Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Well, that took an unexpected turn.

April 4th, 2012 · 81 Comments

Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!

Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”

Thank you for my lunch baby!! Love you soooo much! Love you so much too! I miss your face! Unplug the toaster motherfucker! I hate you

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad

Tags: heart · Las Vegas · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Say wha? · signed with love · that's a fire hazard · toaster

Your new favorite band: Larceny of Electric Power

April 2nd, 2012 · 51 Comments

“The Winston Salem Transit Authority posted this memo in their depressing, dingy, bus depot,” reports Bill in North Carolina. (The WSTA‘s new motto: “Kick ’em while they’re down!)

If Security Officers see you charging your cell phone, you can and will be banned from WSTA premises for Larceny of Electric Power.

related: Your knees are pressing into my repressed rage

Tags: cell phone · North Carolina · public transit · warning · Winston-Salem · WTF?

How to deal with a chronically messy roommate once and for all

April 1st, 2012 · 19 Comments

The strategic box placement — in what appears to be a minefield of dog turds — is bad enough. But the really passive-aggressive part? Apparently, the box wasn’t taped shut on the bottom.

Since you were too busy to clean anything before you moved out, I thought I'd save you a few trips up the stairs for the rest of your stuff. You're welcome!

related: “I don’t miss them.” 

Tags: cleaning · Idaho · moving/not moving · roommates

And on the eighth day…paper towels?

March 26th, 2012 · 42 Comments

So, apparently this is how creationism debates play out among employees of Seattle coffee shops.

Dear students, when sugar jars are stored upside down on a flat surface the water remaining inside has no where to evaporate and thus the insides remain wet in the morning. Please leave right side up at night. Thanks. Love, Science  Dear Science, I have invented the paper towel. Love, God

related: A public service announcement from Tully’s Coffee

Tags: cranky barista · God · It's science! · most popular notes of 2012 · Seattle · signed with love

The Hunger (Mind) Games

March 25th, 2012 · 85 Comments

…because if there’s one thing you can do to help the starving children of Africa, it’s to eat a cupcake. (Sigh.)

That said, nobody wants the damn thing after you’ve taken a bite out of it. Don’t try to assuage your guilt/food issues by telling yourself that someone else will eat it.

Who can't finish a mini cupcake?! There are starving children in Africa you know. Signed,  Someone who doesn't like to see dessert wasted. :(

related: The Nibbler — the plague of office breakrooms everywhere

extra credit: Charity Navigator’s top-rated charities providing aid to victims of famine and drought in Africa

Tags: Arizona · cake · guilt trip · office · sad face · Tucson

How DARE you.

March 17th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Our submitter, Cynthia, spotted this exchange clipped to a fence in her Seattle neighborhood. “I love the meanness of trying to publicly shame my neighbor into returning this amazing garbage can, and my other neighbor’s overly offended response,” Cynthia says. As of yet, she adds, “the mystery of the missing garbage can remains unsolved.”

Meanwhile, I think some of us are still a little confused about what type of emergency constitutes calling 911. (Hint: a missing garbage can is not one of them.)

One of the neighbors told us they saw you take a white garbage can from our yard. It is custom for our cabinets [sic] and we need it. Please return it.  No questions asked.  Thank you. Response: No questions asked, how dare you. You got the wrong neighbors.  look [e]lsewhere for your can. Or call 911.You could of [sic] asked us about it instead of leaving a nasty note.

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: garbage · neighbors · Oops? · Seattle · stealing

Will it recycle?

March 14th, 2012 · 49 Comments

Kristen in San Francisco says the copy room is ground zero for office arguments, such as this battle of the “enviro people.”

"Enviro People: Paper wrappers are NOT Recyclable. -Mother Earth" "Really Ma?" "Please Don't Waste Paper for Unnecessary Signage"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Ryan in Minneapolis says his building manager left the following note on the mailbox, apparently “after a vagrant left a little ‘present’ in the recycling bin.” Adds Ryan: “Why he thought anyone in the apartment house would do such a thing is beyond any of us.”

PLEASE DO NOT DEFECATE IN THE GARBAGE OR RECYCLING BINS!

related: Hair is not recyclable!

 

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · rebuttals · recycling · San Francisco · shit · The Earth

Your “constructive” criticism is a little off-putting

March 12th, 2012 · 67 Comments

This was the “constructive criticism” Peter received from a classmate on his latest creative writing assignment. (Doesn’t it make you really want to read the whole paper?)

This paper is very choppy and unclear. It is written more like a long winded rant in you exact manner of speaking than an essay. You tend to make run-on sentences and overuse commas, on top of including minute details which make the paper boring & dry, which is a bummer since the topic is interesting. You also tell it in a very arrogant manner, it seems like you think you're really cool for this. Try not to sound like you're such a special snowflake, it's very off-putting.

related: So you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement?”

 

Tags: college life · Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · way harsh

Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

March 11th, 2012 · 154 Comments

Writes Chelsea in Colorado: “This is just hilarious. Their bass shakes our floor at all hours on a pretty much daily basis, but they’re upset because…we walk loudly?”

Hi, As much as I understand your guys' frustration with our loud music on the weekends, (which by the way you've made clear through your stomping) it IS within the

related: How now, Mad Cow?

Tags: college life · Colorado · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · smiley

Debbie downed ’er

March 4th, 2012 · 53 Comments

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie…what are we going to do with you? Your coworkers seem a bit incensed.

Not Debbie's

Don’t worry, Deb — this one’s all yours

 

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · food · Hawaii · most popular notes of 2012 · office fridge