Entries Tagged as 'United States'

So much for No-Shave November

December 4th, 2013 · 72 Comments

Our submitter in Tempe found this notice posted in the men’s bathroom of a classroom building on the ASU campus. In a word…yuck.

Dear asshat who shave in the bathroom on November 4, Maybe your mother didn't teach you this, but in public places it is common courtesy to clean up your messes after you make them. Leaving your shaved whiskers all over the sink and disabled toilet stall seat (?!WTF?!) is just plain gross. Please try to clean up after yourself so that others won't have to next time. Sincerely, Everybody Else

related: Body hair saga!

extra credit: 9 Things to Do with Human Hair [npr.org]

Tags: bathroom · Tempe · that's disgusting · toilet

But…you said not to flush anything down the toilet?

December 3rd, 2013 · 70 Comments

Writes Sarah: “I am deeply sorry, long-suffering San Diego Public Library, for whatever past incident(s) made this sign necessary…though I do appreciate the superfun font!”

ATTENTION: Please do not discard plastic bags with urine in this receptacle

related: Colostomy bags!

Tags: library · piss · San Diego · so this is a thing?

A Snowball’s chance

November 20th, 2013 · 205 Comments

Our unapologetic submitter, Patrick from Orlando, Florida, says he’s always been more of a dog person. One day, he says, “I got fed up with the perpetual harassment of this neighborhood cat: getting into my trash, jumping onto my car, and might have even given me ringworm once.” His response?

I have shitty owners who don't feed me and let me run wild so I harass the neighbors. Signed, Snowball

Adds Patrick: “Crazy cat ladies must have some sort of sixth sense because I had an angry visitor at my front door within 15 minutes. To this day, Snowball still roams free.”

Snowball

related: The story of STUPID CAT

extra credit: Call for Cat Curfew [thecourier.com.au]

Tags: cats · neighbors · Orlando

Things that go bump in the night

November 17th, 2013 · 52 Comments

Today on Passive-Aggressive Poetry Corner: A note our submitter from Maryland found slid under the door of her top-floor apartment.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're real loud Here's a list of things you do:  1. you stomp real loud like a hefalump 2. you move your furniture like you're an interior designer 3. there is a weird noise that happens in your common area 4. the steps you take sound like forced stomps 5. the loud noises happen at all hours We understand that you don't have to listen to people above you but please realize there are people underneath you

related: Ever wonder what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

Tags: Maryland · neighbors · noise · pure poetry

This is why people hate the Millennials

November 11th, 2013 · 285 Comments

Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Rather than write a lengthy explanation of why it is a bad idea to come to my class without reading the material, or why typing away on your laptop or checking FB while I am speaking (or worse, while yours peers are leading discussion) is rude, I decided instead just to thank those of you who consistently come into class prepared and enthusiastic.

related: So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · college life · Colorado · kids today · most popular notes of 2013

Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 Comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

Tags: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates

Begging for a backstory

October 28th, 2013 · 38 Comments

Carolyn and her husband were intrigued by this message on a car they spotted at a roadside farmer’s market in Maryland. “We desperately wanted to know who the driver was and who wrote it,” Carolyn says. “Unfortunately, we never got to see either before we left.”

Bad Driver good girlfriend tho

So, what do you imagine the story is here?

related: What does your car say about you?

Tags: driving · Maryland · public shaming

WiBuy Local?

October 24th, 2013 · 69 Comments

“Foster’s Market in Chapel Hill, North Carolina is a pretty popular place right off a college campus,” says our submitter, Hope. “Lots of students come in, maybe get a coffee and sit for hours using the free wireless without buying anything else.” In response, the owners recently changed the name of the WiFi network. Gets the point across, no?

Our wireless network is called 'BUY A SANDWICH' and does not require a password

related: Passive-Aggressive WiFi

Tags: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2013 · North Carolina · restaurant

(Cat) Lady of the Night

October 22nd, 2013 · 95 Comments

Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.

A MESSAGE TO THE LATE NIGHT CAT LADY  1. DO YOU REALLY THINK STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT 1 AM AND CALLING IN A HIGH, LOUD VOICE IS THE BEST WAY TO BRING HOME YOUR CAT?  2. DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR CAT CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE AND NOT YOUR NEIGHBORS?  3. DO YOU IMAGINE YOUR NEIGHBORS ENJOY YOU WAKING THEM FROM SLEEP AT 12, 1, OR 2 AM ON A NEARLY DAILY BASIS?  SUGGESTIONS: 1. BRING YOUR CAT IN BEFORE 10 PM.  2. REALIZE THAT YOUR VOICE CARRIES AND THE HOUSES ON THIS STREET ARE CLOSE TOGETHER.  3. CONSIDER GETTING A DIFFERENT PET - MAYBE A GOLDFISH.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

Tags: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · Oakland

Another year without the Great Pumpkin

October 17th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).

David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.

Whoever stole the Big Pumpkin you broke a little boy's heart

related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.

Tags: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Halloween · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?