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Entries Tagged as 'United States'

(They match the plastic slipcover on the futon.)

May 7th, 2008 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” And yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking Lit 101 might describe as “Kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.

These towels were meant as decoration towels! Please don't use! Thanks :)

Adds our submitter: “These weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (Maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”

Towels for decoration only!

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!!

Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · college life · most popular notes of 2008 · roommates · smiley · Wisconsin

Perverse and often baffling

May 6th, 2008 · 120 Comments

Which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

Is it exhibit a, from New York’s West Village?

Please please please...no dogs

(Think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. Why the sunglasses? And not just any shades…but electric blue? Ditto, the sunflower.)

Exhibit b, From a casino in Cambodia?

(Does no crossed out mean…yes?)

Or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in Berlin?
Vitamine sind jetzt wichtig!

(Trust me: speaking German is no help here.)

If you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

Tags: Berlin · Cambodia · clip art catastrophe · Deutsche · dogs · New York · you be the judge

If your Grandma wrote PSAs

May 1st, 2008 · 157 Comments

J.Star says he found this passive-aggressive twist on the old RSPCA campaign/Scottish band in a Cincinnati parking lot. (Pet-lovers: just to let you know, it was crumpled up on the ground, not on his windshield.)

phpoJDUbk

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: Cincinnati · dogs · guilt trip · MYOB · spelling and grammar police

Oh, she said it.

April 30th, 2008 · 129 Comments

Ellen in San Francisco says this note is but the latest development in what has become a toilet paper-thin relationship with her passive-aggressive roommate. It started two months ago, she says, when her roommate “decided after six months of sharing that I was no longer allowed to use her toilet paper. I should mention that she never once asked me to chip in for toilet paper, and I never really had an opportunity to buy more because she bought it in bulk and we always had a huge supply.”

Ellen obliged “until this morning, when nature called and I had just run out.” When Ellen got home, this work of art (my favorite line: “now that we’ve settled this”) was waiting for her.

Do not use my toilet paper. I know you have done it before in the past but stop! And don't get made, we both know you do.

Adds Ellen: “Funnier still is that this roommate freaked out on another roommate for leaving a note. She yelled at her, ‘If you have a problem with me, talk to me, don’t leave me a note. Be an adult about it!’ Nice to see she followed her own advice.”

related: it always comes down to the toilet paper

Tags: bathroom · money · paper product fairy · roommates · San Francisco · smiley · toilet paper

The finest, most literary vagrants

April 29th, 2008 · 81 Comments

Writes an anonymous student at Binghamton University: “Some grad students are mad about the teaching load for TAs, so they have been putting up these posters in order to raise awareness.”

Adds our submitter (with a yawn): “I am now more aware of how douche-y they are.”

Disgruntled Graduate Students 2

Disgruntled Graduate Students Disgruntled Graduate Students 3

Disgruntled Graduate Students 4

related: Or take a cab!!!

Tags: Binghamton · blitzkrieg approach · college life · New York · raging against the machine

He died for your clip art

April 28th, 2008 · 67 Comments

I really thought it couldn’t get more egregious than this clip-art catastrophe from a church in Boston (left), which made this one (right) look downright tasteful in comparison.

this clip art must be stopped

But then, at a friend’s recent wedding, Carey in Northern Virginia spotted this note — complete with that same punchy little yellow smiley — on several doors of the church. (There are more than one, I suppose, so that when you do a double-take and ask yourself “Wait…did they really just go there?” you can rest assured that yes, they really did.)

Jesus DIED for you. Please silence your cell phone pager for Him before entering. Thank you!

The kicker? Before the service started, Carey says, “We spotted the priest up near the altar — chatting on his Razr.”

Meanwhile in guatemala, Boingboing‘s Xeni Jardin spotted a sign one might consider either more or less blasphemous depending on whether you’re a follower of Christ or of the principles of good design

 "TO TALK WITH GOD/YOU DON'T NEED A CELLPHONE/TURN IT OFF PLEASE"

(translation: “TO TALK WITH GOD/YOU DON’T NEED A CELLPHONE/TURN IT OFF PLEASE”)

And if you’re of a faith that prefers to talk directly to God’s intermediaries, you might prefer the approach of this Guatemalan church also documented by Xeni:

"Talk to me personally, I [will] listen to you. You do not need a cellphone. Yours truly, GOD."

“Talk to me personally,
I [will] listen to you.
You do not need a cellphone.
Yours truly,
GOD.”

related: Stop! In the name of clip art

extra credit: Crummy church signs

Tags: cell phone · clip art catastrophe · Espanol · Guatemala · guilt trip · Jesus · most popular notes of 2008 · Northern Virginia · Virginia · you're like so going to hell

Yahoo! in the toilet? Read the writing on the wall.

April 27th, 2008 · 48 Comments

What’s employee morale like inside Yahoo’s Sunnyvale headquarters, amid all the chatter about coming layoffs, the possible Microsoft takeover, and everything else? well, according to one anonymous Yahoo! employee, in the toilet would be one place to look.

Says our Yahoo! tipster: “First they took away our right to stand on the toilets. Then they took away our right to surf on the john. But now — they’ve gone too far.”

is yahoo! in the toilet? just read the writing on the wall.

related: Yahoo! — Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · group bitchfest · office · raging against the machine · saga · Silicon Valley · toilet · Yahoo

Two points for honesty

April 24th, 2008 · 226 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! :)”

I won't pay this, and you can't make me! :)

related: three cents for the saliva

Tags: Michigan · money · raging against the machine · smiley

The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

April 21st, 2008 · 137 Comments

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

I saw this ad and thought u might find his services helpful :P

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: "helpful" advice · office · Portland · smiley

And please don’t step on any cracks, either

April 16th, 2008 · 126 Comments

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”

PLEASE DO NOT EAT IN THE HOUSE THANKS MOM

“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

Tags: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought