Entries Tagged as 'United States'

…but don’t do that.

February 26th, 2013 · 41 Comments

Slow clap for this building manager in Boston, anyone?

Do anything you want with the paper towels! It's an arts neighborhood: make a sculpture. Winter's coming: make a neck ruff. Roll your own: and smoke away from the building. But please don't put them in the toilet!! Put them in the trash...throw them out the nearest window...adopt them...send them to reform school...but don't put them in the toilet! Our staff and the people downstairs are very tired of the overflow floods.

related: Things to do this summer

Tags: bathroom · Boston · toilet

Gee, thanks for the advice.

February 20th, 2013 · 66 Comments

Steve in Los Angeles says his dog has been having some separation anxiety, typically crying for about 30 minutes to an hour after Steve leaves for work. He recently found this oh-so-helpful advice taped to his front door. (His response: “WTF?!”)

Hello, I'm not sure if you're aware but your dog barks almost non stop when you're gone. He seems very unhappy. I had a similar problem but finally worked it out. Good luck.

Steve, just to put things in perspective, you might want to take a look at the Chicago approach:

To the inconsiderate asshole on the third floor who's dog won't shut the fuck up. If you don't start closing your window, the dog is gonna take a bullet. You've been warned.

related: My bite is work than your bark

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · dogs · Los Angeles · neighbors · noise · warning

Do you hear the people sing?

February 18th, 2013 · 53 Comments

Cynthia in San Francisco says she was about to check the class schedule at her gym when she saw that their website was no longer operational. “There is so much YES going on here,” she says, of the screenshots she was able to grab. “I barely make it to the gym anyway and this is a great excuse to quit altogether. I’m more of a yoga person anyhow!”

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

related: The Mad Bomber

extra credit: Burger King Twitter Hacked, Turned into McDonalds [gizmodo.com]

Tags: gym · money · posted online · San Francisco

This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of honesty

February 14th, 2013 · 32 Comments

Rachel in New York City says one of her students proudly presented her with this card, adding, “I think it speaks for itself.”

Dear Rachel You are the 2nd best teacher Ever ? Love You

related: Happy Valentine’s Day to the groaner upstairs

Tags: heart · kids · New York · schools & teachers · signed with love · Valentine's Day

A Warning Chime

February 6th, 2013 · 118 Comments

Adriana in Playa Del Rey, California said her husband found this note from a non-wind chime enthusiast taped to their outside of their condo building. “I personally love all the exclamation points,” Adriana says — “especially the cheery ‘thanks!’ at the bottom.”

CHIMES. Third Floor Front Over the Garage. People have lived here 10-20 years but now have to hear your chimes all day and night! Take them down or we will get a class action lawsuit against you and the Homeowners association! We can't stand it anymore! Have consideration or we will see you in court and get a court order! Thanks!

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats

The Message on the Milk Carton

February 4th, 2013 · 71 Comments

Explains Johnny in Alabama: “My friend Lauren left this for my brother Jared when she let him stay at her house for a few weeks. Every day she would come home and have a glass of milk and iced coffee. One day, she discovered that Jared had emptied the milk once already and had replaced it with milk from the gas station. It wasn’t the ‘weird expensive milk that she buys,’ and to make matters worse, he hadn’t checked the expiration date. The second time it happened he accidentally put the empty carton back in the fridge and came home later to find this note” — complete with a ‘hidden’ message.

Friday I walked into the house after a long day at work. It had been a great day until I entered the kitchen, at which point I found that the milk was gone. Who could have done this? I had just bought that milk yesterday! When I left it in the kitchen I'd even written my name on it. You were the only person in the house, sir. I know it was you that left me to drink orange juice. I am not mad, just disappointed. Fortunately for you, I am a kind and understanding friend, and I only ask that you replace what you've taken. BUY MORE MILK AND IT BETTER BE ORGANIC NOT THAT SHIT YOU GOT AT THE GAS STATION LAST TIME.

related: The Boy Who Drank All The Milk

Tags: Alabama · milk

Please, no, anything but emo!

January 31st, 2013 · 21 Comments

Emmet in Phoenix says that at his office, “people donate magazines for others to peruse, but sometimes they grow legs and disappear.” Emmet recently found this (totally metal) back-and-forth about the issue…on the issues themselves.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

related: The Hot Topic at this Year’s Warped Tour

extra credit: These Babies Are Totally Metal [youtube]

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · band · music · not-so-veiled threats · office · Phoenix

A formal declaration of the “Man Rules”

January 30th, 2013 · 136 Comments

“Frankly, I find this a little bit ridiculous,” says our submitter in Ohio, “but then again, I’m not a man.”

I feel the need to post this note due to the continuous breeching of what I call common sense of

related: Urinal Games

Tags: Cincinnati · etiquette · spelling and grammar police · toilet

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