Entries Tagged as 'college life'

I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.

October 10th, 2013 · 204 Comments

Basic hygiene: Sadly, one of those things that some people make it to college without learning…until they end up with a bio major for a roommate.

I'm detecting foul body odor coming from your bed sheets and closet. Due to the humidity, age, and overall neglect of the Howell building, there are a lot of bacteria and they function at a significantly higher rate than in most other structures. The bacteria feed on human excretions and other easy food sources. These are but are not limited to sebaceous and apocrine gland secretions, actual food, fecal residues from farting, etc. As you may or may not be aware of, the bacteria that metabolizing these substances are odor causing. Since we are paying in excess of $2000.00 for these rooms per semester, cooperation to ensure a livable room and satisfactory cohabitation is a very high priority. I pay out-of-pocket by myself, so I'm resentful that the room almost always falls short in cleanliness in appearance or odor. This smell is not from room humidity, end of story. To remedy this problem, take the following steps...

related: This room is protected by the Constitution!

Tags: college life · hygiene · It's science! · most popular notes of 2013 · odor · roommates · TL;DR

Beware the Ides of M.Arch

February 25th, 2013 · 60 Comments

“Architecture students are known for their creative, um, madness,” writes our submitter. “Combine that with severe sleep deprivation, and voilà!” Among the architecture master’s students who share this studio, our submitter says, this masterpiece of a note has already become legend.

Don't ever think about touching this model. Are you happy if I touch your model that you spend so much time and money? Just look at this model if you want; however, don't judge anything if you're not the professor. Don't speak out about this model or shake your head like something is wrong about this model (in front of me) if you aren't 100% sure about right and correct. This model's just different unlike yours, that's all. Mind your own business. Keep your noose out of my business Don't worry about it. It's none of your business. A third party should not thrust his nose into these matters. If i find out that you touch this model, I will definitely touch yours. Don't incite me to fight with you. Don't goad me on to destroy you.

related: Untitled — Broken Glass

extra credit: Architorture School

Tags: college life · most popular notes of 2013 · touching

PEDANT (noun)

February 19th, 2013 · 84 Comments

Oh boy.

To: University of Guam Library  Good Afternoon, I have spent many semesters in our wonderful campus library. I admire the dedication and hard work that the staff demonstrates in order to maintain and keep up top priority issues any students may experience. I would like to contribute what I have learned in my few years here at UOG. I frequently occupy the main floor and have come across some signs that read

(As always, just click on the image to enlarge.)

related: Volenti non fit injuria

Tags: college life · library · TL;DR

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

Everything but the actual kitchen sink

October 22nd, 2012 · 23 Comments

Writes Jocelyn in London: “Since moving into halls for the first year of university, our hygiene skills have gone downhill, to say the least. Finally, one of our roommates cracked and cleaned up the rotting mess…or so we thought.” Instead, he just found a new “dumping ground.”

I needed to wash a mug so I made room in the sink. Please stop using the sink & tops as a dumping ground! Sincerly [sic] Cameron xx

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: college life · dishes · London · roommates

Talkin’ trash

October 15th, 2012 · 47 Comments

Our submitter, a college student in Texas, says this note appeared just two weeks into the fall semester. “I’m excited to see what gets posted a few weeks from now when nothing changes,” she adds.

In the meantime, can somebody get this kid a thesaurus?

Dear Residents of Level 4, Pick up your motherfucking trash and take it down to the motherfucking dumpster. Quit being such disrespectful assholes, and lazy Fat fucks and just drive your fucking trash down to the TRASH CAN. I swear to god I will shove a broom up your ass if you don't start keeping up after yourselves. You are a motherfucking slob. Sincerely, I fucking hate you

related: Kiss your mother with that mouth?

 

Tags: college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · that's disrespectful

The Shark Week Scriptures

September 16th, 2012 · 58 Comments

Spotted by Rebecca in a women’s dorm at an evangelical college in St. Louis, Missouri…

Jesus shed his blood for me, so you don't have to as well. Wrap your pad! P.S. We know who you are, nasty!

related post:

What Would Jesus Steal?

Tags: bathroom · bodily fluids · college life · hygiene · Jesus · message to all intended for one · St. Louis · that's disgusting · TMI

Well, it’s not a horse’s head in your bed…

April 25th, 2012 · 43 Comments

Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.

(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)

This is what will happen to you if you take people's clothes.

related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…

Tags: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning

When frenemies attack

April 17th, 2012 · 90 Comments

Well, girls, I’d say you have at least few things in common…unfortunately for the rest of us.

ATTN Roomies: You are jerks for locking me out of the room while I was in the shower. I hate you all. We have nothing in common anymore, and are officially no longer friends. That is all. -Caley

Dear Caley, We did that on purpose. We all secretly hate you. We have nothing in common. -Ayesha :) P.S. We're gonna do it again...

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

Tags: college life · heart · mean girls · roommates · smiley · Texas

This is not a pun.

April 9th, 2012 · 30 Comments

“What evils might befall our university if someone posts a flyer on the bulletin board that says it isn’t a bulletin board?” asks our submitter in California. “I still don’t know, but at least this was amusing.”

THIS IS NOT A BULLETIN BOARD - DO NOT POST FLYERS  He's not flying any more...

related: Fly’s fishing clinic

Tags: college life · most popular notes of 2012