Entries Tagged as 'United States'

Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?

September 20th, 2007 · 335 Comments

Mona in Los Angeles brings us this pair of notes from her high-rise Century City office building.  Says Mona, “Apparently my co-worker saw the panties at issue. My question is…who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

My question: Why are we letting Paris and Britney off the hook? If they actually remember to wear them, shouldn’t we encourage keeping them on?

some sound advice

And then there’s this one, which brings up the old mad bomber-era debate about which gender leaves the bathrooms in worse shape.

are you there, margaret? god, clean up after yourself already!


Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · bathroom · bodily fluids · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · danger · excessive underlining · group bitchfest · hygiene · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2007 · office · that's disgusting

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 Comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

Tags: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

September 19th, 2007 · 151 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
Now I realize that you may have temporarily lost your conscious sense of things, however, please return my socks and my large spoon with the silver end. Thank you

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.

Thank you got taking (stealing) my towel and dryer sheets! Because of YOU I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry - I don't know if you are going to steal my clothes. YOU SUCK.

Tags: excessive underlining · laundry · neighbors · Portland · Sacramento · spoons · stealing · thanks (but not really)

The bark heard ‘cross the country

September 17th, 2007 · 214 Comments

So, our anonymous submitter had lived at her house in Austin, Texas for about two months when she went out of town for the weekend. For the two days while she was gone, she left her dog outside in the yard. Three weeks later, her landlord — who lives at a completely different address — received this note via U.S. mail…postmarked Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Your tenant at 490 Caswell has her dog outside all day and night. It barks at everything. Tell her to shut that dog up.

a little creepy, right?

Tags: Austin · dogs · neighbors · noise

At least it wasn’t “Grand Valse”

September 16th, 2007 · 191 Comments

According to a 2006 Harris poll, office-workers say annoying ringtones are one of their biggest pet peeves — second only to office loud talkers. So I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more notes like this one, which Flickr’s Heather Champ found taped to her (chirping) cell phone once upon a time.

ringtone.jpg

What’s your pick for the most obnoxious ringtone award?

Tags: cell phone · Mobile · more aggressive than passive · office · San Francisco · Yahoo

She slipped the registrar 30 pieces of silver

September 14th, 2007 · 180 Comments

This note, from the science library of Washington & Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, has a bit of a backstory.

Explains our anonymous submitter: “Here, you can reserve a carrel for the entire school year, with two students to a carrel. Our honor system is such that people leave their books and belongings at their carrel basically all the time.” Our submitter caught sight of this little exchange and sneakily made a photocopy to share with us. (Oh, and FYI: “A&P,” our submitter says, refers to Anatomy and Physiology — a popular course that generally only seniors get into.)

To the Judas who is sharing my carrol [sic],  As if it were not enough that you betrayed me & took the A&P class that I could not get in; You have also decided to flaunt the forementioned [sic] book on my carrol [sic]. You may be heartless. Heart, Your carrol (sp?) mate!

Tags: college life · library · martyr complex · rebuttals · sharing is caring · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · Virginia

Dear Vandal

September 13th, 2007 · 169 Comments

“Random people seem to have a lot of fun vandalizing Portland’s many bus stops,” says Kathryn. “Several of the stops I use frequently have had their schedules removed, which is oh-so-helpful. The other day when I went to the stop in front of my office to go home, I noticed this little note. They even took the time to laminate it!”

Dear Vandal, It's not my fault that Mommy didn't love you, and I never touched your pee-pee as a child. Why take your anger out on my bus schedule? Kill yourself. It's cooler.

Tags: die bitch die · Portland · rhetorical question · vandalism

Two points for chutzpah, but zero for originality

September 11th, 2007 · 100 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Corte Madera, California: “We have a lot of passive-aggressive notes up around the office, and most of them are addressed to the entire office staff in common areas. You can imagine my surprise when after eating lunch and going out for a smoke break with some coworkers today, we came back to find a bit of passive-aggressiveness on our lunch table — not 15 minutes after we had left it. Grrrrr.”

Clean up after your eat. (Wipe the food off the table and put the chairs back where they belong.) Just like the kitchen, Your mother doesn't work here either.

More choice guilt-trips from this office — including yet another “your mother doesn’t work here” note, follow.

This is a trashcan. It is not a recycling bin. If you turn around, you will find the recycling bin sandwiched between the fridge and the coffee pot. There is really no excuse not to recycle with it's so accessible. You're keeping waste out of landfills and taking a small step to help save the environment.

Note to self: If it's too hard for you to close these doors, maybe you shouldn't be opening them. (Ooo, sassy!)

Wash your dishes & silverware please, your mom doesn't work here

related: Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guilt trip · kitchen · Moms & Dads · office · oh snap · opening/closing · recycling · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Processed-Food Fiend

September 10th, 2007 · 84 Comments

As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.

Things that we know have been stolen from this refrigerator recently

The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.

Tags: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem

A fancy feast

September 4th, 2007 · 126 Comments

Joshua brings us this amazing pair of notes from his apartment building in Philly.

The backstory: “A bulk package of cat food (probably 20 or so cans) was delivered and sat in the hallway for about 4 or 5 days.  We could see what it was because the sides of the package were cardboard, but the top was clear plastic. (Like what you’d find at Costco).  On day 3 or 4 of the cat food being left in the hallway, the plastic had been torn back and a few cans were taken.” The next day, the package was claimed, and this note appeared…

Many thanks to whoever opened up a package that was addressed to me, and stole $19 worth of cat food. Opening up someone else's mail is a federal offense. I hope your cat chokes on the food. :)

Two days later — luckily, after Joshua snapped a photo — the note disappeared. In its place…

To whomever put up the note wishing death upon something's cat over $20, I (ZF) took the note down. I didn't steal your cat's food. I don't have a cat. Did you consider the evil felon who stole your cat's food doesn't live here? There have been a number of workers in the building lately and the food sat there for days. Anyway, I found the note irritating and a little weird (wish cats dead and all) and took it down.

A day later, the response note was torn down, too.

Tags: cats · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Philadelphia · rebuttals · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's illegal