Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.
related: Please walk your elephant quietly!
Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).
David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.
related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.
Rachel in California says the breakroom at her office hasn’t caused many problems in the past, but a recent wave of new hires has changed that. “The last time I opened the microwave it was stuffed with paper towels, the walls were slathered in orange goop, and it smelled like rotting horse flesh.” (In other words, like a frozen lasagna from Tesco?)
Hannah in Austin made the poster to the right — inspired by one of her favorite poets, Mary Oliver — and hung it in her window. A few weeks later, she woke up to find that her next-door neighbor had added a piece of his own.
Our submitter in Chicago says that there a used to be a trash can near the front door of her apartment building, but because it was always overwhelming with doggie poop bags and other smelly trash, she wasn’t sad to see it go. Apparently, some of her neighbors are still in denial.
related: Dear mother of hair baby
Kathy in Wisconsin spotted this note in the breakroom of the hospital where she works. Writes Kathy: “The funny thing is, the shelf isn’t that high up — I’m 5’4″ and it’s about chest level with me — so whoever wrote that is either really, really short or really, really doesn’t like the feel of stirrers on their arm when they’re reaching for the sugar!”
related: Is this a thing now?
Leah spotted this note in the changing area at Colman Pool in Seattle, a city she describes as “the epicenter of passive-aggressive communication.” Adds Leah: “I like the image of the kid’s shimmying out under the stall door as being a nifty method of floor cleaning. It’s both disgusting and passive-aggressive in the extreme!”
Spotted backstage at a resort in St. Petersburg, Florida — drama!
Or, as RuPaul put it:
related: Stripper Problems
Those must be some darn big pockets you’ve got there, Elwood.
(Thanks to Jessi in Illinois for submitting!)
related: A Roadside Intervention
extra credit: “Men accused of stealing $65,000 in chicken wings” [cbsatlanta.com]