Entries Tagged as 'college life'

Your “constructive” criticism is a little off-putting

March 12th, 2012 · 67 Comments

This was the “constructive criticism” Peter received from a classmate on his latest creative writing assignment. (Doesn’t it make you really want to read the whole paper?)

This paper is very choppy and unclear. It is written more like a long winded rant in you exact manner of speaking than an essay. You tend to make run-on sentences and overuse commas, on top of including minute details which make the paper boring & dry, which is a bummer since the topic is interesting. You also tell it in a very arrogant manner, it seems like you think you're really cool for this. Try not to sound like you're such a special snowflake, it's very off-putting.

related: So you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement?”

 

Tags: college life · Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · way harsh

Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

March 11th, 2012 · 154 Comments

Writes Chelsea in Colorado: “This is just hilarious. Their bass shakes our floor at all hours on a pretty much daily basis, but they’re upset because…we walk loudly?”

Hi, As much as I understand your guys' frustration with our loud music on the weekends, (which by the way you've made clear through your stomping) it IS within the

related: How now, Mad Cow?

Tags: college life · Colorado · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · smiley

Sunday night laundry room showdown

December 12th, 2011 · 114 Comments

Emily in Michigan happens to go to the university with the largest residence hall system in the U.S., and the Sunday-night scene in the dorm laundry room can be, well, a bit of a shit show.

This is the scene Emily came across one such Sunday:

Sunday night laundry room showdown

And underneath…

Whoever took my clothes out of this dryer: It takes me HOURS to do laundry. I sanitize every washing machine + dryer with Lysol before I use it, + take great pains to not let my clothes touch anything in this room

ESPECIALLY the floor or table. By dumping my clean laundry on the table, you have completely disrespected my property + privacy (seriously, don't touch someone's underwear?!?) Please don't touch other people's shit again.

(Adds Emily: “The laundry room is very clean, but I guess some people need a little extra.”)

The saga continues when an innocent bystander jumps in to make nice…

While I understand and respect where you're coming from, I do not understand why you would let your clothes sit in the dryer for 15+ minutes when the laundry room is clearly backed up. In other words, be respectful and promptly take care of your shit. :)

Meanwhile, the instigator of all this is not the smiley face type.

To the person who left their clothes in the dryer forever

(just click the image above to enlarge it)

related: To whoever violated my laundry…

Tags: college life · guilt trip · laundry · Michigan · non-apology apology · note wars · rebuttals · smiley · that's disrespectful · touching

This vending machine ruined my life!

November 18th, 2011 · 94 Comments

Ah, first world problems.

The coffee vending machine gives coffee options in the order

(Spotted by Kim in Manchester, U.K.)

related: My query on the egg salad ban

Tags: college life · Manchester · U.K. · vending machine drama

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

A bitter butter battle

October 11th, 2011 · 189 Comments

“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

Dear Roomie, Fun Fact: Butter is a dairy, and dairy spoils!! Unless you want to kill us all, Please stop leaving the butter out.

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

Tags: butter · college life · food · fun fact · rebuttals · roommates · sad face

An artistic phallacy

September 9th, 2011 · 51 Comments

Says Michael, of this note from the bulletin board of his college dorm: “It pretty much speaks for itself.”

TO THE INDIVIDUAL OBSESSED WITH DRAWING PENISES: Rest assured that you are the only personal who finds humor in this. While I am glad you are so open in expressing yourself, it is rather distasteful to be depicting to your desires in such great detail on everybody's doors. If you care to enjoy your phallic artwork alone in your own place of residence, that is perfectly fine by me. However, there are a number of students who fail to appreciate your unique style of expression on their property. The next time time you feel the urge to create penises, do it on canvas and take it to an art show. Maybe you'll make some money out of the deal.

related: Body hair is unsanitary!

extra credit: A brief survey of blatantly phallic art [flavorwire.com]

Tags: art · college life · graffiti · most popular notes of 2011 · RA

And what’s the magic word?

August 4th, 2011 · 27 Comments

From a frat house in Denton, Texas…

STAY THE FUCK OUT Please

to an alley in Sydney, Australia…

Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE

back to a dorm room in Richmond, Virginia…

Please - DON'T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR -thanks :)

…the notion of “minding your manners” takes a few somewhat compromising turns along the way.

related: Please, body hair is unsanitary (source: webmd.com)

Tags: college life · door-slamming · fratboys · garbage · pleasantries as afterthought · pointlessly self-censored profanity

Help Desk Shenanigans

July 28th, 2011 · 24 Comments

Writes Bri in St. Paul, Minnesota: “I work at a University help desk that employs mostly students. Since their shifts are short, they have a habit of leaving all kinds of random things at the desk, much to the chagrin of many of my co-workers” — and the devilish glee of others.

[Left:] Is this your hair band? Or chap stick? [Right:] No, this is my hair band!

related: How is your eyes?

extra credit: Venn diagram of “shenanigans” [boingboing.net]

Tags: college life · Minneapolis/St. Paul · smartass

A spoonful of sugar might help this lesson in Newtonian physics go down

June 14th, 2011 · 47 Comments

This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.

“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”

A lesson in Newtonian Physics: If a spoon is washed in water, something it is very right and proper to be done, it still has residual water on it, unless dried.  If the spoon is placed on the draining board concave side up, gravitational force causes the water to sink into the concavity forming a puddle that is dependent on evaporation to remove it. If a male (it could only be a male) uses the bepuddled spoon to make himself coffee, water may get into the coffee tin and cause aggregation of the grounds which are hygyroscopic. This is given by these equations which are examples of a chaotic system (a Henon map) [equations] The solution to this problem is possibly too complex for members of this Department, but requires people to leave spoons convex side up.

In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.
DO NOT PUT WET DIRTY SPOONS IN SUGAR

related: The Ph.D’s approach to air conditioning units

*bad pun intended

Tags: a little patronizing · Australia · coffee · college life · note wars · office · spoons · U.K.