Entries Tagged as 'Texas'

But He took the wheel

September 27th, 2007 · 105 Comments

Summer from Decatur, Georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in Galveston, Texas.

Dear fellow Christian, The lawns of homeowners on this street are not public parking. Please

Stealing Hot Pockets is apparently not the only thing that Jesus wouldn’t do.

Where Would Jesus Park?

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JESUS MIGHT LOVE YOU BUY YOUR REAR TYRES ARE BALD!!

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

Tags: Cincinnati · Decatur · Galveston · Jesus · parking · Texas · the lawn

The bark heard ‘cross the country

September 17th, 2007 · 214 Comments

So, our anonymous submitter had lived at her house in Austin, Texas for about two months when she went out of town for the weekend. For the two days while she was gone, she left her dog outside in the yard. Three weeks later, her landlord — who lives at a completely different address — received this note via U.S. mail…postmarked Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Your tenant at 490 Caswell has her dog outside all day and night. It barks at everything. Tell her to shut that dog up.

a little creepy, right?

Tags: Austin · dogs · neighbors · noise

Containing as much or as many as is possible or normal

August 8th, 2007 · 50 Comments

In all fairness, says Brandi in Austin, “This note was written after our dishes became so caked with fungus that we had to buy new stuff. The smell was also REALLY bad.”

NOTICE!!! *Please Commence Immediately* To anyone who Lives, Naps, Shits, Farts, Eats, Sleeps, Fucks, Rests, OR DOES ANYTHING in this house: This is including but not limited to: Brandi, Summer, Keiran, Jason, Peter, Jonathan, Mary, ANYONE!! (Guests are not excluded) PLEASE DO NOT leave dirty dishes, old beer bottles, half eaten shit, or any trash strewn about the apt. If the trash can is full, PLEASE empty it and replace the bag. (If there any other questions about the definition of full, see m-w.com) Try to clean off any plates and dirty cups for placement in the dishwasher. The WHOLE COLLECTIVE would appreciate it greatly. Thank you, owners/operators

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: Austin · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · internet citation · lOWERCASE l · obnoxious definition · roommates · shit · Texas

Try a bite.

June 13th, 2007 · 23 Comments

A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?

STOP eating my soup! I know who you are. I'm watching you. I mixed a little OxyPowder in my soup today. Care to find out what that is?? Try a bite.

If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.

Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing