Entries Tagged as 'United States'

404 error: water not found

January 12th, 2014 · 43 Comments

Aaron works at a web design and development company in Houston where he the water cooler is chronically empty. Writes Aaron: “Other notes have been written in the past, but this time I feel the javascript developers are being specifically targeted.”

404 error: water not found

related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

Tags: Houston · nerd alert · office · water

Greetings from the Polar Vortex

January 8th, 2014 · 126 Comments

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

By City of Boston law, I am entitled to save this spent after having spent an hour of backbreaking work shoveling. I hope you with respect your neighbors next time, you piece of shit. Love, Vigilante Justice P.S. Happy Holidays!

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

Tags: Boston · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · parking

Which one of these is not like the other?

January 5th, 2014 · 116 Comments

Writes Meg in New Jersey: “We just buried my Mom today. After Mass and luncheon we came home and unpacked cards from the funeral home. This is from my brother’s office.” Can you tell who didn’t bother to read the card before signing it?

Which one of these is not like the other?

related: My condolences on your birthday

Tags: New Jersey · Oops?

Tis the season for white lies, kid.

December 22nd, 2013 · 109 Comments

Writes Siegrin in California: “My friend started teaching at a new school this year and received this note from one of her (fifth-grade) students on the last day before the holiday break. It’s almost as uplifting as the doughnut she received from her fellow teacher, along with a note that read, ‘If you’re watching your weight, feel free to not eat the doughnut.”

Dear Mrs. A, thank you for being our teacher and teaching us as best you can. I wanted Mrs. F or Mr. C but I was wrong. You are the Best Teacher Ever! Thank you for being the best and trying to teach us the best you can to pass every test. Thank you and Merry Cristmas!! (Star, Heart, Happy Face)

related: You’re a good student, but not my best speller

Tags: California · Christmas · just being honest · schools & teachers

Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 129 Comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)

Excuse me, this is my private public bathroom

December 5th, 2013 · 125 Comments

Our submitter from Washington state found this note in one of the restrooms in her office building.”The toothbrushes and mouthwash have been there for a few weeks,” she says. “I’m not sure why they’re there or who posted the note, but I appreciate the incredulous tone.”

Is this a staff collection of tooth brushes? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

I don’t really have anything against brushing your teeth at the office, but between yesterday’s note and today’s, I’m starting to wonder if “public restroom” means something different to people on the West Coast. This posting from a Los Angeles-based Yelp user only deepened my suspicions:

The Office Bathroom: a home away from home?

related: “You are not fit to use a public toilet, you filthy mutt.”

extra credit: The Office Bathroom: Now a Home Away From Home [forbes.com]

Tags: bathroom · hygiene · office · Washington state

So much for No-Shave November

December 4th, 2013 · 72 Comments

Our submitter in Tempe found this notice posted in the men’s bathroom of a classroom building on the ASU campus. In a word…yuck.

Dear asshat who shave in the bathroom on November 4, Maybe your mother didn't teach you this, but in public places it is common courtesy to clean up your messes after you make them. Leaving your shaved whiskers all over the sink and disabled toilet stall seat (?!WTF?!) is just plain gross. Please try to clean up after yourself so that others won't have to next time. Sincerely, Everybody Else

related: Body hair saga!

extra credit: 9 Things to Do with Human Hair [npr.org]

Tags: bathroom · Tempe · that's disgusting · toilet

But…you said not to flush anything down the toilet?

December 3rd, 2013 · 70 Comments

Writes Sarah: “I am deeply sorry, long-suffering San Diego Public Library, for whatever past incident(s) made this sign necessary…though I do appreciate the superfun font!”

ATTENTION: Please do not discard plastic bags with urine in this receptacle

related: Colostomy bags!

Tags: library · piss · San Diego · so this is a thing?

A Snowball’s chance

November 20th, 2013 · 205 Comments

Our unapologetic submitter, Patrick from Orlando, Florida, says he’s always been more of a dog person. One day, he says, “I got fed up with the perpetual harassment of this neighborhood cat: getting into my trash, jumping onto my car, and might have even given me ringworm once.” His response?

I have shitty owners who don't feed me and let me run wild so I harass the neighbors. Signed, Snowball

Adds Patrick: “Crazy cat ladies must have some sort of sixth sense because I had an angry visitor at my front door within 15 minutes. To this day, Snowball still roams free.”

Snowball

related: The story of STUPID CAT

extra credit: Call for Cat Curfew [thecourier.com.au]

Tags: cats · neighbors · Orlando

Things that go bump in the night

November 17th, 2013 · 52 Comments

Today on Passive-Aggressive Poetry Corner: A note our submitter from Maryland found slid under the door of her top-floor apartment.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're real loud Here's a list of things you do:  1. you stomp real loud like a hefalump 2. you move your furniture like you're an interior designer 3. there is a weird noise that happens in your common area 4. the steps you take sound like forced stomps 5. the loud noises happen at all hours We understand that you don't have to listen to people above you but please realize there are people underneath you

related: Ever wonder what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

Tags: Maryland · neighbors · noise · pure poetry