Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?

Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?

Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:

related: Listing in NOW Magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. Revenge?

Extra P in Charlottesville, Virginia found this note in his office break room. He draws our attention to two sections in particular: “the ‘let there be closure’ line, which seems more appropriate for a break-up note, and the ‘mark an X if you threw it away’ part, which reminds me of grade school mash notes. Besides, what did our local kleptomaniac want with a jelly jar full of water, anyway?”

related: next time, go for the fiji?

“There are several common rooms in my dormitory at Indiana University, and most of them have pianos available for the students to play,” writes Jain in Bloomington.

“While I can empathize with this anonymous student’s frustration, possibly after hearing the third or fourth broken attempt at ‘Chopsticks’ in a single day, I’ve personally found the exit to be a more successful coping strategy than leaving bitchy notes on a baby grand. But hey, different strokes…”

Meanwhile, Dan spotted a supermarket in Sterling, Virginia that took the above note-writer’s sentiment just a half-step further.

related:  I used to be your biggest fan

extra credit: pearls before breakfast [washingtonpost.com]

(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

3. From Miami, Florida…

related: Come get some

extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]

I really thought it couldn’t get more egregious than this clip-art catastrophe from a church in Boston (left), which made this one (right) look downright tasteful in comparison.

But then, at a friend’s recent wedding, Carey in Northern Virginia spotted this note — complete with that same punchy little yellow smiley — on several doors of the church. (There are more than one, I suppose, so that when you do a double-take and ask yourself “Wait…did they really just go there?” you can rest assured that yes, they really did.)

The kicker? Before the service started, Carey says, “We spotted the priest up near the altar — chatting on his Razr.”

Meanwhile in guatemala, Boingboing‘s Xeni Jardin spotted a sign one might consider either more or less blasphemous depending on whether you’re a follower of Christ or of the principles of good design

(translation: “TO TALK WITH GOD/YOU DON’T NEED A CELLPHONE/TURN IT OFF PLEASE”)

And if you’re of a faith that prefers to talk directly to God’s intermediaries, you might prefer the approach of this Guatemalan church also documented by Xeni:

“Talk to me personally,
I [will] listen to you.
You do not need a cellphone.
Yours truly,
GOD.”

related: Stop! In the name of clip art

extra credit: Crummy church signs

Myra spotted this note at the fine dining establishment known as Tudor’s Biscuit World in Roanoke, Virginia. (For the record, she says, don’t believe the hype — the biscuits aren’t all that great. But if you’re looking for a place to bear witness…)

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

Writes Simon in Richmond, Virginia: “I was combing through my Facebook newsfeed and came across this note posted by someone on my friend list. I have no idea who the note is referring to, but I think it’s kind of interesting that he’s putting out his dirty laundry for all to see.”

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Rachel in Virginia says her two roommates, “despite seeing and talking to me multiple times a day, decide to air their grievances through notes.” These grievances include being responsible for a $200 water bill “because i wash my face and hands at night and in the morning.” rachel has decided that enough is enough.

To paraphrase the Dude paraphrasing Bush Senior: This passive-aggression will not stand, man.

Meanwhile, Ben in Helena, Montana says he loves passive-aggressive notes.

In fact, he loves them so much that he had these special sticky notes printed up — both as an homage to our humble projet and “to encourage and facilitate the leaving of such notes.”

Adds Ben, “They’ve proved so popular I already need to order some more.” (Unclear whether this is a good thing.)

related: “That shit is disrespectful”