Entries Tagged as 'United States'

How’s that for a group effort?

January 25th, 2013 · 57 Comments

Erin in Los Angeles says it all started with a simple “No staples, please.” Then the whole office got involved.

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned No Papals Please (pictures of popes) No Staples Please (picture of the Staples Center) No Strapless Plese (picture of a strapless bra) No Naples Please (picture of Italy) No Staples Please (picture of food staples) Yes, PayPal Please.

No Marla Maples Please No Stables Please (picture of the nativity) No Capers Please (picture of the Great Muppet Caper)

No Gay Bulls Please (picture of bull in high heels with a boa) Yes, Draper Please! (Don Draper) No Biebers Please (Justin) No Stray Pills Please (Pills)

No Stray Pills Please. No Stay Pulls Please. No Scalpels Please

No Caples Please (faucet variety) No Steeples please No Pastels Please (Pastels is an anagram of Staples) No Pleats Please (same as pastels) Go Maple Leafs! No Staple Singers Please No Solid Gold Dancers Please

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · office · smartass

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

The Office LOL Police

January 18th, 2013 · 35 Comments

As it turns out, at least one study has shown that laughter in the workplace can actually improve productivity.

Of course, that didn’t help our submitter in St. Louis from totally freaking out when she found this anonymous note on her desk at her “conservative” office, where she says that although silence pretty much reigns, “I giggle and talk loudly all the time.”

I'm worried that you are laughing too much and not getting enough work completed. Sincerely, A Concerned Neighbor

Our submitter later found out that the note was a “prank” from a friendly coworker. (But — paranoia alert — was it completely in jest, or a p-a power play?)

related: To my coworker, the thundering cow

Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · noise · office · St. Louis

The Craft Services DTs

January 16th, 2013 · 47 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.

To the hilarious slob who left the mess in the kitchen, good one! Ha ha! LOL! However, I ask you, are you bored with your job? Do you not have enough to do? You must have some spare time as you seemed to have gone out of your way to make such a mess. Or, maybe you have too much to do, so much that you don't have the time to clean up. From either scenario, I can deduce that you likely have a time management problem. You need to dig deep down inside and determine the root of the problem.

related: Dear Desperate for Salad

Tags: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR

So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 Comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Tags: cheese · don't blame us · New York

Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 Comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

Tags: bathroom · Boston · hair · office

Yelp, indeed!

January 8th, 2013 · 56 Comments

Writes our submitter, “Bob L,” in California: “I posted a negative review on Yelp of a local business. Next time I came in, I saw this note posted on their bulletin board. Glad I didn’t use my real name!”

Bob L. From Yelp, When you grow up or grow a pair, you know where to find me! Unlike you, I don't hide behind the internet!!

related: “The bathrooms are the best thing about this restaurant.”

extra credit: Portlandia “Bad Yelp review” [youtube]

Tags: "customer service" · California · posted online

The City of Brotherly Littering

January 7th, 2013 · 18 Comments

“Understand,” writes Beck in Philadelphia, “I love this city. Filth and all.” But he also had to give props to this guerilla PSA — done in the style of the Philly Tourism Board’s “with love” ad campaign — adding, “I regret not actually being able to photograph all the trash that really was on the ground.”

Dear Citizens, Thanks for expecting everyone else to clean up your litter. With Love, Philadelphia xoxo

related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!

Tags: heart · littering · Philadelphia · signed with love · xoxo

Enjoy the holidays (without me)

December 27th, 2012 · 29 Comments

While at his parents’ house in Indiana for Christmas, Jay says his mother passed this card around to everyone, saying, “Can you believe this?!” The awkward part: Terry (not that Terry) is their next-door neighbor.

Sorry we have lost touch- I guess I have to accept you not wanting to be friends anyomore. Enjoy the holidays-  Janet and Lee, Wishing you jolly holidays and a great new year! Have a wonderful season and all the best in the New Year.  -Terry

related: Happy Holidays! So glad we’re not together!

 

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Indiana · neighbors

Is this a toilet?

December 19th, 2012 · 54 Comments

Apparently, when is comes to judging the average person’s ability to correctly assess, “Should I urinate here?” you really can’t be too careful.

In the interest of health these toilets have been sealed. DO NOT USE!!!

Due to persons repeatedly urinating in the elevator, it has been turned off until further notice. If you have any information about the persons responsible, please contact Bill in Centennial 144. Your honesty will be appreciated and will lead to a speedy return of the elevator. Fun Fact: You and your roommate share a bathroom with your suitemates. In this bathroom there should be a toilet. If you are missing a toilet, please call the Fix-It Line at x4687

Health Notice Toilet Issues The Tanning Room is not a Restroom!  It is extremely dangerous for A Total Tan employees to clean up trash cans and under rugs that people have used instead of the public toilet. This will no longer be tolerated!  A Total Tan has a computer record of everyone using each tanning room. In the future, using the tanning room as a toilet will not be tolerated. This will be very embarrassing to you!  It is not embarrassing for us to restart your bed if you need to stop before or during your session. Simply put on your clothes and ask the employee to stop your session.

Especially, it seems, in Chicago — as witnessed by both Julie and Whitney. Although, “To be fair,” Whitney adds, “the entire city seems to be fair game for public urination.”

ObviouslyPlease do not USE this bathroom! I thought the lack of a door indicated that fact, obviously I was wrong.I was wrong

Please - this is not a toilet

related: What is it about thrift store fitting rooms?!

extra credit: Street art by ELBOW-TOE

This is not a urinal.

Tags: Chicago · piss · toilet