Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Teacher says, every time a bell rings…

November 20th, 2012 · 39 Comments

“There have been a lot of missionaries coming to our apartment building lately,” our submitter says, and apparently the occupants of Unit 307 have had enough of it. Adds our submitter: “I thought the Jesus Band-aids were a nice touch.”

Ringing this bell and/or knocking WILL result in signing your sell off to Satan. Blessings, #307

related: You will be CURSED if you wake my sleeping baby!

Tags: California · God · Jesus · knocking

Pumpkin Spice & Minnesota Nice

November 14th, 2012 · 19 Comments

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

enjoy. Tastes better than it smells then why don't you drink it :) Now now children I AM NOT A CHILD!! sounds like somebody has mommy issues

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · note wars · office · smartass · smiley · tea

Let them eat Almond Milk!

November 13th, 2012 · 61 Comments

“We believe in a generous America, in a compassionate America, in a tolerant America…We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and forever will be, the United States of America.” —President Obama, in his election-night acceptance speech

Meanwhile, in Rochester Hills, Michigan:

This is the last time I will donate anything to any charity. It's Obama's problem not mine.

Rob says this anonymous note was attached to a canned good collected his son’s Boy Scout Troop. “I’m not sure what type of ‘adult’ deems a canned food drive for the less fortunate as a worthy platform for spewing political vitriol to the Boy Scouts who collected the food, but one can only hope that the next four years brings prosperity for everyone except this self-righteous idiot.”

related post: ¡Bienvenido! Mi casa no es su casa.

extra credit: The 20 Biggest Sore Losers of Election Night [salon.com]

Intel, UPS halt funding to Boy Scouts Over Anti-Gay Discrimination [AP]

Tags: heartwarming compassion · Michigan · most popular notes of 2012 · politics · unsolicited feedback

There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

November 8th, 2012 · 37 Comments

“How low do you have to go to steal flowers from someone’s grave?” wonders Ash in East Lansing, Michigan.

Please do not steal my father's flowers again. He did not do anything to you. Shame!

At the very least, I suppose, you’ve have to be someone untroubled by the prospect of being publicly chided or privately haunted. In Providence, Rhode Island, Moira noticed that the flowers at this memorial had very recently been dug up again.

To the Person(s) who has stolen the flowers from this bench at least twice this summer: These flowers were placed as a rememberance of Sheryl Jacobson and Maggie who are memorialized by this bench.  They were donated by a private person for the enjoyment of everyone who uses the park. You are not stealing from the city, but from the people who care about the beauty of this park. Shame on you! May the spirits of Sheryl and Maggie haunt you for your selfishness.

related: Rolling over in his grave

extra credit: “Man arrested for stealing flowers off graves to give to girlfriend”

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · kinda creepy · Michigan · public shaming · stealing

So what you’re telling me is to pay at the pump?

November 7th, 2012 · 59 Comments

Writes Tim in Jacksonville, Florida: “Apparently people on the Westside don’t process instructions very well.”

An alternative explanation: People at the Westside Winn-Dixie don’t utilize bold type very well.

Pay at the pump is down. If you remove this sign pay at the pump is still down. If you pull to a different pump. Pay at the pump is still down. Bring your card to the attendant Thank you

related: Pain at the pump

Tags: "customer service" · gas station · Jacksonville

Election fatigue

November 5th, 2012 · 91 Comments

I’ve done some political canvassing before — once in Columbus, Ohio — and in my experience, it was no fun for anyone involved. But don’t worry, kids. It’ll all be over soon.

From Minnesota…

Yes - we're voting. No - we won't be discussing who we are voting for. Yes - I know where our polling place is. No - I'm not telling you if we support or oppose the marriage amendment or school refferendum [sic]. Please don't leave campaign documents.  Thank you!

And Columbus, Ohio…

ES, I am voting for OBAMA, and YES, I know where to VOTE. So please don't knock on my door. P.S. I don't want to hear about the MORMON faith, either. Have a wonderful day.

related: Politics, Masshole-style

extra credit: Do you know where you f’ing polling place is?

Tags: Minnesota · Ohio · politics

Peed off.

November 1st, 2012 · 79 Comments

Writes Jenny in San Diego: “There are four of these identical laminated signs posted at face height around the tiny front lawn of a house in my neighborhood. The lawn actually would look fine if it weren’t for the rude signs.”

Keep your bitches from urinating on the lawn. They are killing the grass.

related post:
Caught in the act
DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??

Tags: dogs · neighbors · piss · San Diego

Reason for Sale: Can’t Stand the Neighbors

October 26th, 2012 · 40 Comments

“To be fair,” says Loren in Ypsilanti, Michigan,“the owner does live on a popular dog-walking street. The trees are also gigantic, so I’m sure they have a ton of leaves to rake in the fall. Still, this seems a little harsh.”

Reason for sale; Can't stand the neighbors, sick of raking leafs [sic]. Hate the endless dog walking pissing on my property. Would rather live in a box then spend another year in Ypsi. I am a lifelong resident in this crappy town. Need a good house? My house is very clean. Leave a message. $200,000 firm.

related: House for rent — we have mold and roaches!

Tags: dogs · Michigan · neighbors · Ypsilanti

(We don’t speak dog)

October 25th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“About five months ago,” writes Catherine in Massachusetts, a new tenant moved in and began a new exercise regime: running back and forth in the building hallways. “His/her gait is rather lumbering and resonates throughout our apartment,” Catherine says. “We were startled at first, but have come to giggle over this frequent disruption. Apparently, one of our neighbors isn’t laughing.”

To the runner - please STOP RUNNING in the hallway To everyone else - if you're as annoyed as I am at the running, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk with him.

From there, things began to escalate. “Fortunately,” Catherine says, the ensuing flame war “just goes to show that most of our neighbors have a great sense of humor.”

To the adult-children: PLEASE GROW UP (you live in an apartment building) To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the adult-children in the apartment - please ignore them until they speak to you directly about their issues, like adults...  To the dogs - please STOP YELLING AT US IN THE HALLWAY (we don't speak dog) To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the dog language in the hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about whose doing it. THey want to talk to the dog rif-raf.  To the adults - please STOP HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the enjoyment of life in our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to them.  To the residents - Please STOP USING THE HALLWAY To everyone else -  If you are as annoyed as I am at the use of our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it.  They want to talk to everyone.   To all the children- please: STOP CRYING, SQUEALING, WHINING, ACTING UP IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the crying, squealing, whining and acting up, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to her.

related: The very delicate elevator

Tags: dogs · kids · Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · note wars · smartass

Who are you calling trash?

October 17th, 2012 · 46 Comments

Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”

The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”

Box is trash Trashcan in box is not trash (Trash in trashcan in box is trash)

related: Hey, that garbage was important!

Tags: California · garbage · office · Say wha?