I’m excited to see what gets posted a few weeks from now when nothing changes,” she adds.

In the meantime, can somebody get this kid a thesaurus?

Dear Residents of Level 4, Pick up your motherfucking trash and take it down to the motherfucking dumpster. Quit being such disrespectful assholes, and lazy Fat fucks and just drive your fucking trash down to the TRASH CAN. I swear to god I will shove a broom up your ass if you don't start keeping up after yourselves. You are a motherfucking slob. Sincerely, I fucking hate you

related: Kiss your mother with that mouth?

 

Tags: college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · that's disrespectful

Lemme break it down for you

October 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Ashleigh says her apartment complex in Gainesville, Florida is “notoriously slow” when it comes to repairs. Apparently, some of her neighbors got tired of waiting.

Just a 'little' reminder our stove is broke! We do enjoy the free dinner the past 2 nights though

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Florida · landlords and property managers · stove

It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 Comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing

Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking

Just google it.

October 2nd, 2012 · 36 Comments

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc.   Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks.   For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...

Well, that’s a bit rude.

September 30th, 2012 · 67 Comments

Emily in Texas remembers her parents being convinced she was most uncouth child ever born — they even sent her to etiquette school to clean up her act. Well, she got a rude reminder of those days when she found this birthday card in the back of her closet.

Dear Daughter, We wish you [a] very Happy 7th Birthday and hope you will make us proud of you by doing everything better [particularly] on your [manners]. from Mom & Dad

related: Happy Valentine’s Day from Mom

Tags: birthday · etiquette · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · Texas

FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching

(Willpower not provided)

September 25th, 2012 · 32 Comments

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

Blueberry Cheesecake for Whoever Wants Some. I'm totally intimidated by this cheesecake. Will someone please eat it so I can use the breakroom!

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

Tags: cake · Jacksonville · office

The Shark Week Scriptures

September 16th, 2012 · 58 Comments

Spotted by Rebecca in a women’s dorm at an evangelical college in St. Louis, Missouri…

Jesus shed his blood for me, so you don't have to as well. Wrap your pad! P.S. We know who you are, nasty!

related post:

What Would Jesus Steal?

Tags: bathroom · bodily fluids · college life · hygiene · Jesus · message to all intended for one · St. Louis · that's disgusting · TMI

Mug Shot

September 12th, 2012 · 56 Comments

I’ll start with the moral of the story first: “It just goes to show you that passive aggressive notes are funny but not effective.” That observation comes courtesy of Janell in San Francisco, who admits that she penned the following note after her third coffee mug went missing from the office kitchen.

Explains Janell: “While a lot of people commented on the note, my mug never appeared. After six months passed, my boss bought me an identical mug just so I would take the note down. A year later, one of my co-workers quit. We found the mug in his office.”

Have You Seen This Mug? My Starbucks blue and white San Francisco mug was last seen on Friday morning, Jan. 21st in the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. The mug loves maple brown sugar oatmeal and attending morning meetings.  If found, please wash and return to the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. Mug, if you can read this, I miss you! Please come home soon.

related: Justice, with a side of fries

extra credit: The Anti-Theft “Plug Mug”

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · office · San Francisco · stealing