Entries Tagged as 'Texas'

Oh! Shit!

July 15th, 2009 · 168 Comments

Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

DO NOT PUT ANY!!! FECES IN THIS CONTAINER!!!!!!

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”

IF YOU SHIT!! THEN YOU SPRAY!!

Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”

related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · Pennsylvania · shit · Texas

Know sweat

July 7th, 2009 · 92 Comments

Writes Jaime in Austin: “My husband and I lift weights at Gold’s Gym and we love it (no, really!) — except for their new signage reminding people to mop up their sweat.”

Know you can wipe off the machine when you're done. (No, really you can.)

Meanwhile, next door…

(Well, sort of.) Kathryn spotted this similarly understated/backhanded message in an upscale Orlando, Florida boutique.

NOTICE WELCOME  Dear ladies,  Please, ladies if you just worked out next door and not showered we ask for your consideration, please do not try any clothing.   Thank you, Management

related: Like a rotten sponge

Tags: Austin · gym · hygiene · Orlando · retail hell

The analog version of a Facebook wall post

June 1st, 2009 · 160 Comments

This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.

I just wanted to tell you that you are a very sweet person & you're very loving towards the friends that love you back, no matter what anybody says

related: Facebook, a place for frenemies

Tags: Austin · college life · frenemies · mean girls · roommates · signed with love · whiteboard

Your are welcome to our home

May 22nd, 2009 · 156 Comments

Writes Linda in Austin, Texas: “This note popped up a few months ago on my downstairs neighbor’s door, but I didn’t take a look at it until now.” But how much longer will it be before she garners an invite from this gracious host?

your are welcome to our home

related: why you don’t want to go to b-school, in two words

Tags: Austin · CAPS LOCK · neighbors · spelling and grammar police

I’ll have u know

May 6th, 2009 · 290 Comments

A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way,  not the craft store.)

I c ur mad

In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!

related: friends don’t lie 2 friends

Tags: Austin · e-mail · kids today · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers · signed with love · spelling and grammar police

And a very happy Earth Day to you!

April 22nd, 2009 · 87 Comments

Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”

Thanks so much for not wasting water on doing the dishes

related: Al Gore knows you drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Tags: a little patronizing · dishes · Houston · office · thanks (but not really) · The Earth

Filthy, and very nasty

April 21st, 2009 · 169 Comments

Writes Tim in Berkeley: “Although this note is over 17 years old, I think it’s still worth submitting, at the very least as an example of notes from a bygone era. I received this note from the apartment manager when I was a senior at Rice University, living in an off-campus apartment. Admittedly, I wasn’t the cleanest tenant — but what 20-year-old college kid living alone in a studio apartment is?”

Sorry about this, but what I have said is the truth.

Adds Tim: “The really sad thing was that I had cleaned my apartment before this note — she should have seen the place before!”

related: be informed, homeland security will be

Tags: cleaning · college life · Houston · landlords and property managers · Texas · that's disgusting

A day in the life of a crank

April 15th, 2009 · 172 Comments

What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Dear gar. sale persons: if you just put out signs, you would have no "early birds." Why advert. in Chronicle then say no early? Don't advert. there. Just put out signs. They'll come - but later. Wear earplugs.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?

But what about Hawaiian shirt day?

March 23rd, 2009 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”

so, life is still good!

But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the fact that at the time this message was sent, only one person in the office (Glenn) happened to have long sideburns and a “fun” faux hawk. So, gosh darn it, life is still good!

related: the classic all-staff e-mail

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · Texas

Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

March 22nd, 2009 · 221 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found several copies of this notice posted around her McMansion-filled neighborhood in Leander, Texas, just five charmingly rustic miles north of Austin proper. (If you’re a little short in the 4-H ribbon department, that’s your cue to shake your head and mutter “Pshaw, city folk!”)

Neighbors in Grand Mesa: I appreciate the concern as to the condition of my cattle. However, it is normal after calving that a cow looks "poor/starved." She also begins the nursing process that is a drain on her. I now have 6 spring calves. These are fed round bales on a regular basis as well as daily cattle feed. However, since you feel this is not enough, please feel free to contribute to their feed bill. You can send your contributions to [redacted]. Round bales are $55. Cubes $10 a bag. I do appreciate your concern and I look forward to your help in their care. And they will thank you too. Thanks too for calling the Williamson County Sheriff's Dept. It was good to see them again! They of course found no issue with the cattle.

related: If your grandma wrote PSAs

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · horses, cows, & chickens · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Oops? · Texas · thanks (but not really)