Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Your move, “officer”

January 1st, 2008 · 63 Comments

Emily from Boston summed this one up beautifully, so I’m going to let her take it away. Writes Emily:

1. I’m not making this up.

2. The 389 Highland Ave referred to in the note is a shop called “Your Move Games.” They have a basement where dorky kids congregate and play D&D and WoW and such. Evidently the author and his six witnesses are patrons.


3. Not only is the number six circled, but it is underlined — not once, not twice, but three times.

4. Note the close up. Under the crossed out section it reads “go fuck yourself you corrupt [something i can't make out]. Whatever it was, he rethought his wording and decided to go with a subtler “you’re corrupt.”

I'm not paying this, you're corrupt.

Seriously, this note is a work of art.

related: nice try

Tags: gaming · Massachusetts · parking · raging against the machine · Somerville · that's illegal · the po-po

The sincerest form of passive-aggression

December 30th, 2007 · 45 Comments

Laura in Boston says one of the restrooms at her school is a real note bonanza. The inside of the stall features no fewer than four individual notes about proper flushing etiquette, and immediately outside the restroom are two (slightly contradictory notes) about proper door opening/closing procedure.

this is a single-person bathroom

But what’s most interesting? How a couple of those notes look awfully familiar...

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

related: Passive perfectionism; Et tu, Dora?

Tags: bathroom · blitzkrieg approach · Boston · meta · opening/closing · toilet

Office anthropomorphism

December 29th, 2007 · 65 Comments

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

USE ME RINSE ME + help keep me from getting ICKY! Thank you, Sponge

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

DID YOU FLUSH ME AND WIPE OFF MY SEAT????

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

I noticed I am not shut when people enter or exit. Please make sure I am shut upon exiting or entering. -The Door

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

If You Guys Don't Keep Me Clean I'm walking away from you If you don't Believe TRY M

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

Tags: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet

Well, ho ho ho

December 23rd, 2007 · 88 Comments

As we’ve seen this week, notes re: the neighbor’s constantly barking dog often end up being less passive-aggressive and more out-and-out aggressive. But as Matt noticed, this San Francisco resident was able to put a festive holiday spin on the old not-so-veiled threat.

NO ONE CAN BEAT UP SANTA YOU ARE GETTING CLOSE TO COALS P.S. I WANT THAT DOG FOR MY SLEIGH

related: Oh, the irony

Tags: Christmas · dogs · holiday spirit · neighbors · noise · San Francisco

And what’s your Christmas wish?

December 20th, 2007 · 105 Comments

Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!

If you're found sleeping on this porch, we will not disturb you or ask you to leave...we'll just call the police and have them haul your homeless ass away...so find somewhere else to sleep and piss

If you dog continues to bark past midnight, I will break into your home, steal it, and feed the little fucker to the homeless on Pearl Street. Happy Holidays

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Boulder · Christmas · dogs · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · piss · pleasantries as afterthought · the homeless

These walls are NOT soundproof.

December 18th, 2007 · 135 Comments

Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! Conversations and bodily function noises can be heard by others outside this room. THESE WALLS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?


Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting

Passive (voice) abuse

December 17th, 2007 · 155 Comments

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

I suspect illicit drug use

related: Don’t hate the playa

Tags: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento

Clip art crimes

December 16th, 2007 · 144 Comments

Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!

Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

If you are reading this sign and you are on your phone, please take your call to the atrium.

Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?

ATTENTION TEA DRINKERS!!

Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

Please Do Not Trash This Bathroom Thank You

related: Cubicle etiquette

Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · Boston · cell phone · clip art catastrophe · Jesus · Massachusetts · office · tea · Virginia · you be the judge · you're like so going to hell

Actually, we just hate you

December 13th, 2007 · 99 Comments

“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”

Holiday haters?

related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

Tags: D.C. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police

So much for turning the other cheek

December 13th, 2007 · 140 Comments

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

Dear Sinner, I specifically wrote on the box of Starbuck's Frappucino bars Don't Touch! But did that stop you. No instead you took the liberty of taking my last one!

related: but He took the wheel

Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell