Emily in Texas remembers her parents being convinced she was most uncouth child ever born — they even sent her to etiquette school to clean up her act. Well, she got a rude reminder of those days when she found this birthday card in the back of her closet.
![Dear Daughter, We wish you [a] very Happy 7th Birthday and hope you will make us proud of you by doing everything better [particularly] on your [manners]. from Mom & Dad](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8180/8039635624_6e78d7c559.jpg "Dear Daughter, We wish you [a] very Happy 7th Birthday and hope you will make us proud of you by doing everything better [particularly] on your [manners]. from Mom & Dad")
related: Happy Valentine’s Day from Mom
Tags: birthday · etiquette · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · Texas
Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!
Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”
related: My Secretary, Sybil
Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching
This Sunday’s scatological sermon comes to us from Heather in Denver, Colorado:
With a special reading from Lisa in Houston, Texas:
related: A nasty twist on “Man bites Dog”
Tags: Denver · God · Houston · shit · toilet · toilet paper
Well, now that dog shaming is officially a thing…
…it was really only a matter of time before we moved onto the shaming of non-sentient beings.
related: Nutranot-so-sweet
Tags: beverages · public shaming · San Antonio · vending machine drama
Writes Stephanie in Houston: “Looks like someone got a little tired of folding shirts.”
related: Thanks for NOT shopping here!
Tags: Houston · retail hell
Nathan says this sign has been up in his South Texas hometown for several years now. He’s checked back every once in a while, but so far, no updates have materialized.
Perhaps Jimmy should have sprung for this deal?
related: The Window of Shame
Tags: family · money · public shaming · small town living · Texas
This [plagiarized] note comes to us from a staff restroom at NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “This is just great,” says our submitter. “We can put a 7-degrees-of-freedom robotic arm in space that can build a space station, but we can’t get a ‘wall robot’ to work…or even send in a work order request to get it fixed.”
Neil DeGrasse Tyson, would you care to test out this motion sensor hand towel machine for yourself?
Aaaaand…there you have it.
related: It’s not rocket science.
extra credit: “Nice Work If You Can Get It” [This American Life]
Tags: bathroom · Houston · office · thanks (but not really)
At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”
And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.
related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?
Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · ellipses-crazed · message to all intended for one · odor · shit
