Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Pissed off — and rightfully so

October 5th, 2011 · 59 Comments

Bob from San Francisco’s explanation: “Partied till 5 am, slept in and missed work, found this note under my door, had to take the walk of shame to find the hose and wash the sidewalk down.” Pooooor Bob, right?

Dear Bob, (I hope I've got your name right), Please do not pee out your bedroom window again! Besides the fact that it is kinda disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly, you make a lot of noise doing it and it wakes me up. Your apartment does come with a toilet - please use it. And it would be the considerate thing to do if you would wash the pavement off below your window. I can smell the urine. Thanks, Jody #2

Meanwhile, in Kentucky…

Bob's urine

related: “Please stop urinating on the door handle” — and other totally reasonable requests.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · drizzunk · odor · piss · San Francisco · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

October 3rd, 2011 · 155 Comments

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

Hi All! If you

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Cleveland · heart · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love · smoking · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

October 2nd, 2011 · 43 Comments

Well played, Jerry Brown.

To the Members of the California State Senate: I am signing SB 769 which allows for a dead mountain lion to be stuffed and displayed.  This presumably important bill earned overwhelming support by both Republicans and Democrats. If only that same energetic bipartisan spirit could be applied to creating clean energy jobs and ending tax laws that send jobs out of state. Sincerely, Edmund G. Brown Jr.

related: We hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

extra credit: “Look at that antelope driving a car!” [via thinkprogress.com]

Tags: California · most popular notes of 2011 · politics · sarcasm

Another air freshener fracas

September 29th, 2011 · 121 Comments

“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)

Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”

To whomever is removing the Staples Summer Breeze Dry Air Freshener and replacing it with the Staples Lemon Peel Dry Air Freshener: Please stop doing this immediately; it seems as though [?] prefers the Summer Breeze. Several have complained about it disappearing. Thank you in advance.

related: Please spray your corpses BEFORE placing them in the restroom

extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]

Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · Louisiana · message to all intended for one · odor · office · smiley

Perhaps your boss is due for a little chat with HR?

September 28th, 2011 · 31 Comments

The sign to the left was posted by the boss at an office in Oneonta, New York. (Adds our submitter: “He claims the spelling was autocorrected by Word.”)

Without even getting into the finer points of what might constitute a “hostile work environment,” I think it’s safe to say that encouraging your employees to commit suicide isn’t the best management technique.

IF YOU ARE NOT INTELLEGENT [sic] ENOUGH TO RINSE OUT THE EMPTIES, PLEASE KILL YOURSELF NOW.  [response:] What about not being able to spell

(Of course, some managers might disagree.)

You don't call retarded people retards. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.

related: Signs you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job

Tags: a little insensitive · crazy boss · die bitch die · more aggressive than passive · New York · now that's management · rebuttals · recycling · spelling and grammar police · that's irresponsible

Playing the terrorism card to justify your late-night karaoke dance party? Really?

September 25th, 2011 · 58 Comments

If it wasn’t obvious, Lorah in NYC says the response note here was most definitely a total lie. (The residents of 4B are musical theater actors, and sing-and-dance-a-thons are not uncommon events in their apartment.)

Please respect your neighbors. Any singing/dancing/noise after 11pm, management & police will be notified. -The Tenants

So sorry for all the commotion last night. We meant no disrespect by singing/dancing. A dear friend returned from overseas, fighting the war on terror. We had a celebration for his return. It would be a shame if you do not support our soldiers overseas. Please come see our apartment. It's red, white, and blue. NOW WHO'S THE TERRORIST?! <3 the residents of 4B xoxoxo

related: If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?

Tags: heart · neighbors · New York · noise · non-apology apology · oh no you didn't · smartass · that's disrespectful · xoxo

Hello Kitty says: “Unconditional love can be complicated!”

September 23rd, 2011 · 59 Comments

Melody in Schenectady, New York says her 7-year-old daughter, Emma, is constantly writing little stories and whatnot, which inevitably end up all over the house. As Melody was picking up some of Emma’s latest scraps, she found this note addressed to her 4-year-old sister.

Hay Addison, I thingk you sud be niser to me i still love y(ou) but your driv me crase. Love, Emma

related: S is for sibling rivalry

Tags: kids · New York · siblings · signed with love

“Write what you know,” as the saying goes

September 16th, 2011 · 41 Comments

When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

My evil mom forced me write these horrible words. Five times each. And she tortured me by making me write 200 words. Now my arm hurts really bad. Now she's torturing me some more by making me write this stupid two paragraphs. I wish that she will stop torturing me!

related: “Drunk Mommy

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · San Diego

THIS LOCKER ROOM IS A NUDITY-FREE ZONE

September 15th, 2011 · 183 Comments

“My kids take swim lessons at Tyler Junior College, and we have to go through the women’s locker room to access the pool,” writes Jennifer in Texas. “Something tells me that some of the ladies here in the Bible Belt don’t appreciate seeing their fellow females displaying the full glory of God’s creation, if you get my drift.”

Just because your nakedness is not uncomfortable for you does not mean that others have the same viewpoint. Let Us ALL RESPECT Each Other.

PLEASE DO NOT AIR DRY Some people (especially students & children) are more modest than others and we should all RESPECT each other.

USE a TOWEL to COVER they are FREE at the Front Desk..........Just Ask

And a shot of the whole scene…

To the Elderly Woman Standing Naked In the Locker Room In A Small Town

related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules)

extra credit: The horrors of locker-room nudity [Salon.com]

Tags: "polite notice" · a matter of taste · blitzkrieg approach · most popular notes of 2011 · swimming pool · Texas · that's disrespectful · Won't somebody think of the children?

Couplets for the Commode

September 13th, 2011 · 44 Comments

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

When you are done and it's time to flush/Please be kind and do not rush. Just look behind you and be aware/That if you can see it, it's really still there. Please flush again and maybe once more/You are really mean if you walk out that door. You share this room with other women/Who don't need to see your deposit swimmin'. Just one more thought before you go/To wash your hands, but that you know. If you don't wash those germs away/Don't touch your food or face today. It's such a shame to write this note/To people old enough to vote. In other words, please be considerate of everyone sharing this room with you. Let's keep it clean. Don't be mean! Thanks!!

When you are done and it's time to flush/Please be kind and do not rush. Just look behind you and be aware/That if you can see it, it's really still there. Please flush again and maybe once more/You are really mean if you walk out that door. You share this room with other women/Who don't need to see your deposit swimmin'. Just one more thought before you go/To wash your hands, but that you know. If you don't wash those germs away/Don't touch your food or face today. It's such a shame to write this note/To people old enough to vote. In other words, please be considerate of everyone sharing this room with you. Let's keep it clean. Don't be mean! Thanks!!

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Tags: etiquette · hygiene · Long Island · New York · pure poetry · toilet · washing your hands