Our submitter’s friend in Columbia, Missouri found this on the ground beneath a tree yesterday, “and she couldn’t just leave it there. It really was the perfect tree for climbing.”

(And the accompanying note really does have the perfect rhythm for a call-a-response revival stomp, no? I’d love to see what the Gregory Brothers could do with this…)

UPDATE: The Sneaky Mister has made my year!

related: Grow some thicker bark, why donttcha?

Apparently, your mother does work at the Clemson University computer lab. Now take some responsibility for yourself, child!

related: These yogurts are expired. What should we do?

These notes — the first from on office in California, the second from an office in Arkansas — both seem like they’re following the same not-quite-finished flowchart for acceptable office paper usage.

Really, you’re in for a scolding no matter what. And as our submitter Hannah noticed — in this bizarre exchange from the copy room at a school in Spartanburg, South Carolina — contrition only seems to further incense the office Paper Nazis.

related: Nothing fosters community like shared networked printers!

“My 1-year-old likes to play with hair when she’s sleepy,” writes Michelle in Columbia, South Carolina…a habit which apparently didn’t go over so well at day care with the fair-haired Ms. Linda. [Hahahaha RAGE BLACKOUT emoticon!!!!]

related: We talked about the “stabbing” incident yesterday.

“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.

These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).

To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.

Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado

And so on and so forth.

But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece,  spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

Just in case gas prices aren’t hurting you enough lately, Tim from Madison, Wisconsin brings us this stomach-turning (yet impressively restrained) note from a petrol station somewhere en route to Green Bay.

Meanwhile, Tonya in Oakland passes along a photo taken by a traveler brave/desperate enough to actual enter a gas station restroom somewhere in Utah.

And finally, the kicker, from Jim in Columbia, S.C. —  who would’ve guessed that germaphobia and gas-station employment aren’t mutually exclusive?

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.

related: And pull up your pants

Writes Jake in Los Angeles: “At home for Christmas (in Greenville, South Carolina) I mentioned in passing that I would ‘try’ to make it home for Easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.”

Jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.

related: Too many