Entries Tagged as 'Wisconsin'

What the hell is going on at this office?

May 29th, 2011 · 54 Comments

Writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “A coworker was cutting his fingernails into a community desk at work, so another coworker put on rubber gloves, collected the cuttings, and then put them into a sandwich bag with this note stapled on back in the drawer.”

The real kicker, though? As it turns out, there’s actually more than one nail-clipping culprit in the office, our submitter says, ”because several people took the note personally.”

Wha-wha-WHAT? I mean, one office weirdo — that’s practically a given. But an entire gang of clandestine communal-desk-drawer-nail-clipping coworkers?  That’s just messed up.

Please stop cutting nails into drawer! :(

related: Sorry, I thought those were the *shared* office toenail clippers

Tags: hygiene · Madison · sad face · that's disgusting · visual aids · WTF?

Please clear your unused microwave time: now with more questionable statistics!

May 9th, 2011 · 84 Comments

Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)

Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

Did you know?  The "Remaining Time" display on a microwave can use up to 30% more energy than the clock does?  The clock only updates once a minute, flashing the time is much more frequent. So be green. Clear your time when you're done cooking. Every little bit helps.

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished. Some of us have OCD and leftover time drives us crazy. -Thanks!

related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy

Tags: dubious scientific claims · energy usage · microwave · Milwaukee · office · questionable logic · The Earth · Wisconsin · WTF?

Feeling of failing

November 21st, 2010 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, a college student in Wisconsin, passes along this “debackle” of an e-mail a girl in her art history class recently sent to all the other students in the class — and, in a particularly gutsy/idiotic move — to the professor, too.

Adds our submitter: “The funny thing is that the class is actually very enjoyable, the instructor has never changed a test date/format, and the lectures are always well organized and engaging. Judging from all the spelling errors, she might want to drop art history and pick up an English class instead.”

Hi. I'm a classmate forced to suffer with you on this painful road of the history of art. I am reaching out to anyone who is struggling to keep up with the changing tests, the lack of pertanant [sic] information, and the hair pulling debackle [sic] of lecture.  I'm looking for people who are up for study groups and that are willing to share the load when figuring out where the hell we're going.  Feel free to contact me if your [sic] interested in hooking up and NEVER TAKING THIS CLASS AGAIN!  I'm willing to work and desprate [sic] not to do this again.  All my info is listed below, texting or e-mail is best.

related: One final critique — put the damned phone away!

Tags: college life · e-mail · Oops? · spelling and grammar police · Wisconsin · your/you're

Vintage Snobs ‘R’ Us

June 23rd, 2010 · 92 Comments

Mark from Liverpool spotted this sign in the window of a vintage clothing store in the center of Rome. Please, someone go take a dump in their fitting room.

No Aliens No Visitors No Stingies No Miserables ONLY BUYERS! ONLY VINTAGE LOVERS! NO TOURIST

Meanwhile, as Tyler and his pals discovered, this vintage store in Madison, Wisconsin is apparently only obnoxious to its actual customers. “The changing rooms were covered in notes,” Tyler says, “and the old woman behind the counter had a continuous look of disdain on her face. It took us a while to realize that was just the way she rested her face.”

Rather than, say, passing judgment on the sizes of their potentially TOO LARGE waists.

STOP. Check the tag. Is it too small? Then don't try it on and please us all!

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

Tags: "customer service" · attire · blitzkrieg approach · Italy · Madison · tourists

A few choice words from Mom

June 8th, 2010 · 76 Comments

Mothers truly skilled in the art of passive-aggression don’t need much to make their feelings known.

Just ask Rachel in Boston, who recently finished a three-semester master’s program a few months later than expected. “My mom was less than thrilled that my nine classmates finished on time while I struggled to edit my final paper,” Rachel says. “When I finally finished, we had a small graduation party, and she presented me with this gem of a cake.”

Finally! Rachel

Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “My mother has a bit of a ‘thing’ against any sort of carbonated beverage and constantly refers to diet soda as ‘the devil’s brew.’ I recently bought a little pack of the mini-cans of Diet Coke, and left one on the computer desk. After arriving home one evening, I found that my mother had kindly re-labeled one of my empty cans for me.”

Little can of poisonous chemicals

In recognition of this particular skill, Amazon.com has apparently farmed out the writing of their suggested “PayPhrases” to stay-at-home Moms across the country…as Jessica in California noticed, on a double-take.

Express Checkout with PayPhrase: "Jessica's Brief Relationships"

related: Is your blog kid-tested, Mom-approved?

Tags: Boston · cake · Diet Coke · Madison · Moms & Dads

But a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.

(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

McKenna, Happy birthday! Please shovel the front sidewalk. Thank you. I went to Madison

related: when a card just won’t do

Tags: birthday · Moms & Dads · Wisconsin

Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

July 20th, 2009 · 128 Comments

“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

We'd be glad to stop if we knew what the hell you were talking about.

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room.  In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

related: sheena is a paintballer

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin

Smug alert

April 27th, 2009 · 273 Comments

The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.

58mpg

Sometimes…too much.

Just Divorced!!

i don't return movies on time!!

(Thanks to the eagle-eyed Russell in Madison, Wisconsin; Alyssa in Pleasant Grove, Utah and Samantha in Lexington, Kentucky for the documentation.)

related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?

Tags: car · Kentucky · Lexington · public shaming · Utah · Wisconsin

Pain (and disgust) at the pump

June 11th, 2008 · 116 Comments

Just in case gas prices aren’t hurting you enough lately, Tim from Madison, Wisconsin brings us this stomach-turning (yet impressively restrained) note from a petrol station somewhere en route to Green Bay.

Magazines must be purchased before entering the restroom. Thank You

Meanwhile, Tonya in Oakland passes along a photo taken by a traveler brave/desperate enough to actual enter a gas station restroom somewhere in Utah.

ATTENTION Bathrooms are FREE for your use if you feel the NEED to COMPLAIN about cleanliness the cleaning supplies are INSIDE!

And finally, the kicker, from Jim in Columbia, S.C. —  who would’ve guessed that germaphobia and gas-station employment aren’t mutually exclusive?

POSTED IF YOU HAVE FLU KEEP YOUR ASS OUT!

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

Tags: "customer service" · Columbia · excessive underlining · gas station · germaphobia · South Carolina · toilet · Wisconsin

A little bit of psycho-therapy

June 8th, 2008 · 66 Comments

“This is from my shrink’s office,” explains our anonymous submitter in Wisconsin. “Ironically, I was going to them to help me resolve issues with my spouse’s passive-aggressive tendencies.”

Since we really hate working for free, please notify your psychologist of any changes in insurance coverage for 2008 THANK YOU

Can’t you just feel the repressed anger in the sudden drop-off in punctuation?  (After all, if you’re not gonna use three exclamation points, why bother?)

related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · money · shrinks · Wisconsin · You call that punctuation?