Entries Tagged as 'Provo'

Wake up, Mixer. You’re in the Matrix.

June 4th, 2013 · 34 Comments

Oh look, another sentient kitchen appliance. This time, with allergies.

Please clean me when you get me dirty! I'm allergic to crusty waffle batter/potatoes...it makes me itchy and irritable...I don't like it. Ahh! A talking Mixer!! There is mixer; there is only Zuul! Silence! I kill you! <3 The Mixer Wake up, Mixer. You're in the Matrix.

(As spotted by Julie in her Provo, Utah college cafeteria.)

related: The very needy dishwasher

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · Provo · smartass

Papa’s John

October 31st, 2010 · 82 Comments

If you needed another reason to be happy you don’t live in Utah, Justin brings us this explosion of bad ideas from a Provo office park.

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

(I’m going with “Team None-of-the-Above” for this one.)

Why did you put this in the bathroom trash? It makes me really uncomfortable to go to the bathroom when I smell food...Sometimes I can't go, & this is really unhealthy for my body!

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

related: The bathroom walls are NOT soundproof.

extra credit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Air Freshener

Tags: bathroom · guilt trip · odor · pizza · Provo · questionable logic · rebuttals · shit · that's disgusting · that's unhealthy · toilet · Utah · WTF?

If you could summarize BYU culture in one note…

February 7th, 2010 · 92 Comments

At least a half-dozen submitters (including Spencer, Kelsae, and Mark) would pick this one — from a pizzeria in Provo, Utah.

“For those who don’t know, “lower kingdoms” comes from Mormon theology, where they believe that people are sorted out into three kingdoms instead of the traditional heaven and hell option,” Kelsae says.

Adds Spencer: “There’s a stack of plastic cups in the public’s reach for use either for water or soda, depending on whether you paid or not. The influence this business avers on final judgment, combined with overt Mormon theology  (the the staff signatures include both Captain Moroni and Nephite #2) made me both wince and chuckle.”

PLEASE BE HONEST AND PAY FOR YOUR DRINKS  BESIDES, IS IT REALLY WORTH $1.59 TO SPEND ETERNITY IN ONE OF THE LOWER KINGDOMS?  YOUR INTEGRITY MATTERS MOST WHEN IT COMES TO THE &quot;LITTLE&quot; DISHONESTIES [sic]. SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION! P.S. REFILLS ARE FREE! f you could pick one picture to summarize the culture at BYU...

related: nosy Provo neighbors

Tags: beverages · Jesus · Provo · restaurant · Utah · you're like so going to hell

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 329 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: nosy neighbors in provo, utah

related: A substance user and a player!

Tags: "helpful" advice · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Provo · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · Utah