Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Tony Q69: Never Forget

January 26th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Jen in Astoria takes the Q69 bus to work every morning, so she’s quite familiar with the infamous Tony. “I hadn’t seen them in some time,” she says, until catching a glimpse of this beauty just a few days ago. (“Apparently,” she adds, “the chick is still pissed.”)

Tony Q-69 Tony Q69 Tony Q69 You Tony Q-69, are the only one who should feel guilty and sorry over what happened!!!! You are the Married Man who was only looking to get SEX from me without any strings attached!!! This was your only intentions! You Don’t know how to give a Woman any Real friendship either!!!!! You use Your Q-69 job to flirt with Woman all Day long and everyday! You cannot be trusted and you don’t deserve any attention at all!!!! I won’t forget your famous line how you say that, “Married Man are lonely too”. Then it looks like all you need is a Prostitute Tony!!!! I was not looking for any one night stands with a Married Man fool!!!!  But you are for sure Mr. one-night stand and used many Woman! You Married Men are all Garbage and are worth absolutely nothing!!!! What Woman needs a Married Man? I am a single woman and I deserve a trusting, loyal,Sincere, Man in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Astoria…

Tony Q69

related: The Tale of Tony Q-69

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · ex drama · public shaming · public transit · Queens

Got game?

January 23rd, 2012 · 32 Comments

While perusing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, Shelly found this bit of divine snark affixed to the latest XBOX magazine.

Keep Reading You still will be single. - God

Haterz still will hate, I guess?

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: "helpful" advice · California · gaming · God · way harsh

It’s not a chore; it’s a date!

January 16th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:

1: Hate to state the obvious...But-Your Mother doesn't work here...Please clean up after yourselves 2: Mom never really did much cleaning. She was kind of a drunk. 3: it shows...

The real sad reality?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqDzKad2Q3M

 

related: You sure nag like my mother…

Tags: cleaning · office · rebuttals · Seattle · smartass · Your mother doesn't...

Tangled

January 4th, 2012 · 242 Comments

Julie in Milwaukee has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages. The day of the planned trim, Mom found this prize bit of melodrama waiting on her bed.

Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings:

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card

 

 

Tags: guilt trip · hair · kids · Milwaukee · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · visual aids

…and F the Polar Bear!

December 29th, 2011 · 56 Comments

Jess in St. Louis says this dumpster “is definitely a manifestation of the microcosm of American value clashes that is my block.” Adds Jess: “Hopefully we can all survive the cardboard waste of Christmas in one piece.”

Whoever threw away all that cardboard. Do it again and I'll fill your yard with it. Don't be an Asshole. Recycle. [Response] QUIT Being a Nanny-State, Progressive, Liberal, ASS and try to FORCE me to recycle if I don't want to. FU & F the Polar Bear! And if I catch you in my yard, realize, I support the 2nd Ammendmant [sic]. this was written by someone who choses to recycle.

Whoever threw away all that cardboard. Do it again and I'll fill your yard with it. Don't be an Asshole. Recycle.

QUIT Being a Nanny-State, Progressive, Liberal, ASS and try to FORCE me to recycle if I don't want to. FU & F the Polar Bear! And if I catch you in my yard, realize, I support the 2nd Ammendmant [sic]. this was written by someone who choses to recycle.

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: irregular capitalization · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · politics · recycling · St. Louis · The Earth

Found: Ugly Cat

December 28th, 2011 · 35 Comments

Spotted (and Instagram’d) by Cecilia in Pensacola, Florida:

UGLY CAT There is a cat in place that will not leave no matter how poorly I treat it. This means: 1) It is lost 2) It is abandoned 3) It thinks I am a better decorator than you. If you want your cat back describe on next page & leave phone #. If your description matches, come pick up your cat. Bring a stun gun. This *#!$% cat will not leave voluntarily.

related: Scat, fat cat!

extra credit: Chase No Face

Tags: cats · Florida · neighbors

I just want to know the truth!

December 20th, 2011 · 46 Comments

Below: the first of many heartbreaking childhood disappointments to come for Kaeton’s six-year-old cousin, Laylah.

Dear moma and paw, Why didnt you tell me the tooth fairy wasn't real? Why doesn't the tooth fairy come? I asked you what the tooth fairy does with my teeth and you didn't answer me. You just nodded your head and made a funny face. I just want to know the truth! Love, Laylah.

related: Possibly the best Tooth Fairy letters of all time

extra credit: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · signed with love · Texas

Thank You, Merry Terry!

December 19th, 2011 · 24 Comments

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

A gift from Merry Terry of Phoenix

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Merry Terry says enjoy this tree. I expect some help next year.

Altogether now, everyone…

related: Thank You Terry!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · holiday spirit · Phoenix · WTF?

Public Displays of Long-Distance Affection

December 18th, 2011 · 46 Comments

Ryan came home from work tonight and found this taped to the front door of his Chicago apartment building.

It could be worse, of course. Adds Ryan, “At least she plays nice guitar.”

To the guy who lives at the south end of the building and skypes his girlfriend every night at 3am: Hey man, I know you and your girlfriend are in different time zones, and I understand you have to talk to her EVERY NIGHT AT 2-4 AM, but could you please keep your voice down, and maybe use a headphone instead of the speaker? It's nice that your girlfriend has a beautiful singing voice and plays nice guitar, but I really can't appreciate her performance at this ungodly hour. I've been waken [sic] up three nights in a row by you guys and I sincerely hope it won't turn into a full season of your personal American idol show. PLEASE USE A HEADPHONE! Thank you. Someone who only gets 4 hours of sleep these days.

related: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

Tags: Chicago · neighbors · noise · sleeping

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

December 16th, 2011 · 36 Comments

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Dear Grinch Stealing Packages from His and/or Her Neighbors, In the Spirit of the Holidays, I am choosing to let you know that I have sent myself (and a cooperating neighbor on another floor, from whom you have also stolen) one or more extra special presents, JUST FOR YOU! I really hope that you like them! I spent a lot of time and care on them as I wanted to make sure you know just how special you are to me!

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing