Entries Tagged as 'college life'

In the words of former President Bush (Yale ’68): “Childrens can learn!”

February 20th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Nope, it’s not just a West Coast thing — you can has exemplary higher education all over the country!

To wit: Marybeth spotted this totally [sic] bulletin board at Central Connecticut State University back in 2006.

HOW IS YOUR EYES? My eyes? My eyes [is] great. Yours [is] not so great.

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

Tags: college life · Connecticut · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

February 18th, 2011 · 69 Comments

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

BABIES????????????? FIND OUT HERE!!

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · hair · most popular notes of 2011 · preggers · shower · that's disgusting · WTF?

Yes, this is from a college campus.

February 7th, 2011 · 113 Comments

Okay, crazy cat lovers — enough. Let’s get back to a topic we can all agree on, like, say, how some people are OMG soooo dumb. (Lawls all around!) For example, Jeremy claims the colorful banner to the left was posted by an R.A. at a dorm on his California college campus.

related: You say “debackle,” I say…who let you into college?

extra credit: How do you pronounce “Qatar”? [Slate]

Tags: California · college life · RA · rainbow-colored · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

Stop “blocking your blessing”

February 3rd, 2011 · 76 Comments

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

To the Person Who Keeps Leaving Their Mess in the Toilet. I'M SO GLAD I WASN'T RAISED LIKE YOU....I KNOW YOU ARE PURPOSELY LEAVING YOUR MESS IN THE TOILET BECAUSE YOU DO IT EVERY DAY.... STOP BLOCKING YOUR BLESSING BY BEING MEAN SPIRITED GROW UP!!!!!. AND FLUSH THE TOILET. THAT'S JUST NASTY!!!!!!!!!!! [that is so true (shame on you)] GOD DOESN'T LIKE

related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · God · grow up · Philadelphia · toilet · You call that punctuation?

“You gave me an F? I’m reporting you to the FDA!”

January 25th, 2011 · 54 Comments

Near the start of the semester, a classmate (or, rather, a former classmate) of our submitter sent this this huffy message of “warm regards” to everyone on the course listserv. ”I guess someone doesn’t know how to unsubscribe from Yahoo Groups,” our submitter says. “Instead, by posting this message, she ‘flooded’ all of our inboxes.” And that is not a good thing.

I, for one, would LOVE to see this girl’s complaint to the FCC. I envision a bright future for her writing blustery cease & desist letters as an attorney-at-LOL until retiring to concentrate on angry letters to the editor.

Dear Class, Something came up and I have to quit the class. Please stop flooding my box with emails and get me out of this class and please do regard this letter and stop flooding me with emails. Or I will report you to the FCC and that is not a good thing. Thank you. With the Warmest Regards, [Redacted]

related: Be informed; Homeland Security will be.

Tags: college life · Pennsylvania · pleasantries as afterthought · WTF?

Fanning the first-floor flamers

January 10th, 2011 · 48 Comments

Hannah spotted this warning (and the accompanying Fire-Marshal takedown) posted at the University of Alaska art building in Juneau. On the ground floor.

1:

“It’s the ground floor; only an idiot would use the stairs to escape a fire. There’s a door over there ->  - if it’s on fire –  <-There’s a door over there.”
“WHERE’S YOUR IMAGINATION?”

“DUH, HE SOLD IT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.”

“What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames.”

Adding to the sign’s absurdity, Hannah says, is the fact that “the building is only two stories, and built at the base of an embankment. The upper floor can be accessed by the street on the upper level, and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”

related: Snark-itti

Tags: Alaska · college life · elevator · questionable logic · saga · smartass · that's a fire hazard

Mom, my flash drive is missing!

December 22nd, 2010 · 27 Comments

Apparently, your mother does work at the Clemson University computer lab. Now take some responsibility for yourself, child!

Whoever took my flash drive please turn it in to the sociology office. If any information is duplicated there will be [No] Consequences! [RESPONSE:] Attention students: Please stop leaving your flash drives lying around

related: These yogurts are expired. What should we do?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · not-so-veiled threats · oh snap · rebuttals · South Carolina · stealing

Well, that’s one way around that pesky “no eating in the library” rule

December 12th, 2010 · 53 Comments

Christian and John in Manchester, U.K. spotted this sign in the library of Manchester Metropolitan University…where the fridge thieves must be really, really ruthless (or the librarians very, very dotty).

This particular library, says John, “is where the vast majority of the university’s science and law students go. I have to wonder what sort of a university I go to if prospective engineers, biologists, chemists, physicists and lawyers have to be specifically asked not to put food in the toilet brush holders.”

Adds Christian: “I imagine a further note reading: ‘Please Do Not Poop On The Ceiling.’”

Please Do Not Put Food in the Toilet Brush Holders. Thank you!

Meanwhile, in Cambridge…further evidence of U.K. university students’ curious predilection for eating while toileting.

DUE TO MASSIVE CANINE INFESTATION WE MUST ASK YOU TO  PLEASE NOT LEAVE ANY UNCOVERED FOOD OUT IN THIS BATHROOM  THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING

related: Pizza box as air freshener?

Tags: bathroom · Cambridge · college life · food · Manchester · U.K. · WTF?

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

November 23rd, 2010 · 83 Comments

Emma says this note appeared in her dorm at the University of Chicago shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. “Our kitchen has a sign on the fridge that says: ‘If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.’ I assume this girl did not label her food.” (Because who would be cruel enough to steal such a traditional Thanksgiving delicacy from an old lady?)

Whoever ate my guacamole FUCK YOU. how rude can you be? that was obviously not for you. I was going to bring it to my grandmother's for thanksgiving. She was looking forward to it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Another dorm resident sent in a shot of the anonymous response added later.

Being passive-aggressive never SOLVED anything

related: Thanksgiving pride & passive-aggression

Tags: college life · food · guilt trip · irregular capitalization · rebuttals · stealing · Thanksgiving

Feeling of failing

November 21st, 2010 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, a college student in Wisconsin, passes along this “debackle” of an e-mail a girl in her art history class recently sent to all the other students in the class — and, in a particularly gutsy/idiotic move — to the professor, too.

Adds our submitter: “The funny thing is that the class is actually very enjoyable, the instructor has never changed a test date/format, and the lectures are always well organized and engaging. Judging from all the spelling errors, she might want to drop art history and pick up an English class instead.”

Hi. I'm a classmate forced to suffer with you on this painful road of the history of art. I am reaching out to anyone who is struggling to keep up with the changing tests, the lack of pertanant [sic] information, and the hair pulling debackle [sic] of lecture.  I'm looking for people who are up for study groups and that are willing to share the load when figuring out where the hell we're going.  Feel free to contact me if your [sic] interested in hooking up and NEVER TAKING THIS CLASS AGAIN!  I'm willing to work and desprate [sic] not to do this again.  All my info is listed below, texting or e-mail is best.

related: One final critique — put the damned phone away!

Tags: college life · e-mail · Oops? · spelling and grammar police · Wisconsin · your/you're