Entries Tagged as 'United States'
My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people over the past few months, with good reason.
I think the dogged persistence of the note-writer is pretty incredible in its own right, but even better is what the note doesn’t quite explain: these bags weren’t just being stolen — some “juvenile/adult delinquent” was also cutting the bottom of the bags, then putting them back for the next unsuspecting dog-walking victim. Oh, shit!
(Thanks to William, Kathleen, Elaine, Sarah, T-1-11, and JM for submitting!)
related: What is it about dog crap that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?
Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · dogs · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · Park Slope · saga · shit · unnecessary "quotation marks"
This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)
“Apparently I needed to help pay for the growing Internet bill,” says our anonymous submitter from Boston. “This was the only way I was notified: no connection and a wireless LAN reprogrammed with a new password.”
But password-protecting your network is actually a relatively direct (and dare I say, more effective) approach compared to this…
Tags: actions speak louder · Boston · money · roommates
PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.
related: Your to lazy
extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · landlords and property managers · loitering · most popular notes of 2007 · New Jersey · Newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism
Says our anonymous contributor from Los Angeles: “This is page three (!) of a three-page letter of complaints from my wife’s (ex) office manager to the heads of the company.” Apparently one of her co-workers, Jake, merited his own page. (No word on how this went over with the bosses.)
Tags: bullet points · cell phone · flatulence · food · Los Angeles · loud talker · noise · oatmeal · office · tea · that's disgusting
Writes Tessa, who works at a restaurant in Albuquerque: “The day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (I’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)
Tags: Albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police
Sarah in Richmond says this jack-o-lantern appeared just minutes ago near the stairs to her apartment. We’ll call this the “before” shot…
Stay tuned for the “after” photo: punkin stomped to bits by contrarian trick-or-treaters.
Happy Halloween, kids!
Tags: Halloween · neighbors · noise · Richmond
My former roommate Eric inspired this roundup (and an overly dramatic round of gagging/hair-pulling/eye-gouging on my part) by passing along a photo of this sign spotted on Marco Island, Florida — though it could have been anywhere on Main Street, USA. (Note the small print at top, which reads: “Signs sold in our gift shop.”)
I think the only thing that could make this sign more irritating would be if it said — shudder — “expresso.” This sign must be stopped!
related: Unattended children will be shot
Tags: "customer service" · Florida · kids
Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.
Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…
Tags: cell phone · more aggressive than passive · New York · noise · not-so-veiled threats · San Jose · sig o · signed with love
Lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in Greenwich Village. That bit of orange there? Yup, that would be a ticket.
Tags: excessive underlining · New York · parking · raging against the machine · scooters & mopeds · that's illegal · the po-po · woulda shoulda coulda