Entries Tagged as 'Tennessee'

The Paper Towel Apocalypse

April 29th, 2013 · 50 Comments

It you want people to actually pay attention to your bathroom signage, it’s go big or go home. This one certainly made Jennifer in Tennessee take notice.

Ladies, Please do not put any paper/plastic products in the toilet paper other than toilet paper (ie paper towels, feminine hygiene products, etc). This is hugely important as these toilets are directly connected to the epicenter of the planet earth and the world will end is a cataclysmic explosion of apocalyptic proportions if anything, other than toilet paper, is placed inside. We have provided these cute, little silver trash cans for your convenience...and to help you save the world from certain destruction. Thank you.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: all clogged up · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · Tennessee · toilet

Wild as a mink but sweet as (broken bottles of) soda pop

March 28th, 2013 · 53 Comments

This interesting counterpoint to yesterday’s “multi-offensive” North Dakota screed was spotted by Amanda in the mountains of good ol’ East Tennessee. It was posted near a rope swing across a river, a popular place for swimming, breaking beer bottles, and, apparently, educating the next generation of foul-mouthed note-writers.

Hey asshole yeah you, you dumb redneck. Instead breaking glass bottles where my kids swim, can't u screw ur cousin instead? They have about the same entertainment value...I'm told. Or do us all a favor & screw a broken bottle. Fukn jerks

related: Roadside Intervention

Tags: small town living · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · Tennessee · that's trashy

Why do you ruin each day of my life?

March 5th, 2013 · 48 Comments

Belinda in Tennessee says her six-year-old daughter wrote this note “after I refused to let her try to glue a bouncy ball back onto the elastic of the paddle toy it had broken off of.”

Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I'll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.

Translation (for those who don’t speak six-year-old):
Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I’ll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.

Meanwhile, redditor thinkboxutah’s 7-year-old son put this together after getting grounded.

I hate my life

related: Just…poop.

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes · Tennessee

This discombobulation will not stand.

May 7th, 2012 · 30 Comments

“While stopping for our millionth potty break,” a road-tripping Rachel from Atlanta pondered the circumstances that could have inspired this intolerable discombobulation at a Tennessee gas station. “I don’t know what happened,” she says, “but that’s a hell of a lot of exclamation marks!!!”

Discombobulation of the cooler will no longer be tollerated [sic]!!! If you to STOCK or DELIVER, YOU will take out your trash and keep it NICE AND CLEAN!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

p.s. dis·com·bob·u·la·tion, noun — confusion: a feeling of embarrassment that leaves you confused

related: Pain (and disgust) at the pump

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · gas station · Tennessee

Your guardian angel just wants you to get ‘bikini ready’

May 26th, 2011 · 56 Comments

In this episode of targeted advertising gone awry, Jill in Nashville went the grocery store and bought a bag of chocolate chips (“to make cookies for work”) and one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (“just one, mind you!”)

If Jill sounds a little defensive, that’s probably because  — thanks to some disarmingly deadpan algorithms — she received this perky little coupon along with her receipt.

Slim-Fast! Kick start your diet!

Meanwhile, a submitter in Ohio was about to reach for the Cherry Garcia — but stopped short when she spotted this “sign from above.”

I think we both know you don't need this, brochacho.

related: Are you calling me fat?

Tags: bad sales pitch · food · hey fatty · ice cream · Nashville · Ohio

On second thought…just keep it.

November 9th, 2010 · 53 Comments

Emily spotted this please in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. (“I think the ‘women’s college’ portion is the imperative detail here,” she adds.)

Please give me back my razor. I understand if you can't afford to buy new razors; I can't either. (I've had to borrow razors from friends.) Besides which, the Venus razor you stole VIBRATES. Did you REALLY think I only used it for SHAVING? No joke. PLEASE RETURN IT

Meanwhile, I’m still a little suspicious of the fact that this person seems dead-set on getting this razor — a razor that has been presumably been used by someone else —  returned for her own use. I’m assuming it’s one of those replacable-head types, but even so, you still run the risk of come face-to-face with something like this — a Venus razor used by a roommate of Kayla in Tennessee:

If only there was an easy way to get Hepatitis C...

It’s hard to think of something less appropriately named after the goddess of love and beauty, no?

related: Enjoy the toothbrush!

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bathroom · college life · hygiene · New York · stealing · Tennessee · that's unsanitary · TMI

¡Bienvenido! Mi casa no es su casa.

April 21st, 2010 · 183 Comments

“I pass this billboard every day on my way home from work,” says our submitter from Tennessee. “Apparently, some tax breaks were given for Volkswagen to build a plant here in Chattanooga, which will eventually bring thousands of jobs to this area. This group is upset that not EVERYONE who is involved in constructing the plant was born in the United States.”

Tennessee welcomes all the workers from OTHER COUNTRIES who are building the Volkswagen plant.   We hope you enjoy those jobs...BECAUSE WE PAID FOR THEM!

A side note from Ana in Guatemala (fifth flag from the left): “Guatemala is a very beautiful — albeit dangerous — country. Crime rates are through the roof, but in this small American-run inn, hope prevails…mostly.”

BIENVENIDO WELCOME Please leave your your bags here.. They are 99.9% safe BUT... We do not accept responsibility

related: America the not-so-beautiful

Tags: "customer service" · casual xenophobia · Espanol · Guatemala · politics · sarcasm · Tennessee

Just, you know, [TMI] FYI

March 5th, 2010 · 77 Comments

Alexandra and her best friend David were thrift-store shopping in Memphis, Tennessee when they spotted this sign (in the restroom, this time…not the fitting room).

What I love about this one is that, unlike most of its kind, this notice doesn’t issue any kind of directive (e.g. “Hey nitwits, don’t flush the merchandise!!!”), nor does it directly address the salient issue at hand (Does the toilet actually work now, or not?). Because, really, a simple “Out of Order” sign would have sufficed, if the latter were the case. Instead, it’s just like, “This one time, at band camp…”

SomeOne wiped with Childs T-Shirt and placed in Comode [sic] and flushed - rendering plumbing completely clogged. Thank-you

In place of “Thank You,” I think it should say “The End.” Or maybe: “Who the hell wipes with a child’s T-shirt?!”

related: What is it about thrift store dressing rooms?

Tags: all clogged up · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · Tennessee · TMI · toilet

The penny is the most passive-aggressive coin.

February 23rd, 2010 · 119 Comments

“Due to budget issues,” writes our submitter from Nashville, “coffee in our office is now funded through donations by those who drink it.” (Cost: 50 cents per cup, on the honor system.)

While some office workers no doubt continue to fill their cups without paying, the passive-aggressives in this office found their own way to convey their distaste for the new policy.

Putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act.

related: Paying through the spout

extra credit: Phasing out pennies in a bid for change [NPR.org]

Tags: coffee · money · Nashville · office

What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

April 7th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Joanna from San Diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Writes Joanna: “I love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. Delicious!”

What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

related: no, He uses vaseline

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · martyr complex · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks · stealing · Tennessee