As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

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This note, from the science library of Washington & Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, has a bit of a backstory.

Explains our anonymous submitter: “Here, you can reserve a carrel for the entire school year, with two students to a carrel. Our honor system is such that people leave their books and belongings at their carrel basically all the time.” Our submitter caught sight of this little exchange and sneakily made a photocopy to share with us. (Oh, and FYI: “A&P,” our submitter says, refers to Anatomy and Physiology — a popular course that generally only seniors get into.)

Today’s tasteless gross-out is brought to us by Christina in Irvine, California. (My apologies in advance.)

Justin in Winston-Salem, N.C. spotted this classic mom note on the fridge at his friends’ house — with a bonus roommate note, to boot!

Says Justin: “I love the magnet — not sure if it’s supposed to be a letter grade or not, but I prefer to think that it is. If they get an F, I’d get a negative B or so.”

(Wings, corn dogs, taquitos AND mac & cheese? Ah, college.)

During his fourth year of college, Andrew from Waterloo says he lived with some seriously passive-aggressive roommates. The following three notes all went up within a 48-hour period:

Andrew couldn’t resist adding one of his own…

(It was promptly taken down.)

related: The post-it wars

“Apparently I was violating some building rules that annoyed my roommate,” says Alex in Waterloo, Ontario. “Rather than asking me in person, he wrote this on our front door for all to see.”

The third paragraph of the first e-mail is the brilliant part…though I’m gonna have to side with Michelle’s roommate on this one.

Adds Michelle: “that bread was fucking delicious.”

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Vici lives in London with five flatmates — all guys.

(If you don’t have a house full of cereal-stealing warcraft players like vici and don’t get the “orly?” thing…wikipedia to the rescue!)

related: cereal killer

This isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. And it’s about 100 shades of amazing.

I’ll let Rich explain: “I had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.”

related: CARE — it makes a difference