Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Now finish up them taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

November 2nd, 2007 · 488 Comments

Writes Tessa, who works at a restaurant in Albuquerque: “The day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (I’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

now finish up them taters, i'm gonna go fondle my sweaters

Tags: Albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police

Pumpkin with a death wish

October 31st, 2007 · 82 Comments

Sarah in Richmond says this jack-o-lantern appeared just minutes ago near the stairs to her apartment. We’ll call this the “before” shot…

QUIT STOMPING

Stay tuned for the “after” photo: punkin stomped to bits by contrarian trick-or-treaters.

Happy Halloween, kids!

Tags: Halloween · neighbors · noise · Richmond

The “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

October 31st, 2007 · 215 Comments

My former roommate Eric inspired this roundup (and an overly dramatic round of gagging/hair-pulling/eye-gouging on my part) by passing along a photo of this sign spotted on Marco Island, Florida — though it could have been anywhere on Main Street, USA. (Note the small print at top, which reads: “Signs sold in our gift shop.”)

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

I think the only thing that could make this sign more irritating would be if it said — shudder — “expresso.” This sign must be stopped!

Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a free puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy

We love kids, but please keep yours at your table! Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy. Thanks

Wandering children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy to take home! Thank you!

Children Left Unattended Will Be Given An Espresso And A Puppy

Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy

Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a Free Puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

related: Unattended children will be shot

Tags: "customer service" · Florida · kids

Wake me up? Wham!

October 30th, 2007 · 248 Comments

Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.

no excuse

Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…

no joke

Tags: cell phone · more aggressive than passive · New York · noise · not-so-veiled threats · San Jose · sig o · signed with love

Nice try

October 29th, 2007 · 203 Comments

Lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in Greenwich Village. That bit of orange there? Yup, that would be a ticket.

To parking cop:  This is a moped, not a motorcycle. This engine is smaller than that of a scooter's even (think vespa). Therefore it should be fine to lock up on the sidewalk.

Tags: excessive underlining · New York · parking · raging against the machine · scooters & mopeds · that's illegal · the po-po · woulda shoulda coulda

Come get some

October 26th, 2007 · 148 Comments

Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”

I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.

Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

Tags: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels

it’s not, like, rocket science

October 25th, 2007 · 124 Comments

aarwenn from seattle found this note in her office’s cafeteria, which she says is a hot spot for bad writers with passive-aggressive issues. “of course,” she says, “here at Large Aerospace Company, a lot of us have ‘issues.’”

Tags: fun with euphemism · garbage · just wondering · office · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

They were shivering, not dancing

October 24th, 2007 · 142 Comments

Chris has held on to this note from his college days at SUNY Binghamton since 1990, which I believe makes this the oldest note to grace this site thus far.

The years seem to have given him some perspective on the situation, and Chris fully admits to being the apartment’s “thermostat tyrant,” always nagging everyone to turn down the heat at night (to 55 degrees) and especially over holidays and long weekends. But this note from his roommate was apparently enough to show him the error of his ways.

Chris - Yes, the heat was on 60 degrees all weekend. I was afraid about my hamster's health. Please write date + time for my death below. Kill hamster too? (Check yes or no)

After this, Chris says, “I did relax with the thermostat nagging, I think.” (The hamster was unavailable for comment.)

related: We ALL live here

Tags: Binghamton · college life · New York · roommates · smartass · temperature

“You should know it can come back and bite you in the ass.”

October 22nd, 2007 · 142 Comments

This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.

Dan, Thought I would hear from you this week. I guess no interest. Part of the deal in life is you make commitments and stick to them, particularly   in the sales process. It really is quite alarming these days that companies such as yours cannot adhere to basic ethics. Such a shame. I guess that's why you'll always be that straight line with no growth. Too bad. At some point you have to look at yourselves and say we are so happy with 35 accounts or do we want to jump to the next level. I no [sic] my experience 25 year old kids won't get you there. You have to invest in ability. I don't know that much about you guys, except what I have researched. My suggestion is in the long term bring in people who have the knowledge, ability and relationship superiority to win. And also, don't blow off the people who tried. You guys should know it can come back and bite you in the ass. Some of us have a rather large influence.

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Kansas City · office · spelling and grammar police

If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge?

October 21st, 2007 · 244 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge.

When asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.”

If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

related: Cubicle etiquette

Tags: a little uptight · excessive underlining · inappropriate italics · let's try · office · office cop · office fridge · oh snap · San Diego