Entries Tagged as 'college life'

In case of emergency, call…

November 28th, 2014 · No Comments

Laura in Victoria noticed this unofficially annotated official notice while studying late one night at the UVic Campus. Says Laura: “Given that it’s posted in a building crammed with tired university students, the original notewriter probably have been able to predict what would happen next.”

And exercise some maturity by not writing "Batman" or "Ghostbusters" or any other alternate to the emergency organizations provided. Thank you.

And what happened next was…BUTTS.

And exercise some maturity by not writing "Batman" or "Ghostbusters" or any other alternate to the emergency organizations provided. Thank you. [BUTTS]

related: This is not a bulletin board.

Tags: Canada · college life · smartass

As Ed Hardy said, “Flushing kills slowly”

August 11th, 2014 · 67 Comments

Our submitter says this note was posted in a Princeton University restroom by his coworker, who had become “completely obsessed with finding out who didn’t flush the urinal after using it.” After posting the note, he began to discreetly check the urinal every time he saw someone leave the restroom.

“Eventually he identified the culprit, and that individual was appropriately shunned,” says our submitter. “At least he kept his oath to God!”

As Ed Hardy said, "Flushing kills slowly"

 

related: Were you raised by wolves? (a flowchart)

Tags: college life · New Jersey · office · reverse psychology · toilet

Lettuce not praise blameless men

March 18th, 2014 · 98 Comments

Writes our submitter from the UK: “It seems that student living brings out the best in passive aggressive note-writers.”

Hello,  You left this piece of lettuce on the floor last week and I was wondering if you still wanted it? If you do you should maybe keep it in a safer place than the communal kitchen floor.  Just checking,  Alex from room A xxx

related: EAT ME!

Tags: college life · food · smartass

Ah, the miracle of childbirth!

March 13th, 2014 · 135 Comments

Isaac prefaces this by saying, “I feel bad for the person who posted this screed. I really do.”

But — and isn’t there always a but? — he adds: “The university library here has a HUGE laptop and gadget-theft problem, and there are signs everywhere warning people not to leave their stuff unattended. This guy left a $2000+ shiny Apple laptop just sitting on a table, with all of his super-sentimental irreplaceable pictures on it, and just walked away. And then expected nothing to happen. Really?

My Apple MacBook Pro was stolen January 30 from the Alexander Library at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J.  I have just a few words for the opportunistic, cowardly thief, and I would like to throw them out into the universe so I can move on:  First, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you are least some portion of an actual human being with a conscience and a degree or two of a moral compass...  Before you wipe my computer clean (and sell it to feed whatever disgusting vice moves you), you should open some of the folders of photography from the last 35 days. You will find all of the images and video I shot of my son Gavin since he was born on Dec, 31, 2013. Spending every moment I could with him since he was born, the backing up of my files took a back seat; your one selfish act has robbed Gavin, my wife, and my family of many irreplaceable memories. You stole everything we had to document Gavin's arrival into the world.  You should look at those photos and ask yourself a few questions about who you are. What kind of future do you think you will have if you are capable of so casually inflicting pain on other people? If you can look at those images of my son in the isolate, jabbed with i.v.'s and struggling to keep his premature body warm, and you don't feel something, then you are a lost cause. There is no pathos for you. You have chosen your path and you will walk alone to the grave. You have taken so much from me, my son, and my wife, but I can still pick up my son and feel his perfect breath on my cheek. Good luck ever finding that in your life.

related: Which is a more despicable crime?

Tags: college life · guilt trip · New Jersey · purple prose · stealing

Sign, cosign…and off on a tangent

November 25th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Ever wonder how MIT undergrads spend their free time? Well, thanks to Benjamin in Boston, you have your answer:

Please make bigger signs. It will encourage people to read your signs.

related: How’s that for a group effort?

Tags: college life · dishes · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · smartass

This is why people hate the Millennials

November 11th, 2013 · 285 Comments

Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Rather than write a lengthy explanation of why it is a bad idea to come to my class without reading the material, or why typing away on your laptop or checking FB while I am speaking (or worse, while yours peers are leading discussion) is rude, I decided instead just to thank those of you who consistently come into class prepared and enthusiastic.

related: So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · college life · Colorado · kids today · most popular notes of 2013

I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.

October 10th, 2013 · 204 Comments

Basic hygiene: Sadly, one of those things that some people make it to college without learning…until they end up with a bio major for a roommate.

I'm detecting foul body odor coming from your bed sheets and closet. Due to the humidity, age, and overall neglect of the Howell building, there are a lot of bacteria and they function at a significantly higher rate than in most other structures. The bacteria feed on human excretions and other easy food sources. These are but are not limited to sebaceous and apocrine gland secretions, actual food, fecal residues from farting, etc. As you may or may not be aware of, the bacteria that metabolizing these substances are odor causing. Since we are paying in excess of $2000.00 for these rooms per semester, cooperation to ensure a livable room and satisfactory cohabitation is a very high priority. I pay out-of-pocket by myself, so I'm resentful that the room almost always falls short in cleanliness in appearance or odor. This smell is not from room humidity, end of story. To remedy this problem, take the following steps...

related: This room is protected by the Constitution!

Tags: college life · hygiene · It's science! · most popular notes of 2013 · odor · roommates · TL;DR

Beware the Ides of M.Arch

February 25th, 2013 · 60 Comments

“Architecture students are known for their creative, um, madness,” writes our submitter. “Combine that with severe sleep deprivation, and voilà!” Among the architecture master’s students who share this studio, our submitter says, this masterpiece of a note has already become legend.

Don't ever think about touching this model. Are you happy if I touch your model that you spend so much time and money? Just look at this model if you want; however, don't judge anything if you're not the professor. Don't speak out about this model or shake your head like something is wrong about this model (in front of me) if you aren't 100% sure about right and correct. This model's just different unlike yours, that's all. Mind your own business. Keep your noose out of my business Don't worry about it. It's none of your business. A third party should not thrust his nose into these matters. If i find out that you touch this model, I will definitely touch yours. Don't incite me to fight with you. Don't goad me on to destroy you.

related: Untitled — Broken Glass

extra credit: Architorture School

Tags: college life · most popular notes of 2013 · touching

PEDANT (noun)

February 19th, 2013 · 84 Comments

Oh boy.

To: University of Guam Library  Good Afternoon, I have spent many semesters in our wonderful campus library. I admire the dedication and hard work that the staff demonstrates in order to maintain and keep up top priority issues any students may experience. I would like to contribute what I have learned in my few years here at UOG. I frequently occupy the main floor and have come across some signs that read

(As always, just click on the image to enlarge.)

related: Volenti non fit injuria

Tags: college life · library · TL;DR

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates