Entries Tagged as 'Virginia'

It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 Comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing

Monster in my bed

April 22nd, 2012 · 129 Comments

Writes our submitter in Virginia: “One of my (two) roommates is convinced that someone is sleeping in her bed when she is not here. Even though NO ONE has slept in her bed, angry text messages have been exchanged about these mystery sleepover guests, but (like everything else) she has never confronted us face to face. The other night, I stumbled across this gem on her pillows when I dared to enter her room to turn off the light she leaves on for days upon days.”

Do NOT sleep in my bed. I will be able to tell, and I will be PISSED. I respect your stuff, so please respect mine. And if you think this note is weird, I think it's even weirder that you're in here reading it. :)

related: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Quarters

Tags: roommates · sleeping · smiley · Virginia

This flamingo has flown

August 15th, 2011 · 34 Comments

Writes Leslie in Richmond, Virginia: “The note’s creator seems to have purposely made his/her community note as undecorative as possible, but left the USA sign, flag, toadstools, ceramic rabbit, and rainbow-colored pinwheels untouched.”

Due to some low-lifed piece of crap who has been stealing my decorations for the last three months i will no longer be decorating for the various holidays any longer.

Personally, I would have liked to see if adding of few of these to the yard would have solved the problem.

related: The Circle of Hell Dante forgot to mention

Tags: gloriously redundant · holiday spirit · neighbors · Richmond · stealing

Why climb when you can RIDE?

May 17th, 2011 · 47 Comments

As it happens, our entire technical staff (a.k.a Eric) recently completed a Ph.D in computer science and took a job at the newly formed Max Planck Institute for Intelligent Systems in picturesque Tübingen, Germany. (That’s right kids, if you work hard, and get your doctorate in computer science, you too may one day be qualified enough to host a found-content blog!)

Upon arriving at MPI’s Tübingen campus, Eric immediately felt at home. Specifically, he spotted some encouraging signage right next to the second floor elevator in one of MPI’s buildings.

Why don't we take the Healthy Stairs

Besides being a powerful testament to Southern Germany’s deep love of hiking, this health conscious posting also highlights the institute’s international reach. As you can see, the note itself is actually a photograph of a sign that was originally posted at (by?) Korea University*.

Of course walking down a single flight of stairs is hardly an inconvenience, particularly since the stairs in question are literally across from the elevator and lead directly to the building’s main entrance. The folks on the third floor, however, have a different perspective on the situation. Posted next to the third floor elevator is this rather charming reply.

WHY CLIMB STAIRS WHEN YOU CAN RIDE...with the finest in home elevators

Finally, from across the Atlantic, students at the University of Virginia have brought to light an additional concern surrounding the classic elevator vs. stairs debate. The following note, spotted by Trisha, was placed by the stairs of her UVA apartment building…along with an entire box of fat-free vanilla pudding.

Please Do Not Heave Up and Down the Stairs Like a Herd of Diseased Buffalo. Utilize the Elevator if you Have a Fat Ass.

Needless to say, the pudding was gone by the end of the day.

* Perhaps you, dear reader, can keep this transcontinental chain alive. Please consider printing out your own copy of the above photo and posting it at your place of business and/or learning.

related: You’re not even wearing designer shoes, so there’s no reason why you should be taking the elevator one floor.

Tags: Charlottesville · college life · elevator · Germany · hey fatty · rebuttals

No Bowl Movements Allowed

April 25th, 2011 · 34 Comments

From Jake in Richmond…another one for the “WTF?” files.

Please Do NOT Attempt To Move The Toilet! Thanks, Management.

related: All MALES using this toilet must sit.

Tags: now that's management · restaurant · Richmond · toilet · WTF?

And this is my fault…how?

April 3rd, 2011 · 77 Comments

Okay, so I’ve gotta give Scott credit here. I know I’m not the only driver who’s had the frustrating experience of returning to your parked car to find some mysterious new dent or scratch with the perpetrator long gone and no note in sight. Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side of things, and justified not leaving a note because the idiot had parked too damn close or in an non-legal parking spot or whatnot.

And yet, says our puzzled submitter, “I was pulled fully into a parking space, well within the white lines, with space on both sides. Why does he try to ‘kind of’ make it my fault?”

(I’m guessing it’s because he’s “kind of” passive-aggressive.)

Sorry! I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it the way you parked. My # is [redacted]. Call if you have any issues. :)   -Scott

Of course, I’d say that’s still preferable to receiving a note from someone who’s “kind of” a total asshole…

Hi, my name is Jack I accidently [sic] hit your car & someone saw me so I'm pretending to right down my details. SORRY. Jack

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: car · don't blame us · most popular notes of 2011 · parking · smiley · Virginia

I love you, you’re perfect, now leave

February 28th, 2011 · 66 Comments

Writes an anonymous roommate  in Virginia: “Apparently living with me and my roommates is so terrible that after leaving the house, this girl felt the need to advise [my other] ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us.” Adds our (not-at-all bitter) submitter: “The only batteries she needs to recharge are the ones that go in her vibrator.”

Rooms [sic], I need to go home & charge my batteries. The energy in this house literally sucks the life out of me and I need to be somewhere that makes me happy right now. I LOVE YOU, and I hope you stay at Chris's tonight!

related: Why can’t we all just get along? Don’t be bitches!

Tags: literally incorrect word usage · mean girls · nice stationery · roommates · signed with love · Virginia

Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.

February 14th, 2011 · 103 Comments

Tonya says she and her boyfriend in Charlottesville, Virginia had been living together for two years when they received this Valentine from his mother, “with the not-so-subtle implication that we should take our relationship to the next level.” Adds Tonya: “Oh, and on the inside of the card, she spelled my name wrong.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day to a Great Son and <del>Wife</del> Partner.

related: The next-to-marry list

Tags: Charlottesville · guilt trip · holiday spirit · love & marriage · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Valentine's Day

Roadside intervention

December 26th, 2010 · 53 Comments

So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.

Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”

Nancy [license plate number] - Put your wine bottles in a trash can - not here! Don't drink + drive!

related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · driving · drizzunk · garbage · public shaming · small town living · Virginia

Motivational posters for a down economy

September 14th, 2010 · 79 Comments

In a recession, how companies harness the power of positive thinking can get a little twisted.

In Roanoke, Virginia, for example, Seth says “an uptight lady I used to work with — who almost certainly used to be a hall monitor — wrote this motivational quote in the windowless trailer I shared with about 20 coworkers and a vindictive, micromanaging boss.”

 Seth says

When he eventually got laid off,  Seth says, the company tried to get him to interview for a different position —  but those inspiring words on the whiteboard set him straight. “I decided that imagining myself without a paycheck was not enough to keep me coming back to that acre of hell.”

Elsewhere in Roanoke, meanwhile, kitchen staff at this restaurant/bar are greeted by these empowering words every time they trudge through the doors.

To the staff: if you cannot do your job, please feel free to find another one.

And of course, nothing can top this classic:

To All Employees: NEW INCENTIVE PLAN - WORK - OR GET FIRED!

related: “Popcorn Thursday,” and 100o other ways to reward employees besides giving raises.

Tags: fired · most popular notes of 2010 · now that's management · office · Virginia · whiteboard