Entries Tagged as 'United States'
First with the plums, now lemons? Seriously, Bill?
And by the way, I’d like my red wheelbarrow back, please. (So much depends upon it, after all.)
(Thanks to our submitters Sarah in NYC and Steve in the U.K.)
related: What rhymes with putrid?
extra credit: This Is Just to Say
Tags: food · New York · office fridge · pure poetry · stealing
Katie says this was propped up in the ladies room at a senior citizen apartment building in Florida. Adds Katie: “I don’t care that they think the floor is dirtier, I’m not touching the floor either!”
related: Hover & Flow(chart); The Rhyme That Must Be Flushed
Tags: clip art catastrophe · Florida · old folks · pure poetry · toilet
Our submitter in Portland, Oregon saw this sign while out for her morning run. Strangely, she took a pass on the hot date.
related: The saga of Tony Q69
Tags: ex drama · Portland · public shaming
Joe spotted this note posted on a thermostat inside an abandoned factory-turned-shopping center in Keene, New Hampshire.
Writes Joe, “I have to confess that I looked at it, got near it, and for the love of monkeys, I can’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t touch it though.” (No matter, Joe: Big Brother knows the truth.)
related: NO TOUCHING!
Tags: big brother-ish · New Hampshire · temperature · touching
“My dear, sweet grandmother is a treasure in my life,” writes Jessi in Dallas. To her horror, however, she realized — upon receiving this anonymous postcard from ‘a friend,’ — that she had forgotten to wish her grandmother a happy birthday this year.
Already feeling pretty guilty, says Jessi: “I immediately called her and received an additional 40-minute guilt trip over the phone. Today I sent her a birthday card in the mail.” Still, Jessi can’t help but how long it’ll be before she makes it off of Grandma’s “naughty list.”
related: If you have a birthday and don’t hear from your grandchildren, is it still a birthday?
Tags: birthday · Dallas/Fort Worth · Grandma · guilt trip · mea culpa
Writes Katy in Tampa: “The vending machines in my office are old, and they eat someone’s money at least once a week. The vending machine guy told us to put a sticky on the machine saying how much money you lost and he’ll refund it when he comes to fill the machine. Apparently the machine was hungry this week.”
So, that was two weeks ago. Katy just wrote again with a follow-up: “Since the vending machine company has ignored our pleas to fix the machine, the notes just keep on coming.”
related: The Candyman Can’t
Tags: money · office · smartass · Tampa · vending machine drama
Keith passed along this gem from his friend Ben, a professional musician, who spotted this on the wall of a restroom at a Central Florida club. (Another one for the “How many times did this have to happen before they made a sign about it?” files.)
related: Hey you, you dumb redneck
Tags: bathroom · Florida · so this is a thing? · that's disgusting · that's trashy · toilet · WTF?
Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “We do not have air-conditioned hallways in my building, so there’s been an ongoing debate on my floor about how open the hallway windows need to be for maximum airflow.” Suddenly…SCIENCE!
related: A/C, windows, and Kelvin’s law of thermodynamics
Tags: It's science! · neighbors · Philadelphia · signed with love · temperature
“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.
related: Signed, Your Proud Wife
Tags: car · Los Angeles · love & marriage
As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.
related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed
Tags: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI