Entries Tagged as 'United States'

You gotta keep ’em separated

October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

OK, WE GIVE UP!

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

October 17th, 2007 · 207 Comments

Keith spotted this note in the employee break room of a clothing store outside of Hartford, Conn.

The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”

Dear Vending Machine Person.  Please make sure that your are changing the selection tabs when you update the drinks. Gatorade (although delicious) is not Iced Tea, and Fanta is not Iced Tea, neither is Coke. Thanks for your cooperation.

(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)

related: fucking delicious

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · Coke · Connecticut · Hartford · vending machine drama

Your to lazy

October 15th, 2007 · 178 Comments

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”

IT'S FALL! HERE ARE A FEW UPDATES AND SEVERAL COMPLAINTS!

this no the ghetto

more surprises

Now, for the complaints…

Tags: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're

This shit is bananas

October 11th, 2007 · 96 Comments

Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”

It's been, umm, an interesting three years.

related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails

Tags: "helpful" advice · Dallas/Fort Worth · e-mail · farewell letter · office · spelling and grammar police

Wrath mat

October 10th, 2007 · 163 Comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”

New occupants of Apt. 3C. Your incredibly bad taste, and warped mentality, are not welcome in our mutually shared space.

Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”

related: Really, enough with the weather

Tags: a matter of taste · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · etiquette · kids today · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · New York

Can I lick it?

October 8th, 2007 · 98 Comments

No, you can’t  — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.

Please use the sticky finger & not saliva

Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)

Please do not lick this teaspoon; it's for collective use

And the licking doesn’t stop there…

PUBLIC NOTICE: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM LICKING OUR WINDOWS

Do not Lick Pressurized Lumber

DO NOT LICK

DO NOT LICK FENCE

P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Espanol · Indianapolis · licking · Madrid · office · Spain

Losing Lisa

October 3rd, 2007 · 156 Comments

Gina from Santa Cruz lives in a dorm where ten girls share one bathroom. Says gina, “I love saga notes, and feel we need some more of them, so I figured this collection would certainly do the trick.” Indeed, Gina, indeed! The progression here from pleasantries and smileys to — well, you’ll see — is classic. And a webmd.com citation? Major bonus points.

Dear girls

dear nasty motherfucker

body hair is unsanitary

This floor is home to PIGS

Gina also sent in a (small-ish) photo of the whole scene.

UPDATE: Gina responds to team fake!

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time

Tags: "helpful" advice · all clogged up · bathroom · college life · die bitch die · eww · excessive underlining · internet citation · It's science! · mean girls · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · note wars · rebuttals · saga · Santa Cruz · shower · smiley · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

Going up?

October 2nd, 2007 · 53 Comments

Anna brings us this charitable little note from the her apartment building in London, Ontario.

“Anytime Stan” — proof that Canadians really are the nicest people on earth?

p.p.s. and lay off the corn!

Meanwhile, in Milwaukee

Many thanks to whoever puked in here...

And lastly, a vaguely dadaist interpretation, in what very well may be another one of L.A.’s elevator-cum-film sets.

related: cross-country elevator action

Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · elevator · ellipses-crazed · Los Angeles · Milwaukee · neighbors · Ontario · p.s. · vomit

3 cents for the saliva

October 1st, 2007 · 91 Comments

Thanks to Gina in Flemington, New Jersey for forwarding along these e-mails between a coworker and her former roommate regarding a $22 gas bill. Click to enlarge!

Tags: e-mail · just wondering · money · New Jersey · rebuttals · roommates

Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

September 30th, 2007 · 99 Comments

Presenting, for your analysis, this anonymous contribution from a hair salon in Bettendorf, Iowa (pop. 32,394). For the scatologically inclined vandal (and for Putz’s owner) the unconscious issues at play appear to be anything but borderline. College psych majors: care to address which stage of psychosexual development is associated with passive-aggressiveness?

To the Poop Planting Bandit

related: I can’t stand this shit anymore

UPDATE: Here’s a little more backstory on the situation from our note’s submitter. (Warning: this might confuse more than it illuminates.)

the owner of a salon i work at posted this for the individual that had placed dog poop in the corridor that is shared by other businesses. they left the feces in the hallway shortly after her and her st. bernard, putz, arrived to work. putz goes everywhere with her. for the past eight months he’s grown tremendously, and his massive size at this point has freaked out other store owners. putz sleeps in the back room and he has suburb potty training skills — and his owner always picks up after him.

the landlord approached her [re: the feces in the hallway] and said he was very bothered by the possible health code concern. he later told her not to worry about it, seeing how it was totally impossible for putz to let himself out the back door, take a dump in the corridor, then turn around and open the door to let himself back in.

someone kept tearing down her note, so she added the written message at the bottom.

Tags: dogs · Freudian shit · Iowa · office · rebuttals · shit