Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Soda shaming

August 23rd, 2012 · 48 Comments

Well, now that dog shaming is officially a thing…

I wasn’t invited to Shakespeare in the Park so I ate all the Shakespeare off the bookshelf.

…it was really only a matter of time before we moved onto the shaming of non-sentient beings.

I am a FRAUD. I hid in the slot where Dr. pepper is supposed to be so that someone has to buy me and drink my horrible flavor. She took two drinks, cursed me, and made me wear this note in shame.

related: Nutranot-so-sweet

Tags: beverages · public shaming · San Antonio · vending machine drama

I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

August 16th, 2012 · 36 Comments

Rita in Utah was on the phone when her daughter handed her this note (less than a month into the school year). Says Rita: “I love how she tries to ‘soften the blow!’”

Dear Mommy, I Love You...but I want to buy school lunch tomoroe [sic]. thank you!

Gold star, kiddo. There are some adults who could take some note-writing pointers from you.

related: When kids “punish” their parents with the silent treatment

Tags: food · kids · Mother-daughter notes · not so much passive-aggressive · Utah

Please stop hectoring the coffee creamer! (You’re hurting its feelings.)

August 13th, 2012 · 118 Comments

If you work in an office that supplies your cream and sugar needs gratis, consider yourself lucky. There’s something about coffee creamer that sends folks off the deep end…

Apparently in some unknown language my name means "help yourself to my creamer without permission and ignore the part where it reads don't touch!"

P.S. If you’ve thought of a different tactic, it’s probably been tried before.

BREAST MILK Drink at your own risk

related: Coffee, mate?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · office fridge · Orlando · stealing

If you’ve worked in retail, you can probably relate

August 8th, 2012 · 114 Comments

Writes Stephanie in Houston: “Looks like someone got a little tired of folding shirts.”

SHIRTS ALL SIZE LARGE ALL JUST ALIKE

related: Thanks for NOT shopping here!

Tags: Houston · retail hell

The companion sport to Olympic race walking?

August 7th, 2012 · 31 Comments

Because dribbling isn’t such a useful skill outside of basketball…

The Olympics have started and we get to witness inspirational athletic accomplishments each day. Against this back drop, surely we as a team of professionals on the 14th floor can CONSISTENTLY HIT THE URINAL! It is not that hard folks. If for some reason you struggle (and clearly at least one us struggles every day), just sit down. This is disgusting and it is within our ability to keep the place clean.

Somehow I don’t think suggesting people sit down at the urinal is the answer, though.

Perhaps something a bit more Olympic in spirit?

related: Well, that seems (uri)logical enough

extra credit: Urinal Games [youtube.com]

Tags: office · piss · Pittsburgh · toilet

Spilled Milk Carton Kids

August 3rd, 2012 · 23 Comments

Karen in Madison, Wisconsin says her daughter left this note on the fridge sometime between midnight and 6:30 am:

If you are going to leave an open bottle of milk on its side in the fridge, make sure the cap is ALL the way on!!! I'm angry with you. >:(

The following afternoon, her brother came back with this:

*ATTENTION* If you ever want to see your milk cap again place 100 dollars in the envelope below

related: Lactose Intolerance

Tags: family · Madison · milk

The not-so-laid-back part of Portland

July 30th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”

Dear Neighbor, Please extend the courtesy of ringing my doorbell and speaking to me before calling Parking Enforcement again. Thank you, Terri

related: How NOT to get out of a parking ticket

Tags: neighbors · parking · Portland · the po-po

So if you know anyone who cares about their pets…

July 25th, 2012 · 449 Comments

Here’s how Connie explains the situation: “I’m selling my house and moving to a new town. I’ve had an outdoor cat for almost five years, and she doesn’t do well indoors. Since it looks like I’ll end up in an apartment for the first year, I’m trying to find a new home for her. I made the mistake of asking a coworker who is passionate about his pets — seriously, he loves them more than people — and I thought he was just having a little fun with me when he bashed me for ‘throwing her away.’ I laughed and just told him to ask around and let me know.”

Here’s how Connie’s coworker chose to do that:

Connie is abandoning her pet cat even though it was a very loyal pet many years and its probably going to end up on a shelter.    So if you know anyone who cares about their pets and has room for one more, please let her know.  Thanks,  Brian

related: Sorry, my friends don’t eat cat.

extra credit: The saga of the passive-aggressive “lost cat” poster 

Tags: cats · e-mail · frenemies · guilt trip · self-righteous vegans · South Carolina

This sign now promotes poor problem-solving skills

July 24th, 2012 · 28 Comments

Sarah in Grand Rapids, Michigan says there are actually more words on this “replacement” lawn sign than there were on the original. Good thing the writer is putting those extra words to work for a good cause, huh?

This sign used to promote the Summer reading program for children until someone stole it

related: This flamingo has flown

Tags: Grand Rapids · Michigan · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

Warning: This pool contain dihydrogen monoxide!

July 23rd, 2012 · 21 Comments

Apparently, Von says, somebody at the Homeowners Association got fed up with kids swimming in and jumping off of a decorative fountain at the neighborhood swimming pool, so the Board of Directors put up this sign. “The funny part,” he says, “is that the water from the fountain flows directly into the actual pool.”  (No word on how long it took the kids to figure that one out.)

Heavy Chemicals in Fountain Pool May Cause Severe Burns or Death

And then there’s this…

This is posted at the city pool. The children now live in fear.

related: Small-town Swimming Pool Rules

Tags: kids · Mississippi · swimming pool