Entries Tagged as 'United States'

A thoughtcrime in the making

September 2nd, 2013 · 25 Comments

Joe spotted this note posted on a thermostat inside an abandoned factory-turned-shopping center in Keene, New Hampshire.

Writes Joe, “I have to confess that I looked at it, got near it, and for the love of monkeys, I can’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t touch it though.” (No matter, Joe: Big Brother knows the truth.)

Leave this alone. Don't touch it. Don't Look at it. Don't get near it. Stop thinking about it.   -Thanks

related: NO TOUCHING!

Tags: big brother-ish · New Hampshire · temperature · touching

Nobody does guilt trips quite like Grandma

August 28th, 2013 · 50 Comments

“My dear, sweet grandmother is a treasure in my life,” writes Jessi in Dallas. To her horror, however, she realized — upon receiving this anonymous postcard from ‘a friend,’ — that she had forgotten to wish her grandmother a happy birthday this year.

Already feeling pretty guilty, says Jessi: “I immediately called her and received an additional 40-minute guilt trip over the phone. Today I sent her a birthday card in the mail.” Still, Jessi can’t help but how long it’ll be before she makes it off of Grandma’s “naughty list.”

Jessica, Where are you? I know you are out there somewhere. Contact your grandmother. She is three years away from being eighty. She is deaf and all alone. A Friend.

related: If you have a birthday and don’t hear from your grandchildren, is it still a birthday?

Tags: birthday · Dallas/Fort Worth · Grandma · guilt trip · mea culpa

Raging against the (vending) machine

August 28th, 2013 · 19 Comments

Writes Katy in Tampa: “The vending machines in my office are old, and they eat someone’s money at least once a week. The vending machine guy told us to put a sticky on the machine saying how much money you lost and he’ll refund it when he comes to fill the machine. Apparently the machine was hungry this week.”

Um...You might want to stop putting money in here!  Just a thought.

So, that was two weeks ago. Katy just wrote again with a follow-up: “Since the vending machine company has ignored our pleas to fix the machine, the notes just keep on coming.”

  I didn't lose any money, I just want to feel included. I didn't lose any money also, but I need to make my car payment - $275.00 Skip

related: The Candyman Can’t

Tags: money · office · smartass · Tampa · vending machine drama

Toilet: Not a Redneck Washing Machine

August 20th, 2013 · 41 Comments

Keith passed along this gem from his friend Ben, a professional musician, who spotted this on the wall of a restroom at a Central Florida club. (Another one for the “How many times did this have to happen before they made a sign about it?” files.)

Toilet: Not a Redneck Washing Machine!! You poop your pants Trash your underwear Do not hide in toilet!!

related: Hey you, you dumb redneck

Tags: bathroom · Florida · so this is a thing? · that's disgusting · that's trashy · toilet · WTF?

Cracks, holes, and hot air

August 19th, 2013 · 31 Comments

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “We do not have air-conditioned hallways in my building, so there’s been an ongoing debate on my floor about how open the hallway windows need to be for maximum airflow.” Suddenly…SCIENCE!

Dear Neighbor - MORE air comes into the building when the window is cracked slightly. NOT fully open. Its simple physics. Love your neighbor.   Simple Physics? Please elaborate.   Smaller Hole = Greater vac suction See: Pressure diff hot air formula (?)  Please be sure to calculate ?P in ALL orifice conditions in your fluid model

related: A/C, windows, and Kelvin’s law of thermodynamics

Tags: It's science! · neighbors · Philadelphia · signed with love · temperature

Check out this sick whip

August 18th, 2013 · 61 Comments

“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.

My wife doesn't want me playing paintball with you anymore. I'll see ya at church.

Check out this sick whip!

related: Signed, Your Proud Wife

 

Tags: car · Los Angeles · love & marriage

It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 Comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

Tags: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI

Your cat. Your choice.

July 25th, 2013 · 240 Comments

Submission-wise, it’s been a slow week. So, hey, why not open the can of worms that is The Great Outdoor Cat Debate? (Eeek.)

Amy says her Atlanta neighborhood is constantly plastered with “missing cat” signs. This one, though, was a little different.

If you own a gray tabby cat with a collar, read this. Your cat is spending its days in my backyard. I have bird feeders and there are chipmunks around. When I try to be nice to the cat to be able to read its collar and find out where its home is, it hisses and growls. This is fair warning. The next time I see your cat in my backyard, I will throw something heavy at it. I have pretty good aim. So if you don't want a vet bill, keep your cat indoors. If it kills a bird at one of my feeders, I will hire someone to catch it and take it to animal control. Your cat. Your choice.

related: Barking Mad

Tags: Atlanta · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · warning

The nuts and bolts of soda pop safety

July 23rd, 2013 · 88 Comments

Stephen in Maryland build this contraption after his sixth or seventh soda was stolen out of the office fridge. “My boss told me there was nothing I or he could do about it,” Stephen says, but he thought he’d give it a shot anyway. “I went a little overboard,” he admits, “But so far, no one’s been able to defeat the system.”

Like The Club® anti-theft device for the Office Fridge

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: beverages · Maryland · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

Are you lost?

July 17th, 2013 · 73 Comments

Apparently everyone is “doing it wrong,” says our submitter in Colorado.

In case you're confused, you've entered an office building bathroom, not a port-o-let at Coachella in July. That green handle on the side flushes all material down that nifty little porcelain hole. And there's no limit on how many times you can flush. It is possible to make sure all material makes its way to Denver Water, rather than making your co-workers deal with your spent meatloaf dinner from last night before they have to pee. Another tip: If the bowl and seat aren't sparkling white as you go to open the door, you're doing it wrong. Let's treat this bathroom like a professional office environment, and not like a meth lab bathroom in Greeley.

related: THIS IS NOT A METH LAB

Tags: "helpful" advice · Colorado · most popular notes of 2013 · office · toilet