Entries Tagged as 'Utah'

I love you…but I love you more when you’re skinny.

February 11th, 2014 · 73 Comments

Writes Joshua in Salt Lake City: “This past year I’ve been trying to lose weight. It’s been up and down. Apparently my mother knows that.”

Happy Valentine's Day Josher! 'Skinny Josh Bag' Proud of you! What's the day without the candy bag...just 'Chew & Spit'

related: Mom is my favorite passive-aggressive Valentine

Tags: heart · hey fatty · Mother-son notes · Salt Lake City · signed with love · Valentine's Day · xoxo

Gee, I’m glad my car could ease your conscience

September 9th, 2013 · 76 Comments

Courtney’s friend Tom found this note — from our newest contender for douchecanoe of the year) — on the windshield of his Toyota FJ Cruiser.

Hi, I hit your lower passenger side bumper on my way into the spot next to you. I guess that is what happens when you drive a gas-guzzling wanna-be Jeep — so I don't feel so bad.  Hope you have insurance!

related: Yeah, I dinged your car, but you kinda deserved it

Tags: car · don't blame us · Park City · parking · questionable logic

Wake up, Mixer. You’re in the Matrix.

June 4th, 2013 · 31 Comments

Oh look, another sentient kitchen appliance. This time, with allergies.

Please clean me when you get me dirty! I'm allergic to crusty waffle batter/potatoes...it makes me itchy and irritable...I don't like it. Ahh! A talking Mixer!! There is mixer; there is only Zuul! Silence! I kill you! <3 The Mixer Wake up, Mixer. You're in the Matrix.

(As spotted by Julie in her Provo, Utah college cafeteria.)

related: The very needy dishwasher

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · Provo · smartass

I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

August 16th, 2012 · 36 Comments

Rita in Utah was on the phone when her daughter handed her this note (less than a month into the school year). Says Rita: “I love how she tries to ‘soften the blow!’”

Dear Mommy, I Love You...but I want to buy school lunch tomoroe [sic]. thank you!

Gold star, kiddo. There are some adults who could take some note-writing pointers from you.

related: When kids “punish” their parents with the silent treatment

Tags: food · kids · Mother-daughter notes · not so much passive-aggressive · Utah

But do people recognize ‘fine art’ when they see it?

October 18th, 2011 · 72 Comments

At the local art exhibit of the Utah State Fair: a smug reminder of what we already know, thankyouverymuch. As our submitter wrote, “We’re not animals, after all!”

But do people recognize

related: Signed, R. Mutt

Tags: art · Salt Lake City · touching

No “cat parts” in the sink

August 11th, 2011 · 33 Comments

Our submitter found the following signage at an engineering office in Salt Lake City, Utah. Adds our submitter: “For the life of me I can’t figure out what ‘cat parts’ is supposed to refer to — or why people would need a note to know it’s not appropriate to leave them in the kitchen sink.”

[Note 1:] Please Do Not Leave "cat parts" in the sink. Thanks. [Note 2:] Then we need a designated cat parts receptacle. Where else am I supposed to put my leftover cat parts?

P.S. When I did a quick Google Image Search for “cat parts,” I ended up here:

related: “Place feral cats in box”

Tags: cats · kitchen · office · rebuttals · Salt Lake City · smartass · Utah · WTF?

Papa’s John

October 31st, 2010 · 82 Comments

If you needed another reason to be happy you don’t live in Utah, Justin brings us this explosion of bad ideas from a Provo office park.

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

(I’m going with “Team None-of-the-Above” for this one.)

Why did you put this in the bathroom trash? It makes me really uncomfortable to go to the bathroom when I smell food...Sometimes I can't go, & this is really unhealthy for my body!

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

related: The bathroom walls are NOT soundproof.

extra credit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Air Freshener

Tags: bathroom · guilt trip · odor · pizza · Provo · questionable logic · rebuttals · shit · that's disgusting · that's unhealthy · toilet · Utah · WTF?

The “Next to Marry” List

June 1st, 2010 · 95 Comments

Scix in Salt Lake City, Utah found this Valentine tucked into a book at a local thrift store run by the Mormon Church. “The idea of using any edition of The Rules to get your kids married is kind of scary,” he says, but imagining the sweet, naive Mormon mom behind it (doing EVERYTHING IN HER POWER) makes it kind of cute…if a bit absurd.

K.T. - I'm sending Christy

related: We are sure you will be a beautiful bride, but…

Tags: nice stationery · Salt Lake City · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas

Maybe it was the “Bring your own Sprite” part that turned people off?

May 3rd, 2010 · 66 Comments

Our submitter in Provo, Utah came across this sad little display taped to a door at Brigham Young University. “There’s a lot of pent-up, childish anger there,” she says.

Birthday Party. We're turning 21! (CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST AND PARTICIPATION)

Perhaps those would-be party-throwers in Provo could find some consolation from Ricky in Buenos Aires — his 49th birthday party was also cancelled due to a lack of cooperación from his amigos. (Hello, mission trip?)

PARTY SUSPENDED FOR WANT OF FRIENDS' COOPERATION... (We'll see you at the 50th) Ricky

related: This is not a party, only a reminder to not forget…again.

Tags: birthday · college life · it's my party · Utah

Completely valid rebuttals

March 30th, 2010 · 103 Comments

More proof that — no matter how in the right you are — writing a note about it makes you kind of an airhose, too. Especially if you’re using Comic Sans.

From Elizabeth at CMU in Pittsburgh:

Do you leave annoying notes in the hall? You just might be self-righteous.

And from Drake at BYU in Provo, Utah:

DO NOT LEAN ON AIRHOSE!!! DON'T USE COMIC SANS!!! Better than Papyrus. TrueBetter than Papyrus. True

related: Please pickup your prints pomptly

extra credit: The man behind Comic Sans [wsj.com]

Tags: college life · Comic Sans Alert · door-slamming · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · Utah