Entries Tagged as 'United States'

More to come on that in the DSM V

May 15th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Explains Kevin in Los Angeles: ”The hospital basement has a corridor lined with call rooms assigned to the residents from various medical specialties. While the department of medicine easily surpasses all other specialties in number of reserved rooms, they have started squatting in other rooms as well. It looks like the psych residents were not pleased by this antisocial behavior.”

Psychiatry residents take overnight in-house call every day just like medicine. Please do not use this call room if you are not part of the Psychiatry department. THANK YOU!! [WE ALSO HAVE AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX, BUT MORE ON THAT IN THE DSM V.]

related: A little bit of psycho-therapy

Tags: California · hospitals & doctors · shrinks

A diarrhea-only toilet?

May 10th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Well, this is a new one.

“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”

Notice: Due to plumbing issues, please use this stall for

related: How you say diarrhea politely?

Tags: Illinois · most popular notes of 2012 · shit · toilet

This discombobulation will not stand.

May 7th, 2012 · 30 Comments

“While stopping for our millionth potty break,” a road-tripping Rachel from Atlanta pondered the circumstances that could have inspired this intolerable discombobulation at a Tennessee gas station. “I don’t know what happened,” she says, “but that’s a hell of a lot of exclamation marks!!!”

Discombobulation of the cooler will no longer be tollerated [sic]!!! If you to STOCK or DELIVER, YOU will take out your trash and keep it NICE AND CLEAN!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

p.s. dis·com·bob·u·la·tion, noun — confusion: a feeling of embarrassment that leaves you confused

related: Pain (and disgust) at the pump

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · gas station · Tennessee

Busted by Sir Richard Carlisle

May 1st, 2012 · 51 Comments

Matt and his girlfriend were taking a stroll through her parents’ neighborhood (of mostly-legal manor homes?) when they came across this pile of aging newspapers.

“We thought it was good of the employer to be willing to give the delivery boy a chance to explain himself,” Matt says. “However, the sign remains.”

I AM PAYING YOU TO DELIVER MY PAPERS NOT DUMP THEM IN AN ILLEGAL MANOR. GET IT RIGHT, DO YOUR JOB, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT LIVE HERE. PLEASE PICK UP THESE PAPER AND BRING THEM WITH THE SIGN TO MY OFFICE AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT. YES I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE SOMEONE SAW YOU. YOUR BOSS, RICHARD

I AM PAYING YOU TO DELIVER MY PAPERS NOT DUMP THEM IN AN ILLEGAL MANOR. GET IT RIGHT, DO YOUR JOB, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT LIVE HERE. PLEASE PICK UP THESE PAPER AND BRING THEM WITH THE SIGN TO MY OFFICE AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT. YES I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE SOMEONE SAW YOU. YOUR BOSS, RICHARD

related: What’s black, white, and totally over?

extra credit: Arrested Downton

Tags: I know who you are · newspaper · now that's management · Oregon

A serenity prayer with bite

April 27th, 2012 · 44 Comments

Kelli in North Dakota says one of her neighbors plastered the entire building with these notes, directed to a certain wannabe baseball player/bull rider/oral cancer patient.

(Some not-so-fun facts: At 15.3%, North Dakota has the second-highest rate in the country of tobacco-chewing high schoolers. Among North Dakotan adult males, about 1 in 10 chews.)

Dear God, Please do not let me find out who put their chew on my door handle. Grant me the strength to not want to rip their bottom lip off when I find out who it was!

Meanwhile, here in Texas, submitter Katie is unsure whether her neighbors’ cars are being pelted with the likes of Copenhagen or queso. (In Texas, it really could go either way.)

TO WHOEVER IS THROWING DIP ON OUR CARS. I HOPE I CATCH YOU!

related: My garbage can is not your spit cup. 

Tags: God · neighbors · North Dakota · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · thanks (but not really)

Well, it’s not a horse’s head in your bed…

April 25th, 2012 · 43 Comments

Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.

(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)

This is what will happen to you if you take people's clothes.

related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…

Tags: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning

My croaked-out neighbor

April 24th, 2012 · 107 Comments

Writes our submitter in Colorado: “Last year, a frog moved in to our small backyard pond. Although the sound was soothing and peaceful at first, this year it sounds like he’s quadrupled in size, his croaking now loud and obnoxious. We’ve tried to find the frog in the rocks to move him, with no luck. The kicker? “Apparently, one of our genius neighbors thinks we’re intentionally causing the ruckus with some kind of backyard Frog Noise Machine.”

Hello, I'm one of your neighbors who can hear the frog sound from your backyard. From my house the sound is very loud at night and causes sleep problems for my family (I myself have extremely hard problems with sleep even without the sound). We can hear it with all windows closed. We would really appreciate it if you would turn it off or down at night. It would make our nights a lot easier. Please help us out at night. Thank you - Sleepy

related: The sound of two hands clapping

Tags: Colorado · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · sleeping

Monster in my bed

April 22nd, 2012 · 129 Comments

Writes our submitter in Virginia: “One of my (two) roommates is convinced that someone is sleeping in her bed when she is not here. Even though NO ONE has slept in her bed, angry text messages have been exchanged about these mystery sleepover guests, but (like everything else) she has never confronted us face to face. The other night, I stumbled across this gem on her pillows when I dared to enter her room to turn off the light she leaves on for days upon days.”

Do NOT sleep in my bed. I will be able to tell, and I will be PISSED. I respect your stuff, so please respect mine. And if you think this note is weird, I think it's even weirder that you're in here reading it. :)

related: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Quarters

Tags: roommates · sleeping · smiley · Virginia

The Countertop Snot Rocketer

April 18th, 2012 · 35 Comments

Writes Brad in North Carolina: “This was in the bathroom at work, and I must have read it three or four times before admitting I didn’t have a clue what was happening.  The confusion could have been due to the grammar, the punctuation, or the notion that people blow their nose on the countertop (?!?).

Please Don't Blow your nose on Counter top here is tissue... Help your Self!!

Perhaps there’s a snot-rocketer on the loose?

Adds Brad: “In the day and a half since the note has been up, nobody has touched that roll of toilet paper.”

related: Hey, I was saving that for later!

Tags: bathroom · hygiene · North Carolina · nose-picking · office · toilet paper

When frenemies attack

April 17th, 2012 · 90 Comments

Well, girls, I’d say you have at least few things in common…unfortunately for the rest of us.

ATTN Roomies: You are jerks for locking me out of the room while I was in the shower. I hate you all. We have nothing in common anymore, and are officially no longer friends. That is all. -Caley

Dear Caley, We did that on purpose. We all secretly hate you. We have nothing in common. -Ayesha :) P.S. We're gonna do it again...

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

Tags: college life · heart · mean girls · roommates · smiley · Texas