“My next-door neighbor has some problems with controlling her rage,” says Guy in Austin. So when the apartment manager wouldn’t force her upstairs neighbors to take down their bird feeder — on the grounds that the resulting bird crap from above constituted plant harassment — she wasn’t about to let the issue drop quietly.
Meanwhile, Lucas brings us this report of a uncontrollable botanophile on the loose at his office in Toronto.
Alejandro found this note posted in the men’s toilet of his Santa Monica office building. “All I know is the guy that does this also uses half a roll of TP,” Alejandro says, “so he’s disgusting AND he hates the environment.”
UPDATE: Yes, it’s true: women’s toilets are often left in just as “discussing” a state as the one above. As Amanda in Austin recounts: “Somebody at my work had a terribly disgusting accident in the restroom that they did not clean up, and the custodians weren’t too happy. Neither were all the other women in the building. (And though it took place in the handicap-accessible stall, as far as we know, nobody in the building is disabled.)” A trifling matter? I think not.
Hey, so do you remember hearing about how crazy cat ladies might be explained by the Toxoplasma parasite? (No? Then listen to this episode of Radiolab. It’s pretty awesome.) Well, Toxo may or may not explain these notes.
Exhibit a) Spotted by Shane at an office in Upland, California…
Exhibit b) From an apartment building in Austin, Texas…
This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.
Writes Linda in Austin, Texas: “This note popped up a few months ago on my downstairs neighbor’s door, but I didn’t take a look at it until now.” But how much longer will it be before she garners an invite from this gracious host?
Our defendant, Lee in Austin, was just finishing off a travel-sized toothpaste from a recent business trip when Lee’s roommate — apparently oblivious to this small change in routine — became convinced that Lee was mooching off her tube of Advance White.
“My roommate told my boyfriend that she had left me ‘a note,’ and about a week later he asked me if I had seen it. I had not, because, in fact, I had never touched her damn toothpaste. But now, every time I reach for my toothpaste, I see this.”
And by the way, adds Lee, “She [said roommate] is currently out of shampoo.”
To our grandchild, in the spirit not of love, but of familial duty:
We hope you're healthy and everything in your life is going well...but we just can't bring ourselves to accept the idea of any of the people you care about also being healthy and happy. In short, we're OK with you being happy, but anyone close to you, well, they'd just better be having a rotten time.