Entries Tagged as 'United States'

“Write what you know,” as the saying goes

September 16th, 2011 · 41 Comments

When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

My evil mom forced me write these horrible words. Five times each. And she tortured me by making me write 200 words. Now my arm hurts really bad. Now she's torturing me some more by making me write this stupid two paragraphs. I wish that she will stop torturing me!

related: “Drunk Mommy

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · San Diego

THIS LOCKER ROOM IS A NUDITY-FREE ZONE

September 15th, 2011 · 183 Comments

“My kids take swim lessons at Tyler Junior College, and we have to go through the women’s locker room to access the pool,” writes Jennifer in Texas. “Something tells me that some of the ladies here in the Bible Belt don’t appreciate seeing their fellow females displaying the full glory of God’s creation, if you get my drift.”

Just because your nakedness is not uncomfortable for you does not mean that others have the same viewpoint. Let Us ALL RESPECT Each Other.

PLEASE DO NOT AIR DRY Some people (especially students & children) are more modest than others and we should all RESPECT each other.

USE a TOWEL to COVER they are FREE at the Front Desk..........Just Ask

And a shot of the whole scene…

To the Elderly Woman Standing Naked In the Locker Room In A Small Town

related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules)

extra credit: The horrors of locker-room nudity [Salon.com]

Tags: "polite notice" · a matter of taste · blitzkrieg approach · most popular notes of 2011 · swimming pool · Texas · that's disrespectful · Won't somebody think of the children?

Couplets for the Commode

September 13th, 2011 · 44 Comments

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

When you are done and it's time to flush/Please be kind and do not rush. Just look behind you and be aware/That if you can see it, it's really still there. Please flush again and maybe once more/You are really mean if you walk out that door. You share this room with other women/Who don't need to see your deposit swimmin'. Just one more thought before you go/To wash your hands, but that you know. If you don't wash those germs away/Don't touch your food or face today. It's such a shame to write this note/To people old enough to vote. In other words, please be considerate of everyone sharing this room with you. Let's keep it clean. Don't be mean! Thanks!!

When you are done and it's time to flush/Please be kind and do not rush. Just look behind you and be aware/That if you can see it, it's really still there. Please flush again and maybe once more/You are really mean if you walk out that door. You share this room with other women/Who don't need to see your deposit swimmin'. Just one more thought before you go/To wash your hands, but that you know. If you don't wash those germs away/Don't touch your food or face today. It's such a shame to write this note/To people old enough to vote. In other words, please be considerate of everyone sharing this room with you. Let's keep it clean. Don't be mean! Thanks!!

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Tags: etiquette · hygiene · Long Island · New York · pure poetry · toilet · washing your hands

How NOT to earn great restaurant tips

September 8th, 2011 · 117 Comments

Writes Amber in Minnesota: “My friend works in accounting for a local restaurant chain, and every once in awhile she has to go through credit card receipts if something isn’t adding up correctly. She’s found some pretty interesting gems, but this one takes the cake.”

I'm not pregnant, but thanks for the "eating for two" comment.

[Adds the Not-Pregnant Notewriter: THANKS FOR THE 'TAKES THE CAKE' COMMENT, AMBER. REALLY.]

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business.

Tags: etiquette · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · Oops? · preggers · restaurant

So close, and yet…

September 1st, 2011 · 99 Comments

Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

You pick up the dog crap, but insist on leaving it next to the garbage can. I don't understand.

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

OLD LADY If I Catch You In The Act Of Putting Your Dogs Crap In Our Cans. I Will Cut Off Your Head And Bolt It To The Hood Of My Car

related: This is not a trash can

Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?

…and leave off the last “S” for “stolen”?

August 24th, 2011 · 39 Comments

Allie in Ypsilanti, Michigan was walking into her local Target store when she noticed this little art installation on the sidewalk outside. Granted, she says, “The closest Wal-Mart is about two miles away, and I have no idea how the cart got there either.”

The chalk artist had also drawn purple arrows across the parking lot in the direction of the Wal-Mart, and while Allie says she didn’t check to see if the chalk lines extended all the way to the store, “drawing the arrows but not taking the cart back would have been pretty P-A.”

Thi [sic] is from Wal-Mart. How did it get here?

Meanwhile, Michi spotted this piece of guerilla knitwork chained to a post near NYU. (“It was, on inspection, empty.”)

DON'T STEAL FROM PUBLIC

related: To whoever left this cart here — you are precisely what is wrong with America!

extra credit: Why Wal-Mart’s current business model is doomed [AdAge]

Tags: Michigan · retail hell · WTF?

An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

August 23rd, 2011 · 66 Comments

Mim decided to take a back road to a friend’s house in Wisconsin when she spotted this sign in someone’s front yard — presumably, she says, a reaction to the two large silos that were recently erected in the corn field across the road.

Thank you Mike, Jeanne [last name redacted] for being such inconsiderate neighbors.

related: Roadside intervention

Tags: neighbors · public shaming · small town living · Wisconsin

Wrath of the Ancients™ 2.0

August 22nd, 2011 · 47 Comments

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. The wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head. You will be cursed and misery will accompany you for your remaining days. You will constantly trip over things that are not there. The IRS will audit you. Your dog will run away at the sight of you. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Mysterious clowns will seem to always be watching you. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Your food in the work refrigerator will mysteriously spoil (and only yours. No one else's.) Your car  will start making the expensive knocking/tapping sound and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES EVER AGAIN.

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass

Isn’t starting middle school torture enough?

August 21st, 2011 · 67 Comments

Hollie in Portland, Oregon spotted this note on the second-floor landing as she was walking up to her apartment.

While I’m usually not in favor of note-leaving when a direct confrontation would do, I give this one a pass — creative spelling and all — because, really, have you ever met a middle schooler without an an attitude? I’d say forcing a kid to make it through eighth grade is enough of an ass-kicking already.

Dear niebors, I'm tiered of you wakeing me up During the night. When I go middle school in two weeks I'm gonna need to wake up at 6:15! Next time you stomp in the middle of the night I'm gonna call the office and tell them about all the times you woke me up, especelly if you make it so I'm late for school! Sincerly, The girl who lives in 346

related: Another Portland teen takes on her noisy neighbors

Tags: kids · neighbors · noise · Portland

In case you’d forgotten that you are but a tiny, eminently replaceable cog in this vast machine…

August 18th, 2011 · 77 Comments

Your corporate overlords would like to offer this friendly reminder of how much we value our employees!

Hi Everyone, Effective immediately, [redacted] no longer works for [redacted]. On a more positive note, [redacted] (a new Qualifier) starts on Monday! Just wanted to keep everyone in the loop. I hope your [sic] having a great day!! TGIF... :) Thank you

related: Recession incentive plan

Tags: all-staff e-mail · California · fired · now that's management · smiley · your/you're