Here, a break-up note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

related: you oughta know

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there’d be no books”

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

As far as post-coital “littering” goes, I’m guessing most dorm bathrooms have seen a lot worse than a pink t-shirt, no?

(And we certainly appreciate Matt in Greensboro for snapping the photo.)

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

“Living with your parents while still in college has it’s benefits (saving money and all) but it also has its drawbacks,” writes Laura in Springfield, Missouri. Primarily…boundaries.

“My parents regularly grab my mail and put it in a compartment on a desk in our kitchen, which I don’t always check,” Laura explains. Sometime shortly after Christmas, Laura’s mother left her daughter a thank-you note. (An oddly formal gesture, but at least she didn’t actually lick a stamp and mail it first.)

The trouble arose several weeks later, when Mom discovered the note — still unopened — mixed in with Laura’s other mail. Her reaction? Another note, of course.

On that note…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

related: I can has guilt trip?

Jessica from Chicago spotted this gem at a Boston-area Starbucks.

Notes Jessica: “I wonder if all that special barista training they had recently included anything about dictating the topic of conversations allowed?”

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong

Our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” And yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking Lit 101 might describe as “Kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.

Adds our submitter: “These weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (Maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!!